Most of The Time

February 05, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Goat Rodeos

Juanita Jean likes cowboys.  So, when Hank Gilbert decided to re-enter politics, she was pleased.  But then Hank couldn’t decide what horse to ride, who was in charge of paying the band, or who his dance partner is.  It was a goat rodeo.

Hank finally decided on running for ag commission.  It did not commence well.  It was kinda like he was rared up and ready stumble.

“It’s gonna take a faith healer, a voodoo doll, and a 20 car prayer meeting to get this guy’s campaign back on track,” Juanita moans.  “After today, it appears the hoedown is over.”

We got a proud email from Hank yesterday announcing grandly that he had the endorsement of National Farmers Union President Roger Johnson.  “Why, maybe Hank’s back in the saddle,” we thought out loud.

Come to find out this morning, not so much.

National Farmers Union President Roger Johnson said he didn’t endorse Hank Gilbert for Texas agriculture commissioner as a recent Gilbert campaign release stated.

Johnson met with the Democratic contender last week at an Abilene convention but said he didn’t give him an endorsement. He said he was not endorsing anyone, either as an individual or the head of an organization. The National Farmers Union doesn’t endorse state candidates.

Oh, crap.

Gilbert’s campaign attempted made matters worse with a bean dip dumb comment:  “We made a mistake,” he said. “We’ve had so many endorsements over the last week that we confused one.”

“Well, see, that confuses me,” Juanita says, “because I didn’t get blazing colors emails about the others.”

“He’s throwing us into Kinky Friedman’s arms,” Juanita moans, “and, Honey, there have been some things in Kinky’s arms that require an environmental impact study just to move across the room.  I’m not overly anxious to be there, but at least he seems to know what he’s doing most the time.”

I suspect she heard me snort.  “I said MOST!” she reiterated.

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