The Texas Republican boy candidates are duking it out, Honey.

In the marketplace of ideas, these guys are Spencer’s Gifts.

I told you about State Senator Dan Patrick and fellow State Senator John Carona whacking each other over the head with “You’re so gay” and “No, you’re so gay” for no determinable reason other than they both want to be Lt. Governor if the current Lt Gov, David Dewhurst, gets elected to the big Senate in DeeCee.  Grown men calling each other gay violates all the supposed dignity of the State Senate, bullying laws at Davy Crockett Elementary School and, most importantly, the float rules at the Pride Parade in Dallas.

But, like Republican economic policies, this stuff trickles up.

David Dewhurst

David Dewhurst’s main opponent in the race for the GOP nomination for the Senate seat that Kay Bailey Hutchison is resigning is a guy named Ted Cruz.  Okay, so I will admit that Cruz is so crooked that if he swallowed a nail, he’d spit up a corkscrew, but Dewhurst has used his vast amounts of dirty campaign money to send bad photography and icky websites against Cruz.

The whole Dewhurst rant against Cruz is more misleading than most San Antonio one way streets.  Not that I’m complaining, mind you, because neither Cruz or Dewhurst is worth diddle squat.

The primary in Texas is May 29th but early voting starts Monday.  It’s gonna get powerful nasty this weekend.  I’m staying indoors and laying low.  I’m betting they’re gonna settle this stuff with gun play, and when I die I want to be real sick, real old, or doing something worth dying for.  I do not want “innocent bystander” to appear anywhere in my obituary.

Thanks to Texas Ellen for the heads-up.