In Texas, you can carry a damn submachine gun around in public and it’s considered lawful as long as the weapon is not loaded.  Men with small winkies have been holding demonstrations of such all over Texas.  They just walk around with guns meant to shoot up school yards and call that “exercising their right.”

And with that law, some guys went to the Starbucks in San Antonio carrying their rifles.  Starbucks asked them to leave so they sat outside in full view of everybody.

Look, I’m not going to say anything about the gun between his legs because a picture is worth a thousand words.

The men were ticketed for Disorderly Conduct for merely being there and exercising their rights.  How can that be?

Well, sure ’nuff, there’s a Texas law (Texas Statutes 42.01) that says you have committed Disorderly Conduct when —

(8) displays a firearm or other deadly weapon in a public place in a manner calculated to alarm;

And who gets to decide if it’s alarming?  Anybody.  Me.  You.

So a woman called the police department and reported that she was “freaked out” by the guys being there.  I would be, too.  I have no way of knowing if those rifles are loaded and that guy with a pony tail just got laid off from his job as assistant night manager at the bowling alley.

So, here’s a good rule of thumb.  If you see anybody walking around with a large rifle, call the police.  The correct words are, “I am alarmed as hell.  As a matter of fact, the alarm is dripping down my pants leg.  I am more alarmed than a tornado siren.  Please come do something right now about my alarm.”

I think that’s a good idea.  How many psychotic killers are now “demonstrating” outside of Starbuck just waiting for their ex-girlfriend to show up?  That alarms me.

Thanks to Llana for the heads up.