Yes, Just Like Jesus Kidnapped the Attendees at the Sermon on the Mount

November 14, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s a joke around some parts that the only reason Texas doesn’t slide into the Gulf of Mexico is because Oklahoma sucks.

Well, maybe Oklahoma could suck a little harder what with all the craziness going on in North Texas lately.  They can pretty much have everything above Dallas.

A group of North Texas girls has come up with a plan.

 

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I say girls because women would not do this to other women.

Where the hell did these girls learn about Jesus?  That’s what I want to know.  Did they go to JesusWorld in Orlando or see a Jesus H. Schwarzenegger movie?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Yes, Just Like Jesus Kidnapped the Attendees at the Sermon on the Mount”


  1. Check with Bubba but I am pretty sure that this could be considered kidnapping under Texas law

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  2. @Kyle – I agree. You lure a person into your car under false pretenses, drive her around for an hour against her will, take her somewhere she didn’t want to go… sounds like a kidnapping to me.

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  3. e platypus onion says:

    This could also be classified as false or deceitful advertising used to cause injury to unsuspecting women and cause damage to Planned Parenthood or other clinics reputation. I certainly would not expect a rwnj AG to even dream of enforcing the law against anti women’s rights groups. Not saying A Butt is partisan….yeah,that’s exactly what I’m saying.

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  4. Honey, this is what they BELIEVE with all their hearts. You gotta understand. I know. I’d go with kidnapping if I wanted to make a case of it.

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  5. What if the girl can’t afford a lawyer to make kidnapping charges?

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  6. Angelo_Frank says:

    Wouldn’t that be like a clansman offering a civil-rights worker a ride to a voting rights workshop during the 1960’s? The victim finds himself at a KKK rally instead?

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  7. Mary in Austin says:

    Lyin’ for the Lord plus a felony. They are just flinging the Ten Commandments down and dancing on them.
    (Marge Wood: the police and local prosecutors take care of criminal complaints like this. The victim is not responsible for the cost. Of course, the ACLU or other good souls may have to jump in to get the elected local d.a. moving. If any of these self-righteous nuts actually tried this stunt, I hope they will be at the ready.)

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  8. shortpeople says:

    @ Marge Wood I believe that kidnapping (or false imprisonment at a minimum) is a criminal offense. Filing a criminal complaint would be all that is necessary. If the cops don’t do anything, a letter to a sympathetic journalist or the Daily Show might be an idea.

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  9. shortpeople says:

    Acutually, that should be unlawful, not false.

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  10. Ah! Journalism. Folks can call a journalist but the words sure better be chosen carefully. Good old person friends are handy at a time like that too. Some old folks actually have good sense. I hope.

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  11. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Once she’s kidnapped, can a woman shoot the driver in self defense?

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  12. Advocates for kidnapping.. how nice.

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  13. That would be abduction under the law in Virginia. Hell, you can’t even take the neighbors kids for ice cream without asking the parents first. That’s also abduction.

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  14. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Seriously.

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  15. Irene Hahn says:

    From the other articles on that site this seems to be satire. But then again, these days it’s hard to distinguish between fact and satire.

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  16. Not only does this sound like kidnapping, but I think a case could be made for a civil lawsuit requiring the kidnappers to support any resulting child till he/she is 18.

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  17. donquijoterocket says:

    I’m guessing that whoever founded the Lilith fund knew well what Lilith stood for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith
    As for “praying for you” I’d advocate the experiment my grandfather always recommended. Pray in one hand, defecate in the other and see which gets full first.Is anyone sure this is not from the
    Onion?

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