.

“I knew it would come to this,” Juanita is enraged.  “You let Republican women into politics and the next thing you know, they’re all cosmetologists.”

It appears that Carly Fiorina is the new Republican Women’s Brigade Fashion Expert.

“Or, so she thinks,” Juanita rolls her eyes.

WASHINGTON – Caught on an open mic as she was getting ready to go on CNN Wednesday, California’s new Republican senatorial nominee, Carly Fiorina, may have set a new record for most catty remarks per minute.

She repeatedly questioned her fellow Republican Meg Whitman’s “bizarre” decision to be interviewed by Fox host Sean Hannity and cracked herself up by mocking the physical appearance of her Democratic opponent, incumbent Sen. Barbara Boxer.

Boxer’s hairstyle, Fiorina laughed, is “so yesterday.”

“Let me tell you what is so yesterday,” Juanita begins.  “Stealing Hillary Clinton’s 1998 haircut.  That is yesterday, Honey.”

“Bless your heart, Carly, you poor dear.  If the worse you can say about your political opponent is that her hairdo is not to your liking, then you need to hang it up and go run for prom queen.”

“Okay, so here’s the deal.  All you girlfriends out there, let’s remind ourselves what is at stake here.  Our role as women is at stake here.  That’s too important a matter to be left to amateur cosmetologist wannabes like Carly Fiorina.”

“So, haul your rumps out in public today and make all the snide comments you can about Carly’s choice in shoes and her total lack of ability to accessorize. ”

“Carly has set the bar for this race and it’s our duty to uphold  her strong commanding example of American women’s leadership.”  (I hope you can hear the Star Spangled Banner in the background that Juanita is playing while she stands on her handy two step ladder.)

Thelma answer the call.

“Where’s Carly think she’s going in those Minnie Mouse shoes?” she shouts.

Verdelia joins in, “She can eat apples through a picket fence.”

“She ain’t got no butt.  You cannot be a United States Senator without a butt,” Buck throws out there to total silence.

“Well, it true,” he says.

“Buck, go back to fixing that sink and leave the high level political discussion to the women,” Juanita warns.