Two Republican Texas State Senators are fixing to start scratching, hair pullin’, and slapping each other.

Dan Patrick

Republican wild-eyed self-promotion king Senator Dan Patrick of Houston is all over Republican I’m-more-conservative-than-you Senator John Carona of Dallas.  These guys make The Avengers and Loki look tame.

Patrick sent an email to his 30 fellow Texas State Senators this weekend accusing Carona of spreading a rumor that Patrick and his wife Jan are separating.

Patrick says that’s not true and Carona is despicable.  Yeah, that’s the word he used.  Kudos that he did not use the words “fabulously despicable.”

Corona spits back.

In response, Carona sent a letter to Patrick calling his charges false and saying Patrick should have called him regarding the allegations before contacting their colleagues. “Though I have heard rumors regarding your marital status and sexual preferences for a while now, at no time have I told anyone that you are either separated, divorced or gay,” the Dallas Republican said.

Is that not the coolest thing you’ve read in a long time?

John Carona

Honestly, I did not know until I read read Corona’s response that there were rumors that Patrick’s gay.  I mean, it’s a pretty well known fact that he’s a jerk and a nincompoop, but gay?  Another rumored gay Republican male in Austin.  Somebody needs to alert Glen Maxey!

Patrick responded to Carona by calling him “repulsive.”  Somebody, please!, buy these guys a Thesaurus so they can keep this up!

They both want to be Lt. Governor if David Dewhurst is successful in his United States Senate run.  Neither of them is qualified but both are pretty good at this name-calling stuff.  I mean, if we should ever get into a name-calling contest with Louisiana or Oklahoma, these are the guys to lead us in that endeavor.  Otherwise, worthless as a three card flush.

When Republicans are fighting like this, I think we Democrats should spend our campaign money on Margaritas, beach towels, umbrellas, and binoculars so we can be comfortable watching them.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.