.

Last weekend Juanita got an opportunity to meet with some girlfriends from foreign states.  The first subject they brought up was about our Governor killing a coyote.

Juanita has long figured that story is taller than it is wide.  Why else would the Gov wait a couple of months before bragging that he killed a puppy-eating coyote with his handy .380 Ruger loaded with hollow points bullets that he carries while jogging?  Nope, not this Governor.  This Governor would have brought back the pelt and hung it on the wall for the 5:00 news team to photograph.  Or had someone do it for him.  He seems a tad prissy to be handling yucky innards stuff himself.

Anyway, Juanita’s girlfriends were giggling about the idea that our Gov carries a Ruger in his jogging shorts.  “You’d think a man of sufficient proportions wouldn’t have room for anything extra in his shorts,” Verdelia surmised.

Another friend asked if it was really necessary to kill a coyote in Austin, Texas.  “Isn’t that kinda like killing a feral cat?” Glenda Sue wondered.  And then she surmised, “It must be a Republican thing.”

Maybe it is.

So, because Republicans and Democrats handle things differently, Juanita has taken it upon herself to write The Wiki Guide for Dealing With Coyotes.

Upon finding a coyote on your jogging path —

Republicans tap their foot three times to make sure it’s not “that” kind of encounter.  Democrats threaten reconciliation – but they just threaten; they never actually do it.

Republicans check their What Would Jesus Do bracelet and then blow the sucker’s brains out.  Democrats welcome displaced coyotes to the city and give them the Astrodome.

Republicans detain the coyote until it produces proof it was in the country legally.  Democrats demand verification that the fur was fair trade and that the Acme brand rocket skates are carbon neutral.

Republicans believe that the market will determine the political value of coyote stories.  Democrats believe they should be regulated by – oh, I dunno – the truth?

We hope this guide will help visiting dignitaries.