Archive for May, 2024

The Last Puppy Kristi Noem Killed

May 23, 2024 By: Half Empty Category: Uncategorized

You’ve seen it mentioned before here, but there is an as-yet unrevealed endgame to Kristi Noem’s Saga of Cricket (and The Goat). And it comes to us courtesy of Brave Books and social media.

As previously mentioned, Brave Books is a book publisher that specializes in Kid Lit right-wing religious tropes that are designed to indoctrinate today’s youth to detest anyone and anything politically to the left of Atilla The Hun.

They contract with the stars of the constellation MAGA to produce high-dollar paperback children’s books. Stars like Sean Spicer, Lara Trump, General Mike Flynn, and … and … Kimberly Guilfoyle have all authored books under contract with Brave Books.

But here’s a homework assignment: go to the Brave Books website and enter the search term “The Princess & Her Pup” in the Search box. Know what you’ll get?

Bupkis.

Oh yes, you get results, just no Guilfoyle book.

Kimberly Guilfoyle’s kid lit book, entitled “The Princess & Her Pup” is not to be found anywhere on Brave Books website, yet it clearly shows in this screenshot of her announcement from HERE.


But you can still find the Brave Books page that promotes Kim’s book. It’s just that you have to click HERE to do it.

That’s because Brave Books has apparently de-linked the page from the rest of their website. Apparently, because try as you might, you cannot access THIS PAGE from THIS ONE.

“Why?” You might ask.

Answer: Kristi Noem.

For the full explanation you need to see this article from Yahoo News .

That’s right. It’s all in the timing of book release dates.

Kristi Noem’s tell-all – where she admits to killing a poor puppy and a goat – was dropped on May 7th, but not before The Guardian put out an advance review of it on April 26th. Suffice it to say, we now know that offing a puppy for its poor behavior is not a mainstream idea unless you are one of the 1.2% of Americans who identify as farmers.

But guess when The Princess & Her Puppy dropped? April 29th. There is even a live link there at her X (formerly Twitter 😆) page to the de-linked Brave Books page (click on the hypertext KGPup.com).

But try and find it from the Brave Books homepage, and you are outta luck.

Could that be because, as the release of Guilfoyle’s book was announced on “X”, it got entwined with the South Dakota governor’s horrific story?

Or is it because, for another $13.00, you can buy the book in a Biden Chew Toy bundle?

Getting Ahead of the Age of Reason

May 21, 2024 By: Half Empty Category: Uncategorized

What do Sean Spicer, General Michael Flynn (ret.), Jack Posobiec, Dan Crenshaw, Mike Waltz, Dana Loesch, Dinesh D’Souza, and John Solomon all have in common?

If you guessed they were all January 6th supporters or TFG idolizers, you would be correct, but they also have one basic thing in common: they are all Kid Lit authors.

At least they are now.

All of the above and more belong to the new constellation of stars being offered by Houston-based Brave Books. Brave Books proudly offers “Pro-God, Pro-America children’s books.” They tout their books to be “faith-based children’s books teaching American values for a brighter future.”

Brave Books features such titles as “The Island of Free Ice Cream,” which instructs children “that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is,” and “Fame, Blame and the Raft of Shame,” which teaches children “the dangers of cancel culture.”

I kid you not.

Childrens’ books, especially those thin ones with colorful illustrations, are a must-have for any parent of small impressionable children. Especially children that are still in their formative years before they reach that magical age when they are considered capable of distinguishing between right and wrong: The Age of Reason.

Early indoctrination of children is not a new concept. Early in the Soviet Era, children of the USSR were encouraged to join Little Octobrists (октября́та) in order to become lively, active, healthy, disciplined youngsters who subordinate themselves to the collective.

At about the same time, a similar program was offered in Germany called Deutsches Jungvolk and Hitlerjugend (Hitler Youth) for older male children.

The difference between then and now, obviously, is that in the present case, the children’s books are offered by a private business, and the earlier indoctrination programs were government run.

Right?

Well, almost. While not government entities themselves, there are three examples of government-related organizations that do participate in indoctrination. In May 2023, the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee) purchased $5,193.00 of these books in order to provide gift mementos to its donors. In November 2022, the Michael Waltz Campaign (FL – 06) bought $580.00 worth of books for supporters. In May 2022, the principal campaign committee of Matt Gaetz (FL – 01) purchased $2,555.80 worth for “supporter gifts.”

These books are pretty pricey for paperbacks, at $22.99 each, so I’m guessing small dollar donors did not receive copies.

