Even during the most depressing of political times, you could always count on the Republican Party to have entertainment supplied by political nincompoops. Republican always have at least one man who would do or say something so ridiculous that it distracted from anything serious that Republicans were trying to accomplish.

It was a sad day when we could no longer count on Madison Cawthorn after he lost his North Carolina primary. Cawthorn thrilled us all with allegations of insider trading, sexual hanky panky, improper payments, vandalism, bringing a handgun to the airport more than once, and appearing in a leaked nude video.  Nude is a polite word for stark raving buck ass nakkid.

And there was always Louie Gohmert, who was the East Texas congresscritter who appeared to be only vaguely familiar with the English language, did not believe in science, did believe the 2022 election was stolen and seriously asked if the Bureau of Land Management could please alter the orbit of the earth’s moon, or the earth’s orbit around the sun, as part of efforts to reduce the impacts of climate change.” Damn, we’re gonna miss him.

But as Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics (if the heat ain’t on you, it’s on someone else) commands, the vacuum of leadership in the nincompoop department is always filled.  Now we have newly elected George Santos of New York.

Thank you, Humor gods, for this man who made up his entire life and got elected.  We’re not even sure if it’s the truth that’s his real face he’s wearing.

Mere moments after pretty much the every Republican elected official in his district called for his resignation, Santos decided the appropriate response was to pick a fight with fellow Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger.  When Kinzinger tweeted that Santos should resign, Santos replied: “Go on CNN and cry about it.”

Well, that’s just real damn helpful and friendly.

Welcome, George.  Thank you for your efforts to destroy the Republican Party.

These get worse and worse every time you hear them. The victims get younger and younger and the shooters more and more alarming. This time it was a six year old that purposefully brought a gun to school and opened fire on his teacher. She survived the shot and hopefully will make a full recovery. Who knows if the 25 year old first grade teacher will want to teach again. These stories involve the worst parts of our collective humanity and yet they involve incredible acts of heroism. The victim had the presence of mind to successfully get most of the class outside the classroom. When she saw that she didn’t get everyone she went back for the rest. She deserves all of the medals and honors that any of us can bestow on her.

I began teaching in 1997. I was a mere 23 year old teaching kids as old as 18 and 19. Looking back, I shudder at how inept I was. I knew the material and did the best I could to deliver it, but nothing prepared me for the challenges teachers encounter every day. Over the years, I have had numerous successes and numerous failures. Yet, there was never a time when I seriously thought one of my students would want to hurt me. I certainly think some of my ex-students were capable of hurting others. I even had one student I worked with that was charged with murder. I’m not sure how that case is doing at this point.

No one goes into education expecting to make millions. My parents would regale us with stories about how they sold glass bottles back to the store to scrape the pennies necessary to buy groceries. Movie theatres would give them discounts and other businesses would as well. It was just understand that teachers would struggle. This is one of those deals where people in both parties talk about how teachers should make more. Obviously, some think we get enough already. I live a comfortable life. I could complain, but I really shouldn’t and can’t with any intellectual honesty. I’m not turning down more money, but money is not the biggest area of concern.

The biggest area of concern is how a six year old can get their hands on a 9 MM handgun and why they would feel the need to shoot their teacher. The rhetorical questions have answers, but none of them are satisfying. The other area of concern is to somehow reconcile the reverence people have for teachers and yet people outside the classroom interject their values and prejudices into it. Either you trust us with your kids or you don’t. I don’t think any kid really wants to shoot me, but I also don’t give them any reason to do it. Some teachers are more confrontational. Some teachers are more strict. That’s not my job, so I’m fortunate. Those teachers may have to be those things because it ultimately helps the kids in the end. I wouldn’t be foolish to say every teacher has the best interest of kids at heart. It’s an indefensible statement. Yet, that is the default position until proven otherwise.

We don’t need door control. We don’t need a cop in every hallway. We don’t need to wear bulletproof vests or arm the staff. What we need is common sense measures that will keep a six year old from having a 9 MM in his possession. It’s just one area where the rest of the world looks our way and scratches their head. We know what’s causing this and we know how to stop it. That’s only if we are being intellectually honest.

You’d think that Mike Pence would have learned a thing or two from TFG and apparently he did, just not anything helpful.

