James E. “Trey” Trainor is our MAGA guy in the Federal Election Commission. Appointed by TFG himself in 2020, Trainor has played musical chairs with TFG’s other appointee, Sean Cooksey, as the FEC chairman. Together, they have formed an AI voting bloc.

AI, you see, is merely exercising its God-given right to “Free Speech,” and both Trey and Sean are going to stand up and fight for the constitutional rights of…well…AI.

Because it is far from the purview of the FEC to regulate “Free Speech.” It’s just not in their mandate, even if it is false information generated by AI.

Apparently, someone, let’s call him “Public Citizen,” petitioned the commission to exercise its authority under a federal statute (52 U.S.C. § 30124) that forbids false representation of a candidate or political party as speaking or acting for another candidate or party so as to do damage to that candidate or party.

In other words, “dirty pool is not allowed.”

But as Trey outlines in his statement published in the Washington Examiner today:

“[The Federal Election Campaign Act] does not prohibit broader general untruthfulness in a campaign ad, such as making untrue statements about a candidate’s voting record.”

Besides that, this AI stuff is big and complicated, too big for the FEC.

But how does this impact “Free Speech,” you may ask. Further on, he writes:

“No matter the dangers of AI, an ill-conceived knee-jerk response risks constraining free politica expression. As history has taught, from fear does not often spring good law. And this concern is heightened when those laws regulate the core of political speech in our country.”

In other words, this “free speech” could be wrong on so many levels, but if it’s generated by Artificial Intelligence, well that’s infringement upon the constitutional rights of AI.

It brings to mind “Citizens United,” the controversial SCOTUS opinion that corporations use campaign contributions as “Free speech”.

So, taking this to a test mentioned in a famous Supreme Court criterion, if it is AI that yells “FIRE!” in a theater, that’s OK.

[Everyone thank Alfredo at the Dairy Queen for this one.]

Oh puhleeze. Donald, just say you want some money. Fear not…

I started hearing mentions of uber right-wing conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer being in the company of Donald Von Shitzenpantz maybe two weeks ago. At that time, the rumor was that Loomer was helping to prep TFG for the Great Debate along with Tulsi Gabbert and Matt Gaetz. Now, it seems that was wrong: Loomer had nothing to do with the debate prep. It was all Gabbert and Gaetz.

Could have fooled me.

But as time went on, Loomer and The Former have been seen together on several occasions, prompting former RNC Chair Michael Steel to say, “Melania, check your man!” all the while wondering why “…we are so susceptible to this kind of BS. ”

Even Bill Maher has chimed in saying on his weekly HBO show “She’s 31, looks like his type… Who’s Trump f—ing? Because I said, it’s not nobody. He’s been a dog for too long. And it’s not Melania. I think we may have our answer this week.”

Rather than let this go on and on, Loomer sprinted to the finish by disavowing any and all hanky panky between her and The Orange One on “X”: “I should sue Bill Maher for Defamation. This is beyond the pale and it’s a complete and blatant lie.”

TFG’s h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶r̶s̶  campaign staff have been working overtime to deny what normal and mean-spirited people can all agree to: they’re a good match. His staff says that she’s not MAGA material, while the whole world knows that is not true at all: they are MFEO (Boomers, that means Made For Each Other). Indeed, it’s the staff that are not MAGA enough if that’s what they’re all saying.

I don’t know, and I don’t care. His base doesn’t care about anything TFG says or does, so why should I?

One reason: it’s funny. No, it’s hilarious. It may be pure fabrication, but that won’t keep me from posting an analogy problem like you used to find on the SATs:

TRUMP : LOOMER as
a. TOAD : ORNITHOLOGY
b. TURTLE : MICROBIOLOGY
c. VANCE : COUCH
d. GYMNOSPERMS : BOTANY

If you drive south on Palos Verdes Drive in southern California, you get some spectacular views as the rocky PV Peninsula juts out into the Pacific Ocean. On the right, you pass the Point Vicente Lighthouse and the Terranea Resort, a luxury vacation spot for the well-heeled elite. It sits on the site of the former Marineland of the Pacific, a fun destination for families to bring their kids to see whales and dolphins perform in giant seawater tanks. It was sold to the company that owns Sea World in San Diego (who absconded with Corky the Orca, a killer whale that was renamed Shamu).

As you proceed further south, you pass the Trump National Los Angeles Golf Club in Rancho Palos Verdes. It was there, yesterday, that TFG had a news conference of sorts, with Santa Catalina Island in the background.

And just a little further south, still in Rancho Palos Verdes, over 100 homes are slowly making their way down multiple slumps that will inevitably conveyor belt them down to the crashing waves below.

The plight of these homes was addressed by the former president, who commiserated with RPV’s mayor: “I want to express my support for all of the families affected by the landslides in Rancho Palos Verdes. This area is very solid, but you go a couple of miles down, you’ll see something that’s pretty amazing. The mountain is moving. And it could be stopped but they need some help from the government. So I hope they get the help.”

Tragically, the former president was lying again. There is no fix for this. The Wayfarers Chapel, a local landmark also known as The Glass Church, across PV Drive and just west of the golf course, has given up and closed its doors forever. The RPV homes TFG mentioned are just east of the golf club.

The golf club sits downhill between them. But that’s a story for another decade.

That wasn’t all that TFG had preying on his mind in regard to “government help.” Recent fires in the SoCal area were also uppermost in His Orangeness’s thoughts.

“And Gavin Newscum [sic] is gonna sign those papers, and if he doesn’t sign those papers, we won’t give him money to put [out] all his fires.”

He was speaking, naturally, of the California governor’s stance on protecting Sacramento Delta smelt, an endangered fish species that would be wiped out along with the fragile delta ecosystem if more fresh water from the delta is diverted for agriculture.

TFG hates that, and California will only get federal wildfire aid from a new TFG administration if Newsom lets the fish die.

It’s a trick he tried to use on Volodymyr Zelenskyy in 2019 when he wanted the Ukraine president to deal the dirt on Joe Biden and his son in exchange for military aid.

That didn’t go very well last time, but you know, if at first you don’t succeed, lie, lie again.