Unicorns. Actually, it Was Unicorns
49% of GOP voters nationally say they think that ACORN stole the election for President Obama. We found that 52% of Republicans thought that ACORN stole the 2008 election for Obama, so this is a modest decline, but perhaps smaller than might have been expected given that ACORN doesn’t exist anymore.
I’m telling you – it was unicorns and rainbows in a coalition with Big Foot.
Mitt Romney is walking around barefoot in his jammies, wimpering. Karl Rove has been kicked out of the worst bar on earth – Fox News. Dick Morris is lisping his way to nighty-night. The Koch Brothers are having to answer to their heirs and Sheldon Adelson is still so ugly that your clothes wrinkle when you’re in his presence.
And it’s all ACORN’S fault, dammit.
Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.
49% of GOP voters are senile.
1It has seemed to me for a long time now that the GOP had gone through the looking glass–where up is down, in is out, and the voters were all fools. That they had all been in a bubble and only heard what they wanted to hear, is manifestly evident. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch.
What appalls me is the sheer number of “low information” people out there. Now, that is scary.
2Low information = no information in most cases. I have what my friends call a “phenomenal memory” because, I guess, at age 70 I can still remember what I was doing when I was 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, and 60. And when I was in my twenties I was working with ACORN to register voters. When I was 30 I was writing for Women for Change and learning activism from people who really knew the ropes. I think these people who claim not to remember anything are really saying that they don’t know anything because they have never bothered to peep outside their own teensy brains . . . . or is it Alzheimer’s? Hmm.
3OK. Unicorns, rainbows . . . and glitter!!!!
4It’s hard to keep track, anymore. There’s so much information all the time, most of it contradicting my deeply held world views. If I didn’t have FOX, Rush and all the rest to tell me what the actual reasons are behind all these seeming incongruities, I’d go nuts trying to keep it together. As far as I can tell, this is the real story:
Barack Hussein Obama II Khan was born in Honolulu, Kenya, to a socialist Islamic anti-colonialist father and a communist race-mixing mother who refused to take her free contraception or go to Planned Parenthood for a taxpayer funded abortion. They immediately invented the fax machine and Photoshop to create a fake birth certificate and announcement in Hawaii, where they had no birth certificate security having only been admitted to the US just the year before. We’re not sure how the Obamas in Kenya engineered that state’s admission, but Donald Trump is investigating.
Anyway, having imbued his son with Communist Socialist Marxist Leninist Maoist Fascist tendencies, Barack senior handed the mother and child off to a man named Sotero in Indonesia, who completed Barack II’s training in the martial arts, mass psychology, and teleprompter reading, as well as teaching him how to eat dogs. Convinced that he was now the Chosen One, BO reentered the Matrix.
He falsified all his grades in high school, college and law school. Then he moved to Chicago, where agents had been preparing his rise by inventing Chicago-style politics. His Kenyan family members were also illegally in the US, planted here to hack voter databases and restore voting rights to Eliot Ness AND Al Capone, both of whom voted for Barack in every election since.
They are working on actually reanimating the dead to hide their voter fraud but that will instead lead to the zombie apocalypse. Glenn Beck has a blackboard that proves this, and Trump’s on this, too.
John Kerry’s brainwashing while he was a POW in Viet Nam (oh, no record of THAT either? Convenient!) now kicks in and he allows Barack and his magic teleprompter to take over the 2004 convention. After that, his illegal relatives hack the FBI database to hide all the bad stuff, then diabolically REPROGRAM the Diebold machines to cheat for Dems instead of Republicans.
Bingo, Barack becomes President, then immediately does none of the bad things we expected JUST TO LULL US INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY. He then uses reanimated zombie ACORN to win re-election, against reanimated zombie Mitt Romney. Now, his UN minions will storm the country, parachuting out of black helicopters while in wheel chairs! Right after he outlaws all our guns to leave us defenseless, and makes us all use free contraception and Planned Parenthood to have fewer white babies. (Ironic, huh!)
Whew, I think that covers it all. I think I’ll send more money to Karl Rove, now.
5Dear daChipster,
I now need a glass of wine.
It’s far too early and I am still at work.
This is all because of the Whiter Shade of Male
I teased out of you the other day, right?
I dont see the unicorns or the terror babies or the muslims taking over the state dept in the above either.
6Because they are invisible?
Regards, Liz
PS: …and SANDY dammit what about the time he held NOAA hostage and made them create a hurricane using the PENTAGON too! And they reaveraged the temperatures to make it look hotter too! And he made that other one mess up the Convention too. And he’s makin our kids into the FEMA SS! Gosh!
7daChipster, you made my day with that….Thanks!
8DaChipster … best read I’ve had so far today! Thank you!!!
9What if Juanita Jean and daChipster ran for President/V.P. in 2016?
10@grammy97: the campaign would be purely hilarious and leave the Rethugs sputtering.
11Instead of acorns or unicorns, how about blaming it on bunions?
12daChipster, I betcha you could git you a job writing history textbooks in Tayuksis.
13@BarbinDC: Are there Really that many of them out there, or are they so dumb they just stand out more?
14One thing about ACORN that many forget. A DEMOCRAT majority in BOTH houses voted to defund ACORN–all based on the flimsy testimony of James O’Keefe, a known right-wing operative. AND a Democrat President stood by and said nothing as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth he was so cool to the issue of destroying an organization whose only “crime” was to assist poor (mostly black people) register to vote.
15Even worse, the unicorns are from North Korea! http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/50058129/ns/today-today_news/
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