Hal over at Half Empty recorded my speech to the convention.  I have no idea how much he’s going to charge me for a copy of it, but I suspect it will have something to do with me coming over to his house and cleaning the tops of his ceiling fans.

My speech to the delegation of SD18, which consists of 21 counties in Texas and is bigger than Delaware, New Hampshire, and some other foreign state combined, was not recorded because we only had 1 minute to speak.  Like the other candidates, I gave the delegates a copy of my qualifications to be national delegate prior to the convention.  That’s why we only got a minute.  Nobody ran against me but they let me give my speech anyway.

They expected comedy.  They did not get it.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am nothing.

I was a teacher of special needs children, so I can speak of the power and magic of education.

I have been married for 42 years so I can speak to President Obama’s commitment to marriage equality.

I am a small business owner so I can speak to the President’s jobs plan.

I held my 25 year old son in my arms as he died of cancer, uninsured.  I can speak to the financial devastation to families even aside from their unimaginable emotional devastation before the Affordable Health Care Act.  It is not Obamacare.  It is Obama Cares.  I can speak.

By choice, I live in the most racially diverse county in this state so I can speak to the Voter’s Rights Act.

I can speak because I have charity and love.  And, like ALL Democrats, that makes me something.

I hear candidates whine and bellyache all the time that they can’t say anything in one minute. That is caca del toro.

Other fun fact:  My own cousin, the executive director of the state Democratic party, had me thrown out of the VIP room.  For the rest of his entire life, Christmas will be hell for him.  Plus, next time I see him, he will need to take on the nickname of “Limpin’ Bill.”

Y’all, I come real close to feeling sorry for David VanOs, who fancies himself the only progressive in Texas.  This convention, he used his wife Rachel to run for State Party chairman so he could get to speak to the convention.

I generally follow the rule of never punching down in politics, but as I’m gonna explain later, this was the most progressive platform and progressive party chair we’ve had in the past three decades and to marginalize the hard work that went into getting that done just because you didn’t do it yourself is … oh dear God, y’all, they came on stage ringing cowbells.  Not in the ironic kind of way, but just to be loud.

Cowbells:  For people who want to be heard but have nothing to say.

I turned to my candidate, who spoke last, and said, “Just in case you were pondering giving me a cowbell, I need to let you know that I don’t do cattle calls.”  Luckily for me, he had brought no bells or whistles – just tough, passionate women to nominate him.

Anybody who was bored at this convention did not attend the right caucuses or the right parties.  We worked hard, we played hard, and the entire state party and State Democratic Executive Committee shifted like a California tectonic plate on helium.

More to come once I get unpacked.