And Here All This Time, I Thought Virginia Was For Lovers

February 05, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

They take canoodlin’ real serious in Virginia.

While Virginia is making cohabitation legal, there’s other stuff they are not taking off the books.

And don’t even think of doing other stuff. Virginia’s “crimes against Nature” statute — Section 18.2-361 — still prohibits oral sex. Even between married straight couples.

It’s a felony.

Also, you’re not allowed to have s-e-x of any kind in your car.  Or go to a bawdy house.

In Texas, you cannot get frisky with animals.  Virginia appears to be more opened minded about that.

Cussin’ is a misdemeanor in Virginia.  Hell, sometimes lettin’ loose is worth the fine.

Did I ever tell y’all about my friend Ben Denham who punched a guy straight in the nose and then went and turned himself in to the Justice of the Peace to pay the fine?  The guy he punched needed punchin’ so badly that the JP himself offered to pay the $250 fine.  Nah, Ben wanted to pay it.  It was a matter of pride to him.  Well, word got around and damn near everybody in town volunteered to pay the fine.  There ensued large arguments over who got to pay the fine until the guy up and left town in the middle of the night for fear that everybody would rather part with hard earned money than look at his face.  I do not know what they has to do with sparkin’ in Virginia  but sometimes breaking the law is worth paying for.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “And Here All This Time, I Thought Virginia Was For Lovers”


  1. daChipster says:

    So long as there is marriage, they won’t need laws against oral sex.

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  2. I was expecting you to say that more people decided that it was worth $250 to punch this guy….

    If you have oral sex with the shades down, or sex in your car in the garage with the door shut, who’s to know?

    Mark Twain: Swearing can sometimes afford a relief denied even to prayer. — If angry, count to ten. If very angry, swear.

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  3. HaHaHaHa – daChipster. Good one.

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  4. As usual, Virginia ignores the decisions of the Supreme Court. Since a majority of the Justices live there, I can’t quite imagine why.

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  5. Maybe they are acting on the principle that forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. I mean, what fun is sex if the government approves of it?

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  6. What marvelous ignorance of human biology and nature.

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  7. If the NRA would tie sex to guns, there would be at least a dozen loopholes slipped into that VA law.

    Better tell VA teenagers since ignorance of the law is usually no excuse.

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  8. Can someone explain to me how what two (or more) people do in private is anyone else’s damn business?

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  9. Next time a teapuritan hollers Obama is a dictator, just holler back US House of Reprobates and Yes, Virginia!

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  10. Been in Virginia over 40 years. Remember when the legislature decided to clean off some 200 year old laws from the books. One of them was the way some people were classified, as in “idiots, women, children, slaves”. Heck, look who came first! Idiots were considered a little less trouble than women. Children and slaves were on their own. That stuff has been erased from the books but there are still a whole bunch of people here who still have it tatooed on their brains and behave accordingly: transvaginal ultrasounds, and all that.

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  11. Old Virginie is once again calling for secession. Following Utah’s 2011 law, Virginia’s state house voted 65-32 to move forward on establishing its own currency backed by gold – that is, if VA’s state senate agrees, of course.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/02/06/virginia-is-one-step-closer-to-returning-to-gold-standard/

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  12. Grace Newton says:

    What Maggie said. We have way too many stone headed politicians here in the Old Dominion. Some of the Virginia Counties are worse. For example in Stafford, the county where I live, a man can beat his wife on the courthouse steps but only before 8PM

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  13. LynnN, thank you very much. I just chocked on my brandy & coke. You hit the nail right on the head.

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  14. Elise Von Holten says:

    It’s been awhile since I was in Virginia, but outside the hotel we were staying at (my daughters school trip) there were plenty of people in cars proving that Virginia was for cheap lovers…my guess is that the backseat relationships are still popular!

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