Ted Cruz is very fond of saying that Robert Francis O’Rourke only uses the name Beto so people will think he’s Hispanic. Irony is dead, y’all, because Rafael Edward Cruz uses Ted because he doesn’t want people to think he is Hispanic.

And now Cruz is making much of O’Rourke for having been a punk rock band in the 90’s, where he made two albums, toured the US and Canada, and probably smoked dope and got laid.  Beto even got arrested for DUI once but the case was later dismissed.

Unlike Cruz, who still gets teased to this day for walking the halls of his coed dorm at Princeton wearing nothing but a paisley silk housecoat, which the girls found to be “creepy.”

Yeah, Beto is very well rounded and well liked, and that’s gotta drive Cruz nuts.  But mostly, Beto is a man of courage who would never sacrifice his father and his wife on the alter of Trump.

And since we’re speaking of winning Texas elections, don’t forget that the Juanita Jean PAC is accepting donations to pay block walkers for Beto and the entire Democratic ticket., including the young man running to be my congressman, Sri Preston Kulkarni.

By the way, here’s a recent picture of Beto taking the stage and holding his own with The Poet of Texas, Willie Nelson.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Oh y’all, Florida, where Trumpism squirts all over the place.  And where the dog whistles have become just regular whistles.  Or cowbells, maybe they are cowbells now.

New Republican nominee for governor, Ron DeSantis gave an interview on Fox this morning where he referred to the African American Democratic nominee as “articulate.”

And then, oh yes he does, he tells Fox News that we shouldn’t “monkey up” Florida by electing his opponent Andrew Gillum.

You think I’m jacking with you, don’t you?  Well, I am not.

Hey Ron, we hear you!

Thanks to S Gray for the heads up.

Remember Bob Dole, the guy who did the first Viagra commercials?  And ran for President once, I think. And he was always kinda creepy and you never did really trust him?

Well, you were right.  He has completed his destiny to become one of those Darth things in Star Wars.

Yeah, that’s Bob Dole.  And what ever became of him?

Well, it appears he is on the board of directors of a bank that is so corrupt that even the Russians won’t deal with them.  But, do you want to know who will?  Paul Manafort.

Yeah, a bank in Kyrgyzstan is money laundering machine for oligarchs.

As Global Witness’ investigation found, companies with accounts at AUB maintained “significant indicators that suggest money laundering: hundreds of millions of dollars seemed to be moving through their accounts while they were not engaged in any real business activity.” One company even apparently used a dead Russian to mask the identity of someone passing $700 million through the company’s AUB account.

And there sits Bob Dole on the board of directors.

Kinda reaffirms that voting for Bill Clinton for a second term was very wise.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.

Res Ipsa Loquitur is a legal term meaning, “the thing speaks for itself.”  It’s a complicated legal principle but it basically means “I don’t need to offer any further proof because – ta da! – there it is.”

Our friend Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen just sent me a story about res spa loquitur happening right here in America. And it is perhaps the best written story of the year.

Donald Trump’s official “independent ethics advisor” is a guy named Bobby Butchfield.  Bobby’s wife Teresa, who is 53 years old, got caught earlier this year making the ooh la la in a parking lot with a 23 year old inmate at the county jail. It all sounds very tawdry until I tell you that they made those sparks in the backseat of her Maserati, which gives in an undeniable touch of class.

It seems that she would bring him cigarettes and he would bring her. That’s all – just bring her.

Yesterday, she enter a plea of  no contest to the charges and paid the $2,500 fine, which is about the same she spends for lunch.

And when it’s all said and done, the straying spouse pleads out of all the crimes and walks away with a fine that amounts to pocket change and the inmate who thought they would get something out of this deal returns to jail with nothing but a couple cigarettes and cougar scratches.

And then comes a piece of word smithing so very fine …

When this chapter of American history draws to a close, this is where the GOP will find itself. Staring at an empty house and broken reputations while Trump skips into the sunset having trashed the office they gifted him and the MAGA hats will go right back to living hardscrabble lives and wondering why they never got anything out of this deal but 5 or 6 fleeting moments of excitement as they served as blowup dolls for the old rich people on the other end.

And that’s the truth.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for making my day.

I never, ever, in 400 dog years believed that I could ever say anything resembling kinda-nice about Jeff Sessions.

But, Damn, the rightwing has disowned that boy.

Jerry Falwell, Jr. and Gary Bauer are calling for Trump to fire sