Oh yeah, Darlin’.  That’s Super Tuesday over there on the horizon, looking all dark and damp.  Shriveling up like a pill bug on asphalt and bringing the bad news to Republicans that nobody actually thinks they have a chance in hell.

But that doesn’t keep us from chortling and having fun.  Southern Moon Pie fun!

Yep.  The winner of this contest gets a giant – and I’m talking bigger than Juanita’s purse and the entire city of Del Rio, Texas – box of genuine Tennessee Moon Pies.  And since The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. spares no expense in bringing you the finest products known to mankind and womankind, these are the banana flavored  kind.  No siree, you bypass real bananas entirely so you have none of that unattractive brown speckling or needless nutritional value.

Lookie right here.

Welcome to the south, Sugar.  And speaking of sugar, these Moon Pies are guaranteed to contain more sugar than a herd of birthday cakes.  This is a lifetime worth of sugar.  Hell, child, half of one of these will keep you awake until August.  That’s why they call them “Lookout” Moon Pies.

Now, to keep this simple, we’re only guessing three of the many Super Tuesday states:  Georgia, Tennessee, and Ohio.  I threw in Ohio for you folks of the damnyankee mindset.

So here’s the rules.  Pay attention because if you don’t don’t follow the rules or if you get on my nerves, I’ll toss you out of the contest faster than a six legged jackrabbit.

We’re gonna take these in alphabetical order so it makes it easier to figure out who won.  For you mnemonic fans out there, remember GOT – Georgia, Ohio, Tennessee.  Not using this order will not eliminate you, but it will make me roll my eyes in your general direction.

First, rank the order of the 4 winners – Romney, Santorum, Paul and Gingrich.  You may use cute names for these folks without being eliminated, but if they are so esoteric that I have to stop and figure out who you mean, I’m eating one of your Moon Pies before I mail them.

The order of finish will be the first qualification to win.  If there is a tie, percentage of the vote will break the tie, so you’re darn smart to include the percentage of vote.

You may enter today or this weekend and then change your mind by Tuesday at noon.  However, you only get to change your mind once because you really do need to get some outside interests.

Get at it.  This box of Moon Pies ain’t gonna last forever.  Okay, so they probably will, but I’m mailing them next Wednesday come hell or high water.