After All, He Is a Dick
Dick Cheney, who is anxious to get his daughter elected to Congress to clear his name, signed up for the Annual One Shot Antelope Hunt. Wyoming would have won except for one thing, Dick Cheney couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn even if he was inside the barn.
Last time, he claimed his friend stood in front of the buckshot. This time he blamed the gun manufacturer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCx1fzDcrNg
“The Vice President is an excellent shot,” said the captain of the Wyoming team Governor Matt Mead. “He (Vice President Dick Cheney) had a gun malfunction. But I think he is so excited and enjoyed this so much. He’ll be back next year.”
“I don’t take it personally,” said the former V.P. to the crowed of hunters at the victory banquet. “I’m sure there was a small problem with the manufacturer.” But I will be back next year and I have enjoyed it, it’s been fantastic. It’s great to spend so much time with some fine folks.”
“So, instead of blaming a bad shot, he blamed the gun company. This should come as no surprise; he’s been confused about blame before. After all, he did blame Iraq for the 911 attacks.
Thanks to Carl for the heads up.
Yeah, like it’s the elderly’s fault for being old and the sick people’s fault for being sick and the hungry people’s fault for being hungry. Typical Republican strategy……blame the victim.
1Clearly the one shot restriction was unfair to him when he is accustomed to using an UZI on full auto.
2I am so glad our tax dollars went to repair this man’s heart so he could go hunting.
3Wish they would have fed a hungry child instead.
Whatcha wanna bet there’s a free very expensive gun involved in all this? Furthermore:
Dear God,
4we know you don’t really want him either, but we are very weary of your creature R Cheney’s activities down here. Please rectify this situation at your earliest convenience (note: 15 years ago would have been a whole lot better for EVERYONE including Mr Cheney, who is by now going to wind up even below the bowels of he!!, by my estimation. I thought you were merciful!)
Love, Lizzie
I don’t want to take anybody’s gun away….with an exception or two.
If people want to own guns, that’s their right to do so.
My contention through this whole debate has been…. there are some people who don’t need to own guns. People with mental health problems, people who have restraining orders against them……people who have committed crimes with guns…. and Dick Cheney. How many do-overs does he get? He’s already shot one guy. That’s enough.
5Cheney’s new heart works just like the old one – it malfunctions.
Having grown up around guns, it’s my belief that anyone who was going to participate in a hunting competition would have checked out and tested his/her gun beforehand. Heaven forbid, we know Cheney would never, ever lie….
6According to Wyoming’s guv,Cheney needs a sex therapist to help control his gun malfunctions. To make Liz Cheney eminently electable,he should invite her on a hunt and make a Martyr(accidently of course) out of her. He can always blame the gun.
7P.S. how is it we can develop smart weapons and completely stoopid pols?
8I just want to know who DIDN’T get a heart because this slimball went to the top of the list.
9He’s short, fat and wears a ten-gallon hat.
10That’s Cowboy Dick overcompensatin’ agin, boys and girls. Oops, he forgot his fringed jacket.
Cheney should be restricted to waterfowl hunting. That way when the guide calls out “DUCK” everyone will know what to do.
11If Cheney’s gun malfunctioned, it made everyone else a little bit safer.
12Cheney is smarter than dumb bass dubya. A report claimed that AF 1 was shot down over Iraq and Bush,Cheney and Powell were all captured. Saddam Hussein ordered all three to face the firing squad. Powell was first and just before he was shot,he yelled tornado and everyone ducked ,Powell jumped the wall and got away. Cheney was next up and before the shots were fired,Cheney being the quick thinker he is yelled hurricane and everyone ducked and Cheney jumped the wall and escaped. Last and least was dubya and when it was time to shoot,being the quick thinker he was,dubya yelled fire.
13If only all those bombs Cheney dropped on Iraq during shock and awe had functioned properly…
14Rumour has it Cheney has secreted a drone for next year’s competition and figures to grandfather it in to the rules. He might wipe out a whole herd of pronghorns,but they’d be labeled collateral damage,so no biggie. Winning is all that counts.
15He probably would have done better hunting tame elk.
16This was the best excuse they could come up with after staking the sheep in a corral for Cheney & he still missed. Wonder which member of his family paid $2600 for his book just so he had an excuse to try to sell more copies? Shameful on both counts.
17I notice they don’t say *how* his gun malfunctioned.
In Cheney’s case, that would probably mean it put a bullet through whatever it was aimed at (instead of the intended target).
Ol’ 4-eyes was never much good at finding the right target, preferring to shoot first and declare whatever was hit to be the target. It worked for him in Vietnam, at Halliburton, and in Iraq. Why argue with success?
18The only thing better than a good guy with a gun is a bad guy with a gun that doesn’t work.
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