Republican convention in Tampa?  Wanna protest?  First, you have to go to special protest area where the conventioneers can’t see you.  And —-

During the week of the convention, Tampa also would ban various items, depending on the location in Tampa:

• Citywide, there would be a ban on carrying pieces of wood, hard tubes or anything else that could be used as a club, as well as water guns, super soakers, air guns, paintball guns, explosives, switchblades, hatchets, slingshots, brass knuckles, Mace, chains, crowbars, hammers, shovels, or any container containing urine, fecal matter or other bodily fluid.

• In the Clean Zone, the ban would be expanded to prohibit ropes, straps, tape or string longer than 6 inches, glass containers, ceramic vessels, light bulbs, padlocks and bicycle locks, things that could be used as portable shields and gas masks.

• Inside the protest area, the ban would be expanded still further to prohibit aerosol cans, camping gear, coolers and ice chests, fireworks, lasers, bottles, cans, thermoses, sticks, poles, ladders and umbrellas with metal tips.

But, with a concealed weapons permit, you can bring a gun.  Anywhere.  Except the convention hall itself because the Secret Service insists on that.  But, even in the protest area, you can carry a gun.  I know you all feel safer that someone can’t have a thermos but a .357 is just fine.

Don’t you think it’s a tad weird that nobody in the entire city of Tampa Florida The United States of America,
can carry a piece of wood for a week?  I mean, hell, my purse could do more damage than a 2 by 4.

And super soakers?  What’s with that?  Hammers?  For a whole week nothing gets nailed in Tampa Florida the United Damn States of America?  Would that include Miz Lizzy Frontage, Tampa’s premier pavement princess?

How ’bout spike heels?  How’d you guys miss that?

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.