Dana Milbank writes the most heartwarming (tongue in cheek) story about Wayne LaPierre needing a new house.

After the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012, he and his wife bravely waited out the uproar on the pink-sand beaches of the Bahamas, part of $542,000 in private jet trips and personal items the NRA bought for him. And now, thanks to some delightful reporting by my Washington Post colleagues Carol D. Leonnig and Beth Reinhard, we know that last year’s Parkland massacre left LaPierre so fearful for his personal safety that he tried to have the NRA buy him a $6 million Frenchchateau-style mansion with nine bathrooms in a gated Dallas – area golf course community.

He told associates that he was worried about his safety and thought his Virginia home was too easy for potential attackers to find.

Oh, I know the feeling, Wayne – with all those damn guns out there not even your own personal armory can make you safe.

Some will see the hypocrisy in LaPierre trying to get the NRA to buy him a mansion in a gated community when the NRA, at the time of the attempted acquisition that LaPierre feels unsafe because of the very gun culture his policies have created.

Some?  Just some?

Hey, I suspect that ole Wayne needs some creature comforts in this lifetime because the devil is stoking up the flames of hell for his arrival.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

This is only partly political, but it is baseball and some crazy stuff.

Okay, first off, do not eat tacos at a baseball game.  Hell, I don’t even eat hot dogs on Dollar Dogs night, much less try to eat as many as I possible can at one time.  Tacos have hard sharp points to them.  Shoving them down your throat is like swallowing a garbage disposal while it’s running. Crispy tacos are meant to be eaten slowly with drinks of your favorite adult beverage in between bites.

I realize that minor league baseball is all about the entertainment, but for gosh sake, watching people go into severe digestive distress is surprisingly unpopular with the kiddos. So, you gotta wonder who came up with this idea.

Following this event, the Fresno Grizzlies, the farm team for the Washington Nationals, announced …

A taco-themed festival set for Saturday at the ballpark, “The Taco Truck Throwdown,” will go on as planned — but that event’s eating competition has been canceled, the team announced Wednesday.

Well, that’s just damn thoughtful of them.

I want remind customers that the Fresno Grizzles had to apologize to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for calling her among those who are “enemies of freedom.”

On Memorial Day, the Grizzlies played a famous speech by Ronald Reagan between games of their doubleheader against the El Paso Chihuahuas

As Reagan’s words extolling American values were heard, images were beamed on the scoreboard of North Korean tyrant Kim Jong Un, late Cuban dictator Fidel Castro — and Ocasio-Cortez, the outspoken first-term Democratic congresswoman from New York City.

They say it was a mistake. That’s what they say.

Oh y’all, Steve King is damned and determined to go out with a blazing star of the grossest crap you’ve never even thought about.

Get this:

Rep. Steve King said Wednesday that humanity might not exist if not for rape and incest, prompting the latest round of outrage at the Iowa Republican, who has a long history of making inflammatory remarks.

In a discussion at the Westside Conservative Club in Urbandale, Iowa, King was defending his position against laws allowing abortion exceptions in cases of rape and incest.

His position is that throughout history there’s been lost of raping and pillaging and incest going on and we can’t prove that we are not the eventual product of that.

Well, he has a point.  I’m pretty sure that Steve King is the product of incest because something ain’t right with that boy.

A spokesman for King did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the House member’s remarks.

Yeah, because he was busy chasing his sister in the backyard.

I have a team of housekeepers who come every two weeks and they have for almost ten years.  They work for a woman who cleaned my house for 15 years before that and then set up her own business.  She taught these women well.  They do a great job.

Maria, who is the head of my team, is here on a green card.  Between her limited English and my limited Spanish, we communicate well.  Her daughter, who was born here, is coming back to Texas from a summer internship in Georgia.  She will graduate in December from the University of Houston with a degree in mechanical engineering.  Her other daughter is a senior in high school, and plays varsity baseball.  She’s hoping for a baseball scholarship to St Mary’s in San Antonio.

Maria is terrified.  She is terrified that ICE will pick her up based on the color of her skin alone.  She is terrified they will revoke her green card.  She is terrified that some fool will try to solve Trump’s immigration “problem”  with military weapons at her grocery store.

She asked me to please vote for Beto.  Apparently, Beto is all over Spanish news television, through no fault of his own.  The news coverage of El Paso is heavy on Spanish tv.  It is awaking something large in the Texas Hispanic community.

I have stayed pretty damn quiet about my choice for Presidentup until now.  The truth of the matter is that I currently know of at least five, and maybe six, candidates I could get behind in a big way.

Kirsten Gillibrand isn’t one of them.

In a desperation, she is now offering t-shirts in exchange for a $1.00 donation. It’s a frantic effort to meet the donor threshold for the next Democratic debate.

If you ask me, they are way overpriced.

And she’d have to pay me a whole lot more than a dollar to wear one.

So, Ken Cuccinelli, the acting director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, is taking Trump’s immigration policy a little further than he probably – and I can only say probably because who knows anymore  – wanted to.

According to Cuccinelli, only people who were actually born on US soil can be citizens.

“No one has a right to become an American who isn’t born here as an American,” he said.

Bye, bye, Ted Cruz.  Sorry you gave us your Canadian citizenship.

I’m sure he said it by accident but let’s hold him to it.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.