I suffer from a form of depression known as dysthymia. In lay man’s terms it is episodic form of depression where you never get really low to the point of not functioning, but there are times when motivation is an issue. I manage okay for the most part. I perform my duties at work and do what I need to do throughout the day, but it is sometimes hard to get the energy to do anything beyond that.

It’s usually caused by a chemical imbalance. I was diagnosed in my twenties, but it is something that has always been there. The original psychiatrist explained it by saying that there were certain times in our lives when hormones change and we are more susceptible to these imbalances. The standard treatment are anti-depressants, but as many of you probably know, there are dozens of those.

The first one was Paxil. Paxil definitely helped me get out of the fog, but I went from a fairly svelte 140 pounds to a robust 210 pounds. I’m only five foot nine, so that was definitely too much weight. As I went through the treatment I went from feeling generally depressed to feeling depressed because I was fat. I eventually found Cymbalta and managed to get both in control.

In the last 20 years I went from that 210 pounds back 140. That also came with diabetes. Diabetes is a cruel kind of disease. By itself it’s not a big deal, but it causes so many other problems. I have had problems with my eyes, feet, kidneys, digestive system, and goodness knows what else. It seems like I’m going to some doctor every week and playing whack a mole. One problem seems to get better and another problem gets worse.

The other part of diabetes is the root cause. Some people will say it is caused by a bad diet and I can’t necessarily disagree with that. I drunk cola like it was going out of style. Still, people have a predisposition to get it or not depending on genetics. So, you could spiral and vacillate between self-pity and self-loathing.

I described fighting through a fog and that is exactly what it feels like. It’s like wearing gray colored glasses. Take all the personal stuff and add to it what is going on in the world around us and it can seem impossible to make it through. There is the normal middle aged stuff of moving into a stage of life when changes happen. Retirement is coming. Kids are getting older. Parents are getting older.

These thoughts dominate my thinking. It is the way I view the world. I have to train my mind to think positively. It becomes a mantra to help me get through the day. It becomes a way to view our politics and the social/religious issues that dominate our timeline. Anger quickly moves to despair. It can be overwhelming to deal with stupidity and cruelty for their own sake. We were supposed to be better than this. We are called to be better than this. Fighting it can feel like trying to rake sand off the beach.

The long and short of it is that I can offer excuses for not writing, but they are all a cop out. The cruel irony is that the writing serves as therapy for me. I’m not on the anti-depressants anymore. Writing is a lot cheaper and comes without the side effects. Besides I’m taking enough pills to keep the pharmaceutical industry afloat. Keep repeating the same mantras. Most people are basically good. This too shall pass. Our national nightmare will end and our lives will have meaning. Otherwise, there is a pill for that too.

Whenever the Fort Bend Democrats – another Professional Political Organization that I have been involved in – had an event, you could always depend on Congressman Al Green (TX CD-09) to attend.

In Fort Bend County, he was, and is, ubiquitous.

His speeches at these events ranged from the mundane to hell-raising barn burners.

He was just there. Always there.

So when the MAGA Republicans tried to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas yesterday, Congressman Green had a little surprise for them.

He was there.

Because the Republicans have been busy trimming their own numbers when their hold on the majority was tenuous at best, getting a successful vote to impeach a member of the President’s cabinet was going to be close.

Real close.

They had some known dissenters. Three lone Republicans that still had a dash of conscience left in them were a “No”. They could handle that. But no more.

Mayorkas was going to be impeached by the Republicans in the House by one vote: 215-214. They had counted. They had the votes. Mayorkas was toast.

The Republicans had counted, yes. And they counted Al Green out. Green was, after all, in hospital recovering from emergency abdominal surgery. Green was definitely out.

Then Congressman Al Green wheeled into the House Chamber from his hospital bed to cast his “No” vote, which brought the vote total to a dead even 215-215.

Just before closing the vote, one MAGAn changed his vote to “No” to allow the matter to be brought up to a vote again.

Final tally: the resolution failed 216-214.

This flummoxed the least sapient of the TFGists, MTG, who accused Democrats of hiding “one of their members”.

Not so. When Congressman Green, at rest in his hospital bed, was informed of the impending impeachment vote, he was convinced that the Republicans had the votes for passage, because why would they bring the resolution up for a vote if they didn’t think it would pass? Democrats certainly wouldn’t.

“I had to cast this vote because this is a good, decent man whose reputation should not be besmirched.”

So he did. And Mike Johnson gaveled the vote to a close while wiping the egg off his face.

Green is back in his hospital bed now. And he promises to be a better patient.

Author’s Note: I know many of you have expressed concern about Juanita. I got in touch with her yesterday. She is experiencing some health problems that she would not get into. They are not life threatening but she is taking a break from writing for awhile. I and the others will do the best we can to give you something to chew on until she feels up to giving us the same great content she has always given us.

