I have somehow lost the meaning of the word misspeak.

I thought it was like when an actor says Missippi instead of Mississippi.  I thought it was when you said “my phone number is 555-555-5555,” and then you say, “No, wait, my phone number is 555-555-5556.”

Apparently, all these years I have been thinking wrong.

Misspeak also means, “oops, I lied and got caught.”

But there’s a new meaning, too.

On Thursday, [Republican House Budget Chairman Paul] Ryan questioned whether generals are telling the truth about their budget.

“We don’t think the generals are giving us their true advice. We don’t think the generals believe that their budget is really the right budget,” he said at a budget summit hosted by National Journal. “I think there’s a lot of budget smoke and mirrors in the Pentagon’s budget.”

And it also means, “I said something really stoopid and want to take it back but I have too small an ego to admit I actually made a mistake.  So, here’s my story:  I said generals?  Oh gee, I meant minerals.  Minerals have a lot of smoke and mirrors.  Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan admitted Sunday he “misspoke” when questioning the integrity of top generals on military spending needs, and said he has apologized to the Pentagon’s top adviser to the president.

Odds are pretty good that he used the minerals alibi to apology.

Y’all, I have to admit something.  I really can’t be fair about Paul Ryan.  For some reason that I cannot understand, that guy is so creepy to me that the hair literally stands up on my arms when he speaks.  I mean, politically he’s no worse than Boehner, but Boehner makes me mad.  Ryan creeps me out. He must remind me of a scary great uncle or something.  I dunno.