May 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
We are driving home from Austin but you have to stop what you’re doing andread this right now..
Louie Gohmert said that Eric Holder is doing something weird.
The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus,” said Gohmert, in a malapropism for the ages.
It’s hard to post from my iPhone but I really don’t need to. I honestly can’t think of anything to say.
Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
Check out Gohmert in the urbandictionary! LOL
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gohmert
Dear God, he even gives asparagus a bad name!! I hope his friggen head explodes!!
1Just reading the comments posted to the Huffington Post are worth it.
2Dang, if only that had gone on a couple more minutes we might have gotten Louie all the way poo flinging.
3Jargonaphasia! Should be renamed Louie Gohmert syndrome,
4He’s a Marxist! Groucho Marx specifically.
5Bless his heart. Now any time I find out someone is from east Texas I check to see if he/she is from Gohmert’s district. How does he keep getting elected?
6Aspersions can sometimes be bitter. Perhaps blanched almonds.
7Next time Eric Holder sits down to a dinner where asparagus is served, he’ll glance in the direction of those green spears, maybe squint his eyes a little, and people will laugh until tears stream down their cheeks.
8Louie Gohmert will never touch the stuff, ever again.
Wow. He really must be mentally ill. It’s really funny to hear the ridiculous things he says, but it’s also scary as he** to me. It leaves me speechless, and I’m generally considered the “mouth” in my family!
9Here is a Youtube video of the whole wonderful thing. It is must see TV!
http://youtu.be/GZNciYuclDU
10Wow, just wow.
I think Louie is waltzing with Madame Alzheimer.
11He is such a Gohmert! *facepalm*
12Total amazement at whoever came up with the famous story “video” that was supposed have caused Ben Gause to occur.
Now that was an obvious lie told where the truth would have been much better. Bout like “The dog ate my homework”
13I haven’t been feeling well this week, or maybe I’m just really old, but does anybody know what Louie may have been trying to say with his limited vocabulary? I know Louie doesn’t have the vaguest idea. In fact, I’m stunned that he even knows the word “aspersions.” But what the heck does asparagus have to do with anything?
14Do we have a State Fool? You know, to rank up there with the mockingbird, bluebonnet, pecan tree and side oats gramma? I believe we have just the candidate.
15Maybe Louie doesn’t have much of a cucumber and decided to go with what he did have.
16O.M.G. You can’t fix stupid.
17Is this some sort of weird phallic symbol/Freudian slip?
Why is it green?
18@Marcia, I am laughing so hard at your Urban Dictionary definitions of “gohmert”. “Dude, don’t be such a gohmert!” Thanks for the link.
19JJ, When he’s up for reelection can we get T-shirts?
The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.
20Louie’s district is up around Tyler.
Does his district also include Rusk?
You know, where they have the State Mental Hospital.
Just wondering. Might explain a lot.
21Rubymay I have been pondering same! Assertions? Asserevations? Ass? As in “look here you witness of color, you ain’t gonna be allowed to cast no aspersions on MY ass!”
22Still pondering. The man IS an a$$!
Aspersions! I think, funny meme at https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=195109493974165&set=a.141321052686343.32762.141311609353954&type=1&theater
23Ok, misread the quote at top. Still have no Idea what the asparagus is. Sigh, going back to bed. Still not use to being off night shift.
24You know lindy, it IS Looney Louie we r talking about here! Maybe he thought Holder was stepping on his lines by casting his own aspersions on LOUIE’s previously cast aspersions! I mean, not just everybody has “personal privilege,” you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere!
I’m feeling fair to partly cloudy this morning, it rained last night and I am off to pick some REAL asparagus, dangit! And y’all can just go ahead and cast any old aspersions you want! Especially on Louie!
25Poor Louie was referring to the vegetative state of his brain. You all are just a bunch of radishal liberals.
26The old East Side Kids / Bowery Boys films featured one Muggs McGinnis who was constantly providing us with marvelous malapropisms. There was another character on it named Louie who ran the malt shop that the boys hung out in and he had some doozies too. So maybe what Gohmert was doing was auditioning for one of these role in a phantasy remake of the entire series.
As for what he was attempting to say, I suspect it was a word totally unrelated to asparagus — character. And what he meant to say was he wouldn’t allow anyone to cast asparagus at his character. One thing for sure is that Gohmert is a character.
27Over and over again, I keep thinking how much fun Molly Ivins could have had with this dipstick.
28“The only observation I was going to make is that you state as a matter of fact what the FBI did and did not do. Unless somebody has done something inappropriate, you don’t have access to the FBI files,” said Holder. “I know what the FBI did. You cannot know what I know. That’s all.”
This one part of all this that grabbed me. Surely nobody in Congress has done anything “inappropriate”.
29If ya’ll really want to know what Louie was talking about, I mean what he really, really meant to say, you have to take a drive.
30Start in Lufkin and, staying off US 59, go north all the way to Gilmer. Stop at every gravel driveway accessed gas station and ask the tobacco chewing, booger picking, no shirt dude in bib overalls what Louie said.
That guy elected him over and over again.
I yam ignorant about his asparagus, but Louie is a lemon and his celery is far too generous. Texas Democrats, do us a fava and turnip someone who can beet him in the next election. Someone a little more sage, stays currant, and can squash him for the has-bean he is.
Lettuce hope that Louie’s capers stay fruitless. I’ll be cress-fallen if they don’t. Then again, if he can’t keep the authorities at bay, it may not be long dill he’s collard by the law.
31Here, eyesoars, take this Internet. You won it, fair and square. 🙂 🙂 🙂
32Eyesoars, you take the cake!
33Maybe he meant cast aspersions on MY aspersions. “I’ll do the aspersion casting around here!”
We’re not casting aspersions, Louie, we’re flat out saying it:
YOU LIE!
eyesoars, I bow to the master, while adding: may Louie’s career rest in peas. A leek of his psych eval may prove he’s bananas. He and Cruz really make a pear. Thank you berry much for the inspiration, and your rye humor.
34The Rude Pundit and Louie Gohmert, a classic for all times!
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
35We come not to praise Louie, but to berry him.
36TexasEllen for the game winner!
37How do you cast aspertions on asparagus?
38But… did he calumniate his cauliflower?
39I think he meant “assertions”, not aspergus…
40But good for a laugh
Read the article about Louie’s exchange with Holder. He said that the FBI was after Billy and Franklin Graham. Once again Louie is wrong. It’s the IRS after the Grahams. Franklin Graham has written a letter to the President objecting to Billy Graham’s organizations being audited by the IRS. Perhaps Franklin should read the IRS pamphlet on churches maintaining their 501(c)(3) status. Specifically it forbids the following:
41â– they must not devote a substantial part of their
activities to attempting to influence legislation,
â– they must not participate in, or intervene in, any
political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to)
any candidate for public office
In this country we have separation of church and state. With being tax exempt there are responsibilities for maintaining that relationship. Don’t get me wrong, the Grahams are great men, but they must abide by the same rules as everyone else.
Be kind. And also know, if you attacked the old boy, he knew of which he spoke. Do a bit of research on the phrase. Be kind, are we not the tolerant ones?
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