Did I Read That Right?
Highway 91 between Midland and Odessa is where bad people go when they die.
Seriously, the devil lives there.
There’s a church there who claims to be all about love. It’s called the Southwest Baptist Church. Over to the right is a picture of the pastor and his family. I have seen a smile before and, Honey, his wife ain’t smiling. That’s gritting her teeth. That right there is a desperate plea for help.
Anyway, this Baptist Church claims to be all about love, love, love.
Yep. So they put up this sign that I suspect is meant to be an instruction manual on how to love.
Okay, the way I read that, I can’t do the wild thing with a man.
Bubba is gonna be real disappointed.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
Think I’ll have shrimp and oysters for lunch. You?
1You are reading that all wrong, it says you’ve got to tell the truth to a guy but its ok to fib a bit if you are talking to a woman. Oh wait, that’s no good either is it?
He also left off the part about the shellfish, or is that selfish? I get so confused.
2First of all, any church needing a sign that big has got problems. Secondly, they need to take this up with the Head Honcho who created heteros the way they are and gays the way they are. In the meantime, spend the money that monstrosity cost on the poor, sick and elderly.
3And about killing your mother in law.
4I do hope she’s not wearing cotton and some other fabric together. Pretty sure this guy works on the Sabbath, too – that’s a stoning crime.
Ahhhh….cherry-pickin’.
5Someone needs to tell that pastor that there’s a second book in the series, a sequel, in which the whole plot changes completely. Pretty sure there’s been a couple movie versions too (so helpful to those who have problems with reading comprehension), although to my mind the movies place too much emphasis on the gory bit at the end, and not enough on the Sermon on the Mount, which is, after all, the whole and entire point of the thing.
6Make mine a bacon cheese burger.
I’ll bet she doesn’t get to spend a week every month set apart down by the river either. Which is too bad, because she looks like she could use the break.
7Like my cousin who used to be married to a preacher said, “Once when we were on our way to church I saw someone riding a bike and I thought ‘Oh, they get TWO days off in their weekend’.” I’m not knocking preachers but that lady needs a break. Believe me. I had a bunch of little ones close together. I know what I’m talking about.
8It looks as if they’ve been married only about five years and follow the Catholic teachings on contraception. She is definitely gritting her teeth and wondering how many years she will get for cutting off his winkie and if it’s worth it to get away from all those kids.
9Cheryl, once used the mixed the fibers of your clothing thing at a rally for the ERA years ago when I was confronted by a Bible thumper. He was blown away and I kept on walking elegantly with my pro ERA placard held high.
10Another Levitican follower.
Good Grief.
11So the Bible says lesbians are A-okay? Who knew…
12There was a Mennonite near Belleville, PA with that same quote on a sign out by the highway—- about 20 years ago.
13Note that the billboard advice is directed to men only since it’s not worth bothering to try to educate the womenfolk.
14Doesn’t say anything about woman on woman…
15@Deb – I agree, I think the sign says it’s OK to tell lies to women. When I was in college a friend bought a book advertised in the back of a mens magazine, titled something like “101 Lines Guaranteed to Pickup Women.” They ranged from “Didn’t I meet you in Istanbul?” to Weren’t you Miss Ohio of 1970?” (this was in the early ’70’s) Every line was a sweet little lie – – and not one you’d try on your men friends if you wanted to borrow a record, or $5, or his copy of a Vonnegut book.
16Y’all, the caption under the picture at the website says “Grand children really are grand”. Grandmother’s face is saying something rather different.
Pastor Verl R Gunter says “Southwest Baptist Church is becoming a place where people find friends, acceptance and love…” Um… no, Pastor Verl, that’s not what your billboard says. Your large billboard with the big letters on it. That’s out there for all the world to see. I think we can figure out which one is the truth. And it’s not your website.
17Oh, and LynnN, I caught that too.
18That poor woman obviously has a serious case of constant postpartum depression, and is gritting her teeth in order to stave off the urge to throttle that homely SOB who keeps knocking her up against her will.
19Oh, honey-child, that book ain’t even talking to YOU. You wimmen-folk ain’t supposed to be readin’ no-how; just do what those pastor fellows and your own husband tell you and it all will be AOK. And watch that there a-mixin’ of polyester and cotton!
And now, feeling vapourish from too much sarcasm and bad accent reproduction, I’m going to lay down and suck back a bloody mary with a bacon swizzle stick.
20Drat!! No Facebook page……
21Tell Bubba to buy an extra razor.
22The signs are all over southwest Missouri too. Must be a southern baptist thing.
23Has anyone ever heard one of these so-called “christians” quote Jesus? Anyone? Anyone at all?
24Anyone can quote. It’s the imitating that impresses me. Like where Jesus says go and do likewise? That one. Of course look where it got Him.
25If Jesus Christ showed back up tomorrow the Rethugs would kill Him again as quick as they could. Dam’ subversive, progressive, trouble-making, rabble-rousing, people-loving Socialist is what that guy is! They really like that eye for an eye Yahweh out of the old testament; the One who kept sending prophets to explain the message again because they didn’t get it?
They still don’t get it.
26I always like the scene from West Wing where Pres Bartlett does a whole Leviticus thing on a dr. laura clone.
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