And The New Secretary of Defense is Hugh Hefner
Oh great, now it is humping heaven at the Pentagon.
I now know more than I ever wanted to know about military affairs. Good Lord, why don’t they just go skinny dippin’ with snappin’ turtles over there? It would be just about as exciting and a lot less dangerous.
The second woman involved, Jill Kelley, has been described as “an unpaid social liaison at MacDill Air Force Base.” Is that the new description of a crack whore? Unpaid social liaison? Hell, Thelma says when she social liaisons, she gets paid darn well for it.
And here’s the worst part …
The official said 20,000 to 30,000 pages of emails and other documents from Allen’s communications with Kelley between 2010 and 2012 are under review. He would not say whether they involved sexual matters or whether they are thought to include unauthorized disclosures of classified information. He said he did not know whether Petraeus is mentioned in the emails.
Those old goat white Republican men in Congress will insist on reading all 30,000 pages – okay, even I admit that steps over the obsession line by maybe 70 or 80 miles – and get all quivery with outrage.
This is only the first day and I am doing loads of heavy sighing already. Can somebody come up for a euphemism for this tawdry mess so I don’t have to keep saying sex that ain’t your bidness?
Y’all, my friend Carol says that Faux News should give this to the guy with the most experience in handling this sort of thing, Geraldo.
I’m waiting for Geraldo to take over the reporting on this, after all he has the most experience in this sort of thing.
for more details see: http://jezebel.com/5960098/a-guide-to-understanding-the-increasingly-convoluted-petraeus-sex-scandal
linked from Gawker.com
if it wasn’t so sad it would be funny, truth is stranger than fiction.
1Drips and drabs, this Jill person they claim turned over the Paula emails certainly is “social”. Dunno what you would call a military general groupie, but will think on it. Unbelieveable, there is no way Jill is completely the innocent butterfly.
2I would think that 20-30 Thousand emails would count as stalking, unless she really liked the guy.
I’m also wondering if this is the same FBI agent(The one Kelly went to) that also helped Ann Coulter out of her little voter fraud in Florida(She knowing voted in the wrong district.)
Would be interesting to find out.
3Sooo let me get this straight:
This one woman in Tampa who is in the state department, no wait, she’s in JSOC, no WAIT she’s an unpaid social liaison….
This one woman, I say, is the recipient of shirtless selfies from an FBI agent, “inappropriate” emails from the Afghanistan theater commander, and enough attention from the former Afghanistan theater commander and current CIA Director so as to warrant threatening e-mails from that fellow’s mistress.
She must do an awful lot of social liaisoning and/or have a Golden P ersonality.
4Timing is everything. Jezebel does have a way, the more I see the more I feel like I’m in a soap opera. I learned a long, long time ago that trying to hide the truth could be problematic at best. Making deals with some deity to make it all go away only prolongs the agony. Tap dancing on thin ice is not advised. Entertainment value, priceless!
5daChipster just made me choke on my beverage. I should learn not to drink when reading his comments.
I like “shirtless selfies” Juanita, I surely do.
6If they had put salacious sex inserts in the Affordable Health Care Act, those lazy old goat white Republican men probably would have read it too.
7internosey – intercourse that is none of your bidness
pec-a-doan-know – (see above)
8Lord have mercy- I’ve lost track already!!!
9I say release all those emails to the Republican party. By the time they, (and their tutors,) wade thru them all, the country will be 10 years down the road, without Any obstruction!
We told prior to the election that this country has a lot of problems. Problems that needed to be solved… yesterday. And all it takes to distract congress from getting down to work on the fiscal cliff, immigration reform, and Afghanistan – – is a reboot of “Bob & Ted & Carol & Alice?”
10I keep looking for some new pearl of historical wisdom out of all this, but sadly, it’s all old stuff. In days of yore, hotties like these would just be called camp followers.
11One of the many, many hilarious aspects of this story is that the Right Wing Echo Chamber is spewing forth theory after theory about how the Democrats have engineered this whole thing to distract America from Benghazi-gate, the Greatest Threat To Democracy, Freedom America and Puppies The Republic Has Ever Faced ™.
I’m having trouble keeping up, but it appears as though Republican generals cheated on their wives such that one mistress threatened another mistress who got her shirtless FBI friend to investigate but he told Republican Congressmen about it. This was all a plot by Democrats to discredit the generals while simultaneously boosting ther credibility so that their testimony about Benghazi would be believed / ignored / coerced but it was really a blackmail issue on the Directorate of the CIA, where one of the generals was promoted to get him / keep him quiet / discredit him / have him lie while the other general was promoted for much the same or different reasons all of which is a big set-up by the Democrats who appeared to be the last to find out about it all yet still cunningly conspired to have both men stick their bayonets where they didn’t belong, while convincing two GOP congressmen to keep it all quiet before the election, probably via a vulvan mind meld by more mistresses.
Assuming for a minute that we Dems really are smart, organized and unscrupulous enough to come up with and actually enact all these nafarious, round-about, multiple, inter-locking, long-term schemes…
….hadn’t the ‘Pubs better just give up now?
I mean, a Party that can place a false birth anouncement 50 years ago, and convince Generals whom to schtup to our best advantage….
…..do they REALLY want to mess with us?
12No wonder we can’t win a darned war.
These idiots are too busy chasing women.
20,000 e-mails…… I do not believe it.
Howe much time must this guy have spent in this crap.
13BTW – IMHO…….the only reason the GOP isn’t all over this. Eric Cantor has known about this since October. The person kept mostly out of the loop……. The President of the United States.
King David….. I think…… may have been their 2016 Great White Hope.
Well that’s in the crapper…… isn’t it?
