Duct Tape Paradise
Okay, this is actually happening in North Carolina.
North Carolina Republican state Rep. Tim Moore says that women can protect themselves from a new law that makes baring female breasts illegal by simply applying duct tape to their nipples.
On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”
Yeah, Buddy, and let me watch as you untape your two private parts after wearing Bermuda shorts to Yoga class.
There is, as you would suspect, a story behind this.
Almost a year ago, some women held a topless festival in Asheville. There were almost a dozen ta-tas taking in some sunshine and letting the puppies out to play. A dozen, I tell you. Almost a year ago. Hasn’t happened since.
But since outrage is far more of an aphrodisiac than ta-tas in most Republican homes, the bill even had a co-sponsor. It was a woman representative from 100 miles away who was afraid of the dreaded ta-ta domino theory. Yeah, because if Asheville has a dozen bare chest one time, can Durham be far behind with maybe 14 chests a couple years from now? Let’s make it a felony! Let’s stop this ta-ta invasion!
The story behind the guy who came to my yoga class in Bermuda shorts is just gross so I’ll spare you that. But, if I had a roll a duct tape ….
Thanks to Carl for the heads up and for being our regional ta-ta correspondent.
My god! I cringed, I actually *cringed*! What the H*LL are these people thinking?!? {{Note to self: Get daughter out of North Carolina and never, ever, ever go back.}}
1for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”
So if you bare your breasts for your own comfort, that’s legal. But if you do it to get men all hot and bothered, that’s a crime.
How are they going to decide the motive?
And whose desire has to be gratified, his or hers?
I’m confused.
2Yet no laws yet against men with really hairy backs and low hanging shorts— mowing lawns with no shirt on?
3Shades of Sharia. I remember a story of a woman in the Middle East who was dressed properly in fully concealing clothing and veil (don’t remember if it was a face-covering one). She was approached by a man who had been ACROSS THE STREET who something like said, “Sister, too much of your wrist is showing. It is an affront and might incite lustful thoughts in men.” She was terrified, because just the accusation of indecent dress was a whipping offense at minimum. Proof of the “offense” could be stoning and the women were not allowed to defend themselves or have legal representation in any proceedings. She was also outraged that he was obviously LOOKING for violations to pick on something so trivial from such a distance. She immediately posted her protest of his behavior online when she got home where it got echoed by women’s rights groups, which is how I came to hear of it.
“Purpose of arousing sexual desire” is a trap. Some people get aroused by shooting automatic weapons. Can we ban those under the same law?
4this is simply absolut stupidity. these folks need to get a job and shut the hell up!
5@ SusanF, if a man gets lustful thoughts from seeing a completely-covered woman’s wrist, it takes a twisted mind to think it’s her fault. Some of these men need to be on medication, or more likely not let out of the house (at least not without a female relative’s permission).
6My attitude…besides the what a chauvinistic attitude…is what’s good for the goose should be same for the gander. Mr. Representative, even men baring their chests should have to tape up their nipples or be found to be exposing “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”
America is looney tunes, thanks you Puritanical founders, when it comes to one’s body. Mama you may be upset with me, but – did you know that calling someone a Cunt or Yoni in older cultures was actually a sign of respect for the divine feminine, you know source of creation and fertility? Sigh. Patriarchal, hypocritical, power-mongering jerks. Get off my planet or evolve!
7The big boobs in this fiasco are the bill’s sponsors.
8Is this guy afraid of seeing something for free he usually has to pay to see?
9Now I know why the craft stores have all that ADORABLE duct tape in all those pretty designs………
10If you haven’t put duct tape on your hand, try it. I imagine it would pull off the top layer of tender areas.
11There is no part of a woman’s anatomy that Reps don’t obsess over.
12Wouldn’t it make more sense to punish the people who are actually aroused? And I’m guessing most of them wouldn’t have breasts.
Clean mind, clean body. Take your pick.
13I’m sure all those gays caused all that trouble……yeah, that’s it………it’s the cause of all the problems with the straight population………doncha kno?……:)Idiots obviously abound everywhere…………..Nipples??? It’s a crime to see nipples now? who knew? Do bare chested men also have to duct up their sexual arousal goodies? Wow….what complete insanity ………….givin’ me da vapors!!
14The Constitution requires Equal Protection so this law has to apply to everyone equally, so men can’t mow the lawn without a shirt!
For really big LOL, read comments to the story… examples:
If titties are outlawed, only outlaws will have titties.
15Oh, please protect me from nipples. Have you ever caught one in the eye? Horrible!
Not the eye, but between my lips. Not so horrible.
Understand many have been killed [by nipples].
Count me among the walking wounded.
Use nipple replica pasties.
Flashback:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_for_Indecency_to_Naked_Animals
16Stewart, Colbert & Maddow gotta love the GOP’s Crazy Corral cause it just keeps on giving them material for their shows. Now if this bill was proposed & sponsored by liberals, Rush & Glenn would have a field day, too. It’s all about LIBERTY, don’t cha know?!
17Update: Suitably embarrassed by the media attention they earned, the NC Republican House leadership on Valentine’s Day recognized that this bill was a bad idea whose time has come. It has been sent back to committee, presumably to languish and die. As a number of article commenters tartly observed in the Raleigh News and Observer, now the Republican legislators can get back to work on their campaign platform, which is creating jobs.
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