.

“I swear to heaven above that if John Cornyn was a fish, we’d have to throw him back,” Juanita started this morning as I got to the beauty salon.

“Yeah, but then we’d have to skim nasty off the river for a week,” I replied.

Texas Senator John Cornyn ain’t winning no popularity contests at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

John Cornyn went on the teevee this weekend and said these words without breaking into howls of laughter —-

“Bush’s stock has gone up a lot since he left office,” adding: “I think a lot people are looking back with more fondness on President Bush’s administration, and I think history will treat him well.”

“Oh really?” Juanita asks.

I have to agree with her.  Polls show that Bush’s popularity still hovers way below 30%.  And since that’s the 30% of the country who can’t read and write, I doubt history will be kind to Bush at all because the boys at the trailer park won’t be writing any history books.

“Unless, of course,” Juanita warns, “the Texas State Board of Education has anything to do with it.  If they make the history decisions, history books will be written by Jim Bob and Cletus, at church, while drunk, shooting off their firearms, wearing nothing but a coon skin cap and a vacation Bible school sash saying “Wholly Man,” writing on a Big Chief tablet.  In that case, in the history books Bush will make Abraham Lincoln look bad and they’ll put Karl Rove on Mt. Rushmore.”

Oh crap.  All at once everybody in the room realized why every fruitcake in Texas in on the State Board of Education:  Jim Bob and Cletus will be writing textbooks and that’s the plan.

Oh crap.