14I wouldn’t normally care what they get up to, sexually. Whether they’re horndogs in their private lives is between them and their spouse.
However, when the head of the C I effing A puts himself in a position to be vulnerable to blackmail, it’s a huge deal. When the other general gives out classified schedule info, it’s a huge deal. Somebody described it as ‘poor judgement’. Geez – ya think? If they don’t get courts martialled and dishonorable discharges, there is no justice.
On a separate note, you just know they’re going to be moving their lips as they read. This could take a while.
15These guys make Newt Gingrich look lazy and half-hearted in his philandering. He could learn a few things from these guys.
16Here’s an idea for a euphemism for sex that’s none of your business: “normal human behavior.”
“Two generals, an FBI agent, and two women are being investigated for normal human behavior.”
Takes the salaciousness right out of it, dontcha think?
17“vulvan mind meld”, daChipster? ROFLMAO!
18If those 20,000 to 30,000 pages of emails are sexual it’s a wonder these guys ever find the time to fight wars. Re the conservative attacks on Broadwall–the slut tempted him–weren’t the Repubs big fans of Monica Lewinksy?
19Chip, what did you and Mrs. Chip put in the cornflakes this morning? I want me some.
20Well, seems as if the military has a new recruitment strategy they’re testing or some sort of bait&switch maneuver to distract and disarm all those terrorist, both foreign and domestic, and cause them to convulse themselves into disabling, if not fatal, laughing jags.
21Brilliant!!!!
Gramiam, were you and I the only ones who caught that? I am *dying* here, because I’m reading at work and cannot, simply *cannot* give vent to the absolute GLEE of daChip’s brilliant exposition (nor his typos, which are *killing me*, Chip, KILL! LING! ME!).
Brian’s “internosey” was pretty good, but I think we can do better. I’m working on it. If I don’t finally choke on all this hilarity I’m having to smother….
22From Twitter:
RT @jeffgibbstc In the twilight of the American Empire, sex can bring you down and earn weeks of headlines — but war crimes get you a pass.
23I just love all of you…made my day and often do–thanks!!
24Elise VH, I know exactly what you mean! I used to come here first thing in the morning and read with my morning coffee, but I got so damn tired of cleaning coffee out of my laptop, I now make myself put the coffee on the table Before I read!!
25My buddy “Fryer” Tuck looked in for a few minutes, a few minutes back, and said, “Damn shame all them thur gays rurned the dignity of the military and the sanctity of marriage.”
They are also immune to the vulvan mind meld.
(I gotta be honest, it started as a typo. Then a slow grin crept across my face, like the Grinch with his wonderful, awful idea…)
26Who is she socializing with at MacDill? The jellyfish? Those were the most exciting things at MacDill when I lived there.
27An astute observation of irony by the “Fryer.”
28Not only clever but honest! Accidental puns are ALWAYS the best! Tell mrs daChip ta give you a hug for me. How’s cousin JHChristo doin, haven’t heard from him lately…
29…general admission…general merchandise…
30How many women leaders do we see making the kind of mistakes Petraeus and other men keep on making? Could it be that women allow the part of their body above the waist to make decisions?
31Well now, the destruction continues. It seems Ms. Kelly was given some sort of “unofficial” ambassorship by the military and she has “Honorary Consul” on her license plate AND she tried claiming “diplomatic” protection from the news hordes outside her house. OH, and she got both Petraeus and Allen to write letters in support of her twin sister’s custody suit. The judge deemed the sister “psychotic.” Oops.
It was also reported this evening that Paula Broadwell and her husband went to Washington, VA for the weekend to celebrate her birthday. The Inn at Little Washington had no rooms, so they stayed at another tony inn in the same town. They hiked, dined splendidly and were reported to appear happy and affection. That is, until the news about Petraeus’ resignation broke and her role in the affair. Then, the not-so-happy couple appeared to be not speaking and left town in a real hurry. Dinner at the Inn at Little Washington starts at about $400 per person, for those of you interested. Depending on the wine you choose, it can easily reach over a grand, not including the tip.
This is all getting downright hilarious.
32There may be a security risk problem after all:
Petraeus friends Jill Kelley and Natalie Khawam share financial troubles
It seems that the Kelleys and Jill’s sister, Natalie Khawam, have had some dicey financial problems, including a somewhat suspicious charity. Given the complicated political situation in Lebanon, it might be a temptation for a person to attempt to learn sensitive military information.
33Once worked in the Pentagon. Got lost one day and ended up going down the corridor which turned out to belong to all the Chiefs of Staff. Sugar, you should have seen all the very young anorexic blond girls in uniform who worked for each of thes guys! I saw way to many duplicates, triplicates and quadruplicates of these grils in that corridor not to believe that they all came from some sort of very special military bigwig central casting. Since I was not in uniform and not blond I was “eyed suspiciously.” Yup. Our tax dollars at work.
34IMHO,
35This is Mr. Cantor’s version of last term’s McConnell ” Our single Purpose…..”
following the tired Playbook from the last time they were out of the White House, looks like the Repugs are gonna spend the next 4 years, and millions of taxpayer dollars, exposing all the horrible morality and vulvan Philanderings of us Dems….
Someone please get them a new script writer…. this is sooo boring…
Actually Sam, I can think of one recently, in Wisconsin I think. The young man sued for being fired in a retaliatory fashion; I’ll go try to hunt up a link somewhere. I think she may have been a Repub too, but not certain
36Actually Sam, I can think of one recently, in Wisconsin I think. The young man sued for being fired in a retaliatory fashion; I’ll go try to hunt up a link somewhere. I think she may have been a Repub too, but not certain
37