At a time when many cities are doing gun buyback programs, Texas ain’t having that crap.

Hell, we are giving those suckers away!

Strain’s northwest Houston community of Oak Forest is the first neighborhood in the country being trained and equipped by the Armed Citizen Project, a Houston nonprofit that is giving away free shotguns to single women and residents of neighborhoods with high crime rates.

Residents of Oak Forest say their neighborhood, made up of older one-story houses and a growing number of new townhomes, has experienced a recent rash of driveway robberies and home burglaries.

So, here’s the deal.  This neighborhood has had a rash of driveway robberies.  Most driveway robbers are very uncooperative with allowing you to open the trunk and get your shotgun.  And, as anyone knows, toting a loaded and unlocked  shotgun when you exit the driver’s seat of your car is an entertaining circus trick.  The would-be robber will be so taken with you trying to exit your vehicle while untangling your shotgun from the steering wheel and bashing it against the side of the door that they will leave in gales of laughter figuring anybody that stupid ain’t gonna have any money. And, in that way, this program would probably be effective.

The only way I see a shotgun possibly working in a driveway robbery is that you have someone riding … well, shotgun.  Oh Lord, bless us, we’re back to stage coaches.

By definition, most burglaries mean that nobody is at home.  If somebody is at home, it’s generally a robbery.  So, unless you have trained the dog or your sofa to use a shotgun, you’re gonna save plenty on ammo.

The biggest problem with this plan is the Yahoo! factor.  People with shotguns are more apt to take risks.  They are during so damn anxious to be the Rifleman that they will more than likely shoot a neighbor’s uncle coming out to help carry in the groceries.

Free shotguns!  What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.