You’d think Mike Pence, having watched first hand TFG implode in a colorless rainbow of insanity, would have known not to repeat some of the same mistakes.

Well, you would have thought wrong.

Former Vice President Mike Pence’s Simon and Schuster autobiography “So Help Me God” was released Nov. 15, 2022, but on Nov. 9, Pence spent a hefty sum at an online bookstore, according to financial reports from the Federal Elections Commission.

In the fourth quarter of 2022, Pence showed that he spent a whopping $91,000 at Books On Call, LLC, the largest expenditure in his full financial report. The book then suddenly, or perhaps coincidently, scored a spot on the New York Times’ Bestseller’s List.

So, just like TFG and TFG, Jr, Pence got himself on the Best Seller List. The trick to this little scheme is that they use campaign funds to buy the books, but then get nice personal checks to themselves as their profit from the sale.  So, they make the Best Seller List and laundry money at the same time.

Cute trick.

For those of you reveling in CSPAN being able to put cameras on the House floor during the election of a speaker, there was a very special treat among many, many regular treats.

Mike Rogers, a Republican Congressman from Aladamnbama (begin cringe) is a McCarthy supporter with the worst toupee on God’s green earth. He confronted Matt Gaetz after Gaetz’s vote helped sink McCarthy’s 14th effort to be elected speaker.

This is television pic.twitter.com/wa0Zr4zdNZ

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) January 7, 2023

North Carolina Republican Richard Hudson pulled Rogers out of the confrontation – oh hell, let’s call it was it is – bayou brawl – after Rogers lunged at Gaetz.

Okay, but all that wasn’t enough for Republicans.

Oh no.

Tennessee Republican Tim Burchett opened his mouth.

“People shouldn’t be drinking, especially when you’re a redneck, on the House floor,” Rep. Burchett told CNN’s Kate Sullivan about the incident.

Juanita Rule: Rednecks should not be drinking period. Except maybe on the House floor. I mean, let’s be honest about this. Majorie Taylor Green is about two beers away from demanding they install neon lighting in the House and Chip Roy thinks every mechanical bull should be declared a national monument. We can’t have these people operating sober because they are dangerous.

But, Burchett wasn’t finished with his Redneck bedtime story. “I would drop him like a bag of dirt,” Burchett said about Rogers. “Nobody’s gonna put their hands on me. Nobody’s gonna threaten me.”

Burchett seems completely oblivious to the fact that nobody even wants to touch him.  And he, supposedly, was the sober one.

I have a tiny piece of advice for the Democrats. As I sit here, Kevin McCarthy has failed to gain the speakership after eleven ballots. The last time this happened (1923) the eventual speaker was elected after nine ballots. So, McCarthy has made history. Congratulations Kevin. Democrats have had their pictures taken with popcorn and thoroughly enjoying the whole spectacle. Tread lightly Democrats. The Republicans are disintegrating before our very eyes and you don’t want to be anywhere near them when they do.

No one likes a bully and no one likes someone that laughs at someone else’s misfortune. There is a time when the joke has gone on long enough and everyone wants to move on. The people see what is going on and the longer it goes on the less people need for anyone to spin it. The House of Representatives literally cannot govern until they elect a speaker and which each passing day the symbol becomes more and more emboldened.

Republicans are not interested in governing and they really can’t govern. Of course, one leads to the other, but I couldn’t tell you which one of those comes first. Think about Texas Republicans. They keep complaining about how liberals have ruined the state. They have been in power for 30 years. They’ve controlled the legislature, governor’s chair, and lieutenant governor’s chair every day this century. Yet, they blamed the power outage on renewable energy. It’s like the chef that goes to the market, buys the ingredients, preps the food, and then cooks the food blaming the meal on someone else.

They at least can seat leadership. The House can’t even do that. Democrats passed numerous bills over the past two years with narrow majorities in the House and an even Senate. During the Trump years they literally passed only one landmark piece of legislation in four years. So, just stay out of the way. Do not call any attention to yourselves. Don’t get caught enjoying the moment too much. The American people will learn a painful lesson before too long. Republicans are not serious actors and they won’t get any serious policy ideas from them. They are performance artists, carnival barkers, and frauds. The people will see it. You don’t have to break your arm pointing it out to them.

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