Yesterday was not the greatest day Newt Gingrich ever had.

First, he got bitten by a penguin.  It is unknown if the penguin had to be treated for rabies.

Then he shows up at a luncheon in a Dallas suburb and admits that he’d be interested in being Vice President, which is gonna happen right after I get the ice concession in hell.  But mainly, he just wants someone to listen to him.  He begged Texans to vote for him in the GOP primary so he can speak at the Republican National Convention.

“We still have a right to have the last conservative standing make the case for conservatism,” Gingrich said.

Honey, they had to tie me to the floor to keep me from flying around with joy when I heard that.  Newt wants one more chance to bash Romney in front of America.

My favorite line in Newt’s bad day was this sucker.

Gary Doan, an information technology specialist from Cedar Hill, said Gingrich could not win, but he would like to see him influence the GOP platform.

“He’s a walking idea machine,” Doan said.

Yeah, well, Junior Janochek, Jr., is a walking lets-decorate-this-doublewide-with-beer-cans-and-velvet-Elvis-paintings machine, but that doesn’t mean that we should pay him any mind.

On the upside, Newt did not divorce anyone new.

Thanks to David and Anthony for the heads-up.