And it’s a win-win-win scenario: authors get paid for their works, donors get rewarded for donating, and young children are told about the evils of boycotts and getting free stuff (eg., ice cream, EBT, Healthcare, and Social Security).

In this scenario, when you are in a majority, you maintain the majority by early indoctrination of future voters. If you find yourself in a shrinking minority, it is even more important to indoctrinate them.

Otherwise, you end up like the Whig Party.

TFG Draws a Swing State Challenger

May 18, 2024 By: Half Empty Category: Uncategorized

As if he didn’t have enough to worry about, TFG (The Flatulent Guy) has drawn another opponent in Georgia’s Presidential Election this November.

You might have heard of Him. He’s in a well-read book in…in…what the heck…in The Bible Belt.

Yeshua Jesus Christ.

And here I always thought His middle name started with an H.

It’s all copascetic. He has His own FEC ID number and everything. That number is not to be confused with His inmate number, which is so similar to His Flatulence’s Fulton County inmate number that it’s not funny:
Rumor has it that Yeshua was held for a few days by the Romans, in Rome, Georgia, for consorting with tax collectors and prostitutes, or as Yeshua calls them, publicans and harlots.

Or as they say in Georgia, revenuers and fancy gals.

The Von Shitzenpantz campaign has been mum about this latest obstacle in TFG’s effort to regain his rightful place in The Swamp (as he puts it).

There are two rules to follow in any given election: 1) Ballot Placement, and 2) Name Recognition.

Jeez, I wonder who evangelical voters will notice first.

Free Speech Lesson Number One

May 18, 2024 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

Right there on the heels of my article last week, Harrison Butker of the Kansas City Chiefs experienced a masters course in what free speech really means. In all fairness, he was asked to speak at a Catholic university and he offered his opinions on women’s role in the home, their community, and the business world. So, it wasn’t unsolicited per se, but we can say that it was an unforced error.

You can feel free to watch the speech on its own. It is available on the YouTubes and is slightly over 20 minutes. I’ll pass. He did come out and clarify those remarks after the fact, but his clarified comments were probably worse than the original comments themselves.

Right on cue, those that defend Butker are forgetting my lesson from the last time we talked about free speech. Free speech means that the government cannot throw you in jail for your speech. Even then, there are some caveats there like hate speech, slander, and libel. Butker isn’t inciting a riot, so he should be fine.

Whether he will continue to be employed or not is a different question. Colin Kaepernick would have a lot to say about that. The NFL is an entertainment business. They have made a ton of progress in attracting female fans and they had a huge assist from Taylor Swift. Allowing this kicker to remain an issue might halt the progress they have made there.

Yet, a ton of the NFL fanbase is conservative. These are the same clowns that threatened to boycott the NFL over Kaepernick. They seemingly have no concept of hypocrisy as they stand up to defend Butker while they openly campaigned for Kaepernick to be blackballed. What it comes down to is that free speech only matters when it is something they agree with. Then it is free speech. When they disagree then it is offensive and needs to be suppressed. This is the party that says they are for freedom folks.

I have no problem with Butker saying or thinking what he thinks. I vehemently disagree with it, but he has every right to say it. He also has to put on his big boy panties and accept the blowback. He’s a kicker. There are probably 100 guys that could do what he does at a reasonable level. Would they hit every field goal he hits or be 100 percent on extra points? Probably not. Would they do what he does without all of the headaches? Absolutely.

For the NFL this is not a free speech issue. This is an economic issue. Do they make more money by standing behind someone that openly has these views because a majority of their male fans might have these views or do they make more money by jettisoning this guy and standing behind a growing number of female fans?

The NFL has already made statements saying they disagree with his comments. Hell, the nuns at the university in question made a similar statement. His words may have been inartfully uttered, but the clarifications were worse. As Twain also said, better to be thought an idiot than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. Butker has every right to be an idiot. We all also have the right to call him one. Free speech runs both ways and it also doesn’t prevent private businesses from making a business decision. Let’s not conflate the two.

Of Biker Bars, GOP HQs, and Mosques

May 18, 2024 By: Half Empty Category: Uncategorized

Here’s a fun thing to do on a Saturday. Google the terms “Nehls for Congress”. Among the results is the one that takes you HERE. That’s Congressman Troy Nehls’s campaign website. From there, scroll down to the bottom of the page. Now click on the “Pre-Order My Book” menu option.

