This is Getting Good!
Pass the popcorn, Thelma!
Republican Rep. Peter King said Friday that his Republican colleague in the Senate, Ted Cruz, “is a fraud” who will “no longer have any influence in the Republican Party” after the House votes on a measure that could potentially lead to a government shutdown.
So Republican Representative Peter King just called Republican Senator Ted Cruz a fraud. He left out, “You’re ugly and your Momma dresses you funny.” He’s saving that for Monday, I suspect.
Okay, so here’s the deal. Thelma and I are going to open the One Stop Republican Insult Emporium, where for just a dollar a piece, we will provide Republicans with words to insult other Republicans.
Like, “He just snapped a link in his tracer chain.”
We’ll even personalize some of them, like for Cruz, “Is your butt jealous about the amount of crap that just came out of your mouth?” (That’s a $2 one.)
“Remember when you stopped to think for a minute? Well, you need to start again.”
“I don’t exactly detest you but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it.”
“Hey, McConnell, you’re so old that you fart dust.”
“We all sprang from apes, but Rand Paul didn’t spring far enough.”
Oh hell, I’ll give them these for free. I think they need pies to throw, too. That would be so cool!
Thanks to Susan for the heads up.
“I’ve known bowls of buttermilk with more God-given
1sense than the Republican Party.”
I hate to say this but insults come back to haunt us. There must be some nicer ways to say what we’re all thinking…although some of these really are on target. Reminds me of back when GWB was still ruling Texas. I guess lots of insults are interchangeable.
2Insults may come back to haunt us, but allowing the other side to play dirty while we mind our manners hasn’t worked out well either. Remember Swift Boating? I still wish that Kerry had reamed them a new one.
3Bwahahahahaha…where do I send my $2.00?I have several people to use that on……
4I love me some classic Yo Mama jokes. Just interchange Mama for Repubs & it’s on!
Louie Gohmert is so stupid he got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Steve Stockmen is so stupid he talks in a envelope to send the voicemail.
Rick Perry is so stupid he hears it’s chilly outside so he gets a bowl.
Greg Abbott is so stupid he stole free bread.
Teehee. I like this.
5Go Lorraine, more . . .
6One power-mad dimwit insulting another! Reminds me of the old saying about the pot calling the kettle black.
7If you balanced a Texas Republican’s brain on the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a ball bearing rolling down a four lane highway
8Good grief why would you waste a nice pie?? Rotten vegetable matter a much better choice for lobbing at morons!
9Here’s a (hopefully) related question.
In my area, MSNBC has been running send-Ted-Cruz-money-to-stop-Obamacare ads right in the middle of that network’s prime-time lineup — Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow. I don’t especially have a problem with that, because (God knows) MSNBC needs the advertising revenue.
But SRSLY, what viewers sympathetic to that pitch do they think they’re reaching?
10Used them before but they’re still available:
If you put his brains on the head of a pin, they’d roll around like a dried pea on a six-lane highway, bless his heart. (Devona W, I like your version too but I saw this some years ago.)
Classic from author Will Cuppy: We are all descended from small worm-like creatures, but it shows more on some people.
11Awful thing is… is this.
Kids going hungry…… is not funny.
12Miemaw, I’m with you. There are kids and grownups in this country who go hungry for a day so the rest of the family can eat. Get that? Its a hallmark of a third world country.
13Braxton, they’re running those ads about stop Obamacare between Chris Hayes and RAchel Maddow? Weird.
14Braxton, I wonder if anyone has let Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow know it is happening?
15I have always liked “You lie, your feet stink and you dont love Jesus.”
16If Rick Perry’s brain were turned to gasoline, it couldn’t drive a pissant’s motorcycle halfway around the inside of a Cheerio. An oldie but still one of my favorites.
17