Get Yourself a Cow and a Chicken or Two Because We’re Going Back to Subsistence Farming
Texas has a congresscritter named Jeb Hensarling who got himself a case of the Big Britches and thought he could go on television, sit next to Paul Krugman, and not coming out looking that he’d spent the night in the dishwasher.
Ole Jeb believes the sky is falling and we’re going to have to start eating Lisa Lou’s fifth grade class’s goldfish to stay alive.
“There are people who can’t even find jobs in cities who are having to move out, according to press reports, into rural areas to subsistence agriculture. That could be our future.”
Every time Jeb opens his mouth, the Nat Geo gets a new episode of Doomsday Preppers. For those who haven’t seen this show, it’s a cross between Hoarders and Extreme Couponing with a whole mess of heavy artillery mixed in.
Jeb tells people that every time they vote Democratic they might as well start tilling the ground and finding a cave to squat in. Jeb seems unnaturally happy about these events.
Well, Dr. Krugman, who has a tad better handle on reality than Ole Jeb, speaks up.
“If you actually look, all that talk we just heard about, you know, deficits and China and Greece, which is all nonsense, but all that talk about how we need to deal with this and ask, what is the Republican Party currently proposing? What have they actually put on the table? They put down some numbers, but what specifics?”
And you wanna know Ole Jeb’s answer to that? Well, it started out, “I’m rubber and you’re glue,” and then he went and spent the night in the dishwasher.
I know all you people from foreign states are cheering for Texas to secede. I know that. But if just our congressional delegation and the entire Bush family would secede, it’d help a whole lot.
Well, well, well…thanks JJ, I finally looked up ole Jeb’s district – Mom had been under Sessions but was gerrymandered into this lunatic’s district in 2010. Now, looking at the map, I see EXACTLY what they did-they took the “last of the rural areas (farms) around that part of Big D and then took a tiny BLUE area of Dallas and locked it in with people they have absolutely ZERO in common with – the last of the farmers. Mom just says, “hell, I don’t know how they did it but they did it”. So now, right in the big middle of Big D, not 5 miles from the closest Neiman Marcus at NorthPark (upscale old Dallas) have turned into a bunch of farmers from Buddyville~yep, time to rid Texas of GoodHair and the rest of the idiots~
1I think it would be enlightening to find out if ol’ Jeb has a clue about how much hard work, knowledge, and skill goes into subsistence farming. Does he have a garden? Chickens? Does he can everything from tomatoes to chili? When is the last time he butchered a calf? Could he feed himself for a month if I gave him a $100 gift certificate to Tractor Supply?
2Before the election, it became apparent that the attitude of the GOP was “I got mine; tough stuff about yours,” which applies to pension, social security, medical insurance, a home, college, you know–middle class Americana. Now they’ve started looking to the future with a nasty “I can’t wait to sit smug in my well-armed bunker and sneer ‘I told you so’ to all you libtards,” atttitude.
Is there a special word for this outlook that would get past the Momma Filter? The one I’m thinking of wouldn’t, and gleefully anticipatory schadenfreude is, well, just a little cumbersome.
3Hell, I’d move to Texas just to add my vote for secession. Then, I’d move back to Mexico where I have lived for six years.
4In California the radical right wants to get rid of all the immigrant farm workers and then have the unemployed take those jobs.
In other words, they want “people who can’t even find jobs in cities … having to move out, according to press reports, into rural areas to subsistence agriculture. That could be our future.”
5I wish Jeb Hensarling would call up some of his GOP cohorts and put out a year end “What the Dems are Gonna do to you in 2013” pamphlet. Like the National Enquirer and Star predictions for the coming year. I think those papers have a slightly less than 1% accuracy rate, I bet the GOP could beat them. And by beat them, I mean end up even more wrong by the time 2014 rolls around.
6Why does Jeb look like Alfred E. Neuman?
7He no longer has a nice smile, he really is not that photogenic, and his hair looks like…. h***.
And, the GOP put him on the teevee wth Paul Krugman???
They must truly be desperate.
If you really need to know,check Pinterest.com, on how to grow veggies in clay pots.
It isn’t that hard. If you live in a big city, forget the chickens. It’s probably against city ordinace.
But you can grow all kinds of stuff in your back patio, from onions, to squash, to tomatoes, in clay pots.
Oh heck, we all could survive Jeb and his bunch of crazies.
8Earlier today, I read a piece about whether or not it would be worthwhile to “gold plate” the electrical distribution system to avoid problems like those in the NYC area following Sandy and how that won’t protect us from the upcoming huge mother of all solar plasma ejection events suspected to take place in the first half of 2013 because it will generate a huge Electro Magnetic Pulse which will fry all the satellites that we rely upon to manage communications and that the only ONLY hope anyone has of surviving that is to disconnect from the power grid and go solar on site because even your emergency power generator will be fried.
I thought that was interesting because I know at least 3 Baby Doomers who have pretty much done that and they talk like the people who had fallout shelters during the Cuban missile crisis of the early 1960’s. But the one across the creek from me — who has pigs and chickens and some of the scroungiest-looking short-legged cattle I have ever laid eyes on — he was afraid of the horses he wanted one of the local Amish people to teach him how to drive when he planned on getting some of them.
9JJ,
Texas is NOT allowed to leave the Union. Austin and it’s music scene are National Treasures, and us Damyyanks will go to war to keep it!!!!
AI
10I kept thinking … who does that creepy guy look like!?! Well, Mike answered that question: Alfred E. Neuman! LOL
Actually, ole Jeb looks like he might be able to munch field corn through a picket fence out there on his subsistance farm that he’s gonna be having when all hell breaks loose!!
11Krugman got the Nobel Prize, Hensarling is in line for a Darwin Award.
12I don’t care what anybody says, Jeb looks like his hair is painted on. Or maybe it’s a skullcap painted to look like some sort of hair.
He’s one of Phil Gramm’s boys, which might partially explain his ugliness in looks and actions.
13Elected by (R)obots
14I have a friend who lives in the Mission District in San Francisco–in a rent-controlled, ground-floor apartment. Last year, he actually bought four hens, built a coop, and started gathering his own eggs. Unfortunately, some urban wildlife laid waste to the chickens. He hasn’t starved, though–during the day he runs a software engineering business. Oh, and he is a 24-karat Liberal.
15If you want a chuckle, see Doonesbury’s strip today (& yesterday) about TX seceding, Bushes & Perry…
http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/db/
16Btw… back when McCain twittered (via staff) about those nasty earmarks, he referred to a TX bee farm getting a big whopper to expand. Of course I went on a chase into earmarks that Texas gets. The bee “farm” turned out to be a USDA-linked TX A&M facility & the $243,000 “earmark” was actually their annual budget. Never mind bees are absolutely essential to agriculture, but mysteriously dying off in great numbers at the time.
Then I found a slightly larger true earmark – $245,000 to build a visitors center near a military facility. Those were the lowest of the low when it came to Texas earmarks. In 2010, Texas received over $20 BILLION in earmarks!
17That doomsday preppers site is fun!
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