Exactly Whose Side Are You On, John?
Texas Senior Senator John Cornyn, who has been sissy-whipped by Texas Junior Senator The Amazing Ted and His Bubbling Mouth, has gone all out on them damn illegals. I mean, if you ain’t working up a good lather of hate, then you ain’t senatoring very well.
Catch this twitter —
.
So, the Dallas Morning News is wondering where the heck this breach in our border is happening. If your thinking mechanism is functioning properly, and you’re actually wanting to stop this security risk, you’d think that as a senator of the United Damn States of America, you’d call somebody at border patrol and report one place where there’s a nightly makings of a good size tent revival coming into the United States.
John Cornyn
The border is 2,000 miles long, so if John could narrow that down a little bit by telling us where 110,000 people are coming across, that would be helpful.
And there’s even speculation that John is just making this up.
I know, shocking. A Texas Republican trying to rouse up hate and fear based on something that isn’t happening? Shoc …. No, wait. I didn’t mean shocking. I meant habitual. Slip of the tongue, you know.
So the Dallas Morning News has asked John for the name of his “friend” or at least the location of this nightly deluge.
The senator declined to identify the friend during his weekly call with Texas reporters but said he lives in “South Texas.”
U.S. Customs and Border Protection has previously defined “South Texas” as running from the tip of Texas to the Del Rio area, spanning eight border counties and three patrol sectors.
Well, that narrows it down to 1,241 miles, which certainly makes it a lot easier. So, I guess we need to ask John to meet us in Brownsville and start walking to El Paso, with John saying “hotter, you’re getting hotter” as we near the border crossing parade, and “colder, you’re getting colder” if we wake up one morning and start walking the wrong direction.
I give him one mile outside of Brownsville to spill the beans. If, of course, there are any beans.
My bet is that the only beans are in John’s head.
Thanks to David for the heads up.
Ooga-booga!
1I think it’s thoughtful of a member of the lunatic fringe to wear fringe.
2I think JJ needs to encourage this sort of spewing from the Texas Rethugs. It’ll just make TX go bluer a lot sooner.
3Location, location, location. He has built-in foot traffic of 300 potential customers every night and he hasn’t figured out a way to make a profit selling bottled water and Red Bull. Somebody needs a lesson in capitalism.
4300 a night, that’s 9000 a month, or 468,000 illegals a year? I would think the headline should read, “Senator John Cornyn allows 468,000 illegals a year into Texas.”
5I cannot top Ralph and Rick.
6I get my daily belly laugh from JJ’s Texas humor. This one hit my funny bone more than usual…
Since a Texas senator has claimed 300 ppl pass over his friend’s land every night, Arizona will have to find someone to beat that record & the race will be on. Senators over the age of 40 really shouldn’t be tweeting… exposing their idiocy around the world.
7JJ: Now we know where Obama’s sending troops returning from Afghanistan. Let’s see now… 64,000 troops over 1241 Texas miles = 17 troops per shift per night. Arizona, eat your heart out!! Calls for old-fashioned wrangling between Perry & Brewer.
8You’d think that someone on Cornholio’s staff would have explained to him that he looks like Howdy Doody in that photo. What a bozo.
9Hey, if Sen. Cornyn sez it, you can take it to the bank. No doubt his buddy sat out there night after night, counting off with his clicker each and every one of those illegals skulking across his land.
Ain’t that right, Senator? … Senator? … Senator? …
Oh, there you are, hiding in the Joe McCarthy Memorial Senate Broom Closet! And look who’s in there with you – 81 of Joe’s leftover Communists in the State Department.
10Hey, I’m sorry, but Rick’s math is a little off.
11(Went to school in Texas, I guess.)
Three hundred a night makes 365 X 300 a year,
or 109, 500 total.
And I went to school in West Virginia.
Maybe when he is confronted, his excuse will be butt tweeting.
12GS, Rick just multiplied by 52 weeks per year instead of 12 months per year (which would have yielded 108,000, 5 days short of your answer). He’s well on his way to performing legislative (outlandish, inflated) statistics if he’s not careful.
13His friend is a Bridge Troll living under the border crossing at Laredo. He is also secret friends with Fairies , who gave him the outfit in that picture…..
14Yup, I did get my weeks and months mixed up. Thanks GS Herscher & SusanF, especially SusanF. I don’t need a job, but maybe I should apply at the Bureau of Not Quite Big Enough Statistics. I’d start by asking them to pay me 52 months a year!
15Rick is always so spot on that I figured he was poking fun at Cornyn’s extensive math skills… or not. Cornyn may have mistakenly added an extra zero or two – happens to old geezers who tweet.
16It’s all bigger in Texas… including the caca.
17richmx2, you have definitely amused this woman in Maryland.
18And the august senator says “sez”?
Coolio Cornyn!
Pasty-pink DJ Cornyio, rappah. You go gib dem libruls hell, Cornyio!
19Given Mexico’s improving economy and decreased birthrate is Cornyn sure that all the traffic is coming our way?
20I figure the stats are standard Republican approach (which is not to bother with facts, but tell a story instead). Or in other words…the fish story, where with each retelling the size and fight in that minnow grows in leaps and bounds.
21I’m still laughing about “the lunatic fringe wearing fringe.”
22