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Juanita and her band, Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes, are working on a new tune called “Yachting Randy is a Dandy.”  It’s a catchy tune, but Randy probably won’t get caught.

Randy, of course, is Juanita’s favorite sleazy Texas Congressman, Randy Nuegebauer of Abilene and Lubbock.  Randy, as you know, represents the desert area of Texas, where they only got a quarter of an inch of rain during Noah’s flood.  Yet Randy had big oil and insurance lobbyists buy him a half million dollar yacht that he keeps in Washington Dee Cee.  The name of the yacht?  The Fun Raiser.

“He’s slicker than snot on a doorknob,” Juanita laughs.  “And he’s going to be featured on our next album cover because he’s the inspiration of a lot of our songs.”

“I know pavement princesses who are more particular about who they take money from than Randy is,” Juanita reports.  “He’s what we ladies here in Texas would demurely refer to as ‘a skanky old slut.'”

“Let me give you a recent example,” she offers.

The Justice Department has begun a criminal investigation into U.S. taxpayers who may have evaded taxes through HSBC Holdings PLC accounts in India and Singapore, according to tax attorneys close to the matter.

The agency is looking into whether taxpayers may have violated federal criminal laws by failing to report that they had a financial interest in, or signature authority over, a financial account located in a foreign country, according to a Justice Department letter obtained by Dow Jones Newswires.

“HSBC bought themselves a way out of paying taxes and a United States Congressman to boot,” Juanita stomps.

“But, did that bother Randy when he wanted to put gas in his yacht?  United Tipsy Trollops of America is proud to announce that no, it did not.”

If you have time, head on over to that link and take a look of $75,000 worth of hooker money.

“Randy gets the money, but we’re the ones who get screwed,” Juanita laments.

“And by the way, we’re still working on the last line of our latest song about Randy.  Does anybody know a word that rhymes with castard?”

Hummmm….. I’m thinkin’.