Louie!  Dammit.  There are no welfare Cadillacs.

Louie Gohmert comes down on the side of cutting SNAP funds because he has heard something really important.

The Texas congressman complained that Democrats had portrayed Republicans as evil because they supported a measure to cut nearly 2 million low-income people off the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, which would mainly impact working families with children.

On the other hand, Gohmert said, poor people were using food stamps to buy food that other Americans could not afford. He claimed his “broken-hearted” constituents had repeatedly told him they had seen people use food stamps to buy king crab legs.

First off, there is no repeatedly.  You live in Tyler, Texas.  The Piggly Wiggly in Tyler, Texas, does not carry king crab legs and even if they did, they would probably not be safe to eat.  Nobody in their right mind would buy king crab legs at the Tyler Texas Piggly Wiggly twice.

Second off, your constituents would not be “broked-hearted” if they did in fact see something like that.  They would be blazing mad and break at least six of the ten commandments right there on the spot.  Broken-hearted, my sweet patootie.  Louie, you can go to hell for lying the same as you can for stealing.

Third off, you have king crab legs in Tyler but you don’t have cell phone cameras?

Fourth off, shut the hell up.  All that corporate welfare that you just love buys yachts for CEO’s and stockholders while the rest of us can barely afford the gas to get to Piggly Wiggly.

You’re a jerk, Louie.