Okay, so the talk all over Texas is why did Rick Perry change his mind overnight about running for President?  Other than the fact that he wakes up in a new world every day, there’s been speculation that he stayed in to kick Santorum in South Carolina so that Romney could be the nominee and Rick would be Veep because Romney needs a Southerner and a card-carrying, baptized down at the river, footwashing, hallelujah  member of the steeple people on the ticket.

According to Reuters, that ain’t right.

After talking to insiders at the Perry campaign, they broke it down into these factors:

1.  Romney is a damn Mormon, which sounds a whole lot like Muslim, and they wear funny underwear so somebody, by gawd, has to beat him and Newt is …. well, Newt, and Santorum will fade like crepe paper in sunlight.

2.  Crony Capitalism pays well.

A source close to Perry’s campaign said he still could go to his donors in major Texas cities “and raise $2 or $3 million, at least.”

“Texas is not tapped out,” the source said.

Well, sure, most Texans are tapped out, but Perry’s friends owe some pay-to-play money.  And Perry ain’t even sold the state parks and the Alamo to developers yet.  And, hell, even promising to pass legislation to do away with Texas open beach laws is gotta be worth 50 million or so.

3.  The people in South Carolina are redneck hillbillies.  We’re talking snake-handlin’, prayer-curin’, Jesus-lovin’, drunks with a pickup truck and girlfriends with tube tops and big ole hair.  That ain’t me talkin’, y’all – that’s Rick Perry’s campaign talkin’.

Graham told Perry, who has made patriotism a recurring theme on the campaign trail, that the governor could do well in South Carolina in part because of the state’s concentration of socially conservative voters and military personnel.

Look, all this is fine with me.  I am delighted that he’s still in the race because he’s a doofus pooping all over the Republican brand.

Plus, my best guess is that they’ve already made a license plate for him in South Carolina.