Oh, Thank You God That It Wasn’t Texas This Time
Some of my less-than-Baptist friends do not believe me when I talk about speaking in tongues, snake handling, and foot washing being part of any good tent revival in Texas.
I do not know what kind of special relationship that Pentecostal ministers have with snakes, but it’s gotta be something phallic. But, at least time time it’s Tennessee and Kentucky.
An eastern Kentucky pastor wants Tennessee wildlife officials to return five venomous snakes confiscated in Knoxville.
Gregory Coots, who’s known as Jamie Coots, is pastor of at the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name Church in Middlesboro. Coots handles the snakes as part of worship services.
His name is Coots and he worships something that likes snakes. You know you want to know more.
He says he bought them in Aladamnbama for $800. and was toting them to Kentucky where he has a snake permit but the police stopped him in Tennessee for having his windows tinted too dark and lo and behold – snakes. In boxes.
Coots says he can replace the snakes but he wants the boxes the snakes were in back. He says they have sentimental value.
I don’t even want to know. And if you find out why his snake boxes have sentimental value, do no tell me. I do not want to know and I have no intention of asking Jesus when I get to the sweet by and by either.
Thanks to Hippie in the Hollar for the heads up.
A friend worked at a city-funded center for puppetry. The center was sometimes visited by home-schoolers, because the state required that home-schooled children participate for a certain number of hours in “enrichment” activities.
My friend said some of these kids came in not knowing how to use paste or scissors.
Anyhow, the kids arrived, and the project was to make an animal puppet. One child asked the instructor, “Can I make a snake puppet?”
“Yes,” he replied. “You can make any kind of animal puppet you want.”
The child said, “That’s good, because we’re going to have snakes at church tonight.”
1Are the snakes sentimental too?
2Gregory Coots, known as Jamie Coots? What’s wrong with Gregory, the name of my ever-loving son?
Anyway, back to the point, which is sometimes religion can get a little divorced from common sense.
3Ugh. This makes me shiver all over. I want to know what’s hidden in that box of sentimental value. You know, I bet you could write a book or song or something about this whole thing. And re: home schooled kids, some parents do a really good job. Others oughta love their kids enough to send them to public school or even private school. I remember once when I was a Sunday school teacher we talked about Earth Day and the home schooled kids had never heard of it. Probably against their religion.
4$800 for 5 snakes? There’s good money in that business! Probably don’t get enough repeat customers though…
5If I were a law enforcement type I’d take a real close look at those boxes. I wonder if snakes isn’t the only smuggling that Coot(s) is up to!
6In my state – Kentucky – you have to have a permit to have a snake?!?! Who knew? Another example of the regulations taking away our liberties. Somebody tell Rand Paul!
7Someone robbed the PetSmart in Waco at knifepoint today of…..yep…..four snakes. OK, they were non-venomous, but in a pinch, when tonight is Wednesday-go-to-meetin’-night, it just could be the some revival was a little short on the slithering faith-attestors.
8The box probably had a picture of Rand Paul so the snakes would feel at home.
9Guess Brother Coots didn’t know that we still have Rattlesnake Roundups in Georgia. He could have come over and collected his own, out in the wild, and saved the money.
10Ah yes, the old “window tint” stop. I know PA state police person who says that they have no way to tell if a window tint is legal or not but that anyone who has majorly tinted windows “must” have something to hide because no one ever disputes that charge.
11If I were Tennessee officials, I’d ignore this nutbag. Probably doesn’t have an attorney among his parishioners. But, who knows. Or, he could go to south Florida where they’re trying to capture those really, really big snakes. Would love to see him praise the Lord with one of those.
12Best snake story I heard was about a pair of evangelicals who knocked on the door of a man who had a number of snakes and some scorpions in terrariums. He invited the men in. He asked them if they believed every word of the Bible was true. Oh, yes. He borrowed a copy from them and read out the verse about true believers being able to handle snakes and scorpions without harm. Then he asked them to reach into any terrarium, their choice, and hand him the inhabitant. They would not. So he told them that he saw no reason to believe in their religion when they didn’t, and had them leave.
13Of course he had to drive them home. Everyone knows you can’t take snakes on a plane.
(Sorry, it’s been a long day and that’s the bestest I got.)
14Made the local news here. Seems they profiled the feller a while back.
http://www.wdbj7.com/news/wdbj7-serpents-20121115,0,6863718.story
15With the congregation that this guy surely has, why does he need more venomous snakes?
16With all that “faith”, you’d think his little church would be one of those great big ol magachurches by now! I’ve always had trouble with that word, “faith”. Now I think I know why……………..snakes?…………….please! But I have been to Tennessee, Knoxville even. “Nuff” said.
17The hubs taught religion for a while. The alphabet soup after his name gives him the credentials. When he showed a video (OK, so it was in the olden days and a film, not video) on snake handlers to his American religion class he said the students, to a person, ducked when the preacher threw the snakes, seemingly at the camera, into the congregation. I never watched the film. Snakes are my phobia and I’m quite content to keep it that way.
18I’m sure when Saint Mark wrote about snake handling, he had no reservations (pardon the pun) thinking surely no fool would actually do it. If I have to handle snakes to prove my faith, well hell (pardon the pun), I’m doomed.
19Got stuck in Murfreesboro, Tennessee with car trouble once..
20Longest four hours of my life!
Somehow, those church snakes turn into people out there!
(Wonder how many people drive into town- and disappear?)
Creepiest place I have Never been back to..
Hey, the Kentucky snakeboy is crazee and the Tennessee snakepeople are crazee as well! I think the most snakepeople are in Georgia, South Carolina and the like.
Tennessee has more than its fair share of crazee, just like Texas – hell, we got gunz in barz, now going for gunz everywhere and we even have teachers being told to CHEAT by deleting kids’ grades in their PRIVATE “virtual academy” school which is where I think they keep the snakes~
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