Things got really weird last week when Harry Reid said that someone told him that Mitt Romney didn’t pay taxes and that’s why he won’t release his taxes and then Mitt Romney said, “Prove it” like Harry Reid could just pull Romney’s tax returns out of his own ear.

That’s a whole lot like saying, “Prove I’m holding your bowl of ice cream behind my back.”  There’s only one way to prove that and it involves me, your back, and some shoving.  If you add “without looking behind my back” to that, then it involves me, your back, some cuss words, and a handy cast for your arms afterward.

So Romney, who is beginning to prove he really, really has something to hide, says ….

“Harry, who are your sources? Let’s have Harry explain who that is,” Romney said.

Now, I want to tell you something.  Back in my reporter days, I learned that if you ask someone a question like, “Did you rob that bank?” and their first response is “Who told you that?” then they did rob the bank.  Innocent peoples’ first response is, “Hell, no.”  Well, at least most of the time.  If they say, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” then my theory doesn’t work at all.

So then Romney says …

The candidate said firmly, “I have paid taxes every year, and a lot of taxes, so Harry is wrong.”

Lindsey Graham: He has "issues."

Now, the only way we know this is true is because Mitt says so.  You know, if somebody said I was on drugs, the very first thing I’d do is pee in a cup.  The second thing I’d do is sue their butt.  The third thing I’d do is kick that sued butt.  But then, I have nothing to hide and a reputation to protect.  Romney has something to hide and his reputation for being a greedy sumbitch who scams his way out of paying his taxes has not been assaulted by Reid’s claim.

Which brings us to Lindsey Graham.  I don’t like Lindsey Graham and I always will.

Lindsey Graham has decided that he’s the voice of reason in all this.  He says ….

Graham said the majority leader was “making things up” to distract from the “real issues.”

Real issues?  Romney’s dedication to his country and his financial acumen are not issues, but Barack Obama’s birth certificate is?

Well, I am certainly glad we got that cleared up.  And how lucky we are to have Lindsey Graham decide what the issues are.  I’d hate to think some South Carolina cracker was making decisions like that.  Oh, wait.