Thanks to Harold Cook for the knock upside the head.  This story came from The Daily Currant, which is like The Onion.  Dayum, it sounded so much like Michele that I just had to use it.  Which just goes to show, you cannot parody Michele Bachman.  She is parody-proof.  I need to remember that.

Michele Bachmann is a tad peeved over Minnesooota passing marriage equality.

She is so upset, in fact, that she’s thinking of moving to Oregon.  Oregon?  Is she serious?

And does she think marriage equality in Minnesooota will cause people to become upset?  Not really.  It’s more like —

“I don’t know what it will be, Bruce,” she said. “It could be an earthquake. It could be a volcano. It could be some sort of flesh eating virus. All I know is that God does not let homosexuality go unpunished, and Minneapolis is next in line for his wrath.”

Holy crap!  A volcano in Minneapolis!  Hell, I’d move to Minnesooota just to see that.  That would probably be pretty cool.

When they asked her why other states who approved marriage equality haven’t had volcanoes and flesh eating viruses and whatnot, she said “it’s only a matter of time.”  Well hell, Michele, in 20 million years the sun will burn out and prove your sweet patootie right.

And I’m not sure about this but I think she’s forming a wagon train.

“It breaks my heart to think that the Democrats are willing to play politics with the lives of so many Minnesotans. And I hate to leave so many of my constituents behind, but I urge them – please, please – follow my example and get your loved ones to safety before it’s too late.”

She forgot to add the part about getting your husband outta town before he gets a boyfriend.  That’s just a matter of time, too.

Thanks to Rachel for the heads up.