That takes you HERE. From there, scroll down just a tad until you see this (or click the screen capture below to make bigly):

Note his mailing address. That’s 1612 Crabb River Road. The location seemed familiar, so I asked around, and this is the best answer I got:

“Yep. I just remembered it!  The Z Bar.  Lots of bikers and bare boobs.  If you drove by on your way to the donut shop, the odds were pretty good that “innocent bystander” would appear in your obituary.  They got sued enough times for over serving that it became a nonprofit but not by choice.”

“It sat empty for a while and then became the Republican headquarters.  Truth be known, it was hard to tell the difference.”

That’s right, I told myself, the Z Bar. I used to pass by it on my way to visit Brazos Bend State Park (the latter is a must-see if you’re in the area). I recall that it was a rare weekend that didn’t have news coverage of the worst sort out of that address.

So now I know what happened to it. The GOP took over Z Bar and it became Freedom Hall: aka the Nehls Campaign headquarters. What I don’t know is whether they had a shaman shake bones and waft acrid smoke in the various rooms to exorcise the evil spirits before moving in.

Something tells me “No”.

But that’s not the end of it. Nehls’s Pre-Order page is obviously out-of-date. Google Maps says that “Freedom Hall” is

If you go one step further, type in the address “1612 Crabb River Road Richmond” in Google Maps, you get the precise location of where Z Bar and Freedom Hall used to be, but a tap on the street view photo gives you this:
Wait. What?

That looks like Arabic script. It is Arabic script!

Further clicking got me to the new owners of Troy Nehls’s old HQ, aka “Freedom Hall”: Darul-Quran Masjid.

From Z Bar to the GOP Freedom Hall to a Mosque. How’s that for progress in Texas?

(Hat tip to Alfredo at the Dairy Queen)

The Eye of the Beholder

May 17, 2024 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

“Get up get up get down. 911’s a joke in your town.” — Public Enemy

The political, social, and sports world collided on Friday morning when Masters champion Scottie Scheffler was arrested and charged with second degree assault of a police officer. This came about because he didn’t follow instructions when they asked him not to pull into the parking lot at Valhalla (where the PGA Championship is taking place). Scheffler says it was blown out of proportion. The detective says he was dragged and had his 80 dollar pants ruined.

Thus we have the conundrum of the modern age. Are police generally good guys with tough jobs that have been trodden upon by an unappreciative public or are they dangerous to certain communities and abusive of their own power? I know where I cast my lot, but that is based on personal experience.

About three or four years ago I was picking up my daughter at the skating rink. The officer on duty politely asked me if I noticed anyone in the parking lot looking inside cars. I said no and went inside to look for my daughter. A couple of minutes later he confronted me and asked me why I was looking inside of cars.

I explained that I was just there to pick up my daughter and go home. He yanked me by the arm and drug me out of the premises. This happened in front of my daughter. He obviously discovered that I was there to pick her up and not vandalize cars, but he couldn’t leave well enough alone. He decided I must be drunk.

I offered to take a breathalyzer test, but he said none was unavailable. Instead I went through a field sobriety test. I am diabetic and have horrible balance. I couldn’t pass one under any circumstances. He refused to let my daughter come home with me. So, I called my wife (who had been drinking) to come and drive her. He finally admitted that he could not hold me, so he let me drive on my own “if I felt safe to do so.”

A half hour ordeal could have gone much worse under a few circumstances. He could have tried to bust me for driving under the influence on absolutely zero evidence outside of a field sobriety test. I had not had anything to drink that day, but that didn’t seem to matter. I suppose he could have put handcuffs on me on suspicion of vandalism on zero evidence.

We had a teacher this year that resigned following a DUI arrest. It boggles the mind how close I could have come to career ruin based on the actions of an overzealous cop. I did complain to his department, but I didn’t keep up with the case. I’m guessing he and his supervisors laughed it off as just one of those things to happen on the job. They certainly didn’t think about what it must of have been like for my daughter to see her father yanked out of a skating rink like some criminal.

Those who defend police will say they have a difficult job. They absolutely have a difficult job. They will say there are just a few bad apples. I think there is more to it than that. There are some systemic issues we see everywhere and that is particularly true when dealing with minority communities.

Do we back the blue or are we one of those communists that want to defund the police? Progressives don’t do themselves any favors with these labels, but policing does need to be revamped. There are just too many personal and national stories for it to be a few bad apples. It is a training issue. It is an issue of how they seem themselves within the community. It is an issue of how they view disparate communities. It also is a case of a job that attracts people with certain personalities that lend itself to this sort of thing. Scheffler might have done something wrong, but I seriously doubt that all of this needed to happen. Now, imagine if he were black, Hispanic, or obviously lower class.