I don’t know much. I studied political science in college, but as I am fond of saying, I have slept since then. However, I remember the concept of political parties and how they are supposed to work. Every party polices themselves and I suppose that’s the main problem. Politics works in fairly simple and predictable ways. Parties have platforms and they use those platforms to govern their solutions to our problems. At least, those are the problems they identify as our problems. Conservatives have identified border security as a problem. Obviously, we can get into any number of discussions as to how true that actually is, but let’s keep things simple.

James Lankford (R-OK) helped broker a deal on immigration reform in the senate. It is about as conservative as any deal anyone could imagine, Remember, the senate is Democratic. There was no reason for the deal to be as conservative as it was except for the fact that Democrats want to make a deal. It included aide of Israel, Ukraine, and Gaza, but otherwise there was very little most Democrats would want. Obviously, the House is more conservative in the Senate. It is where the so-called Freedom Caucus lives. They could take the bill and delete things they don’t like and add things they would like, but they have chosen to kill it instead. Why? Their fearless leader has told them to do so. We can’t solve our nation’s problems because if we solve those problems then we can’t campaign on them.

It is what happened next that kills me. The Oklahoma GOP voted to censure Lankford On the one hand, that means virtually nothing. A censure has all the weight of Barney Fife yelling stop in downtown Mayberry. It is the story it tells to all of us and their party members. He helped negotiate a deal and it was a favorable one to them. He is essentially being punished for governing. You may not like the deal he made. I get that. In that case you either simply vote no or you get involved and make the changes you think you need to be made. We don’t punish and scold people for governing. At least we don’t if we are a functional political party.

This is a good news and bad news kind of thing. We won’t have a deal on immigration. From the Democratic side, we can say at least we won’t have a bad deal. On the bad side, it means we will hear all kinds of crap about open borders, catch and release, fentanyl, and terrorists flooding over the board. It is all Brandon’s fault. We know better and we hopefully can get most voters to know that. Even if they believe the malarkey about the border being the wild west, they can at least get the idea that the Republicans killed their own bill. They would rather have a problem to point to than solve it. This is not how things are supposed to work, but then again I have slept since my political science classes.

A report came out recently about Lindsay Graham’s testimony to the Georgia grand jury. You are more than free to go down that rabbit hole if you like, but it will lead you to the same place we have been with all of these folks. They are on board and loyal until they aren’t. Usually that either entails them being fired or pushed out, but occasionally it happens when one of them finds themselves in legal hot water.

In the case of Graham, he spent months fighting off the Georgia district attorney. You couldn’t compel a sitting senator to testify. Donald Trump had immunity. He had immunity. His mee-maw needed him to wash her feet. He was due for a casting call at his community theater. Okay, maybe the last two were made up, but you get the general idea.

It wasn’t the testimony itself that was remarkable. We knew the truth and have always known the truth. I’m not crawling in the head space of any of his voters. I don’t know what they think they know and quite frankly I’m afraid to find out. However, I am reasonably certain that over 90 percent of those within the GOP that serve in office know exactly who he is and what he is capable of. They also know what he isn’t capable of.

For Graham, it was the reaction afterwards that was remarkable. He almost literally hugged Fani Willis in the hall outside the court room. He thanked her for allowing him to speak and get all of this off of his chest. So, let’s put some things together. He fought them tooth and nail to avoid testifying. He bad-mouthed them in the press and called the whole thing a sham. Then, he went under oath and confirmed everything they had said and even thanked them for the opportunity to say it. Just try to form your brain around that collection of facts.

One could be forgiven if they felt a desire to hitch their ride onto someone powerful. I can see it. Maybe there is a position in the cabinet for you. Maybe you can get on the most exclusive of golf courses or eat in the most exclusive restaurants. You get to stay at expensive resorts and live a life of luxury. Hell, you may even convince yourself you can do good by being in a position of authority. You can slide some good policy underneath the door when he’s not looking.

Yet, there is usually some loyalty that goes both ways in that situation. If I watch your back and run interference for you then you will do the same for me. That never happens in Trump’s case and it never has. That has been very public since 2015, but if you look hard enough you can see examples dating back to the 1970s. Everyone that deals with him personally describes this.

So, for those few demented or broken souls that know all of this and choose to flock to him anyway, we need to develop a distress signal. Maybe they can blink excessively or touch their nose in violent fashion. Give us a signal when you are in too deep and need someone to rescue you from your own avarice. On the other hand, staffers are already likely punching their nose because of his offensive odor. So, maybe they can grab their wrist or tug on their ear. I’m open to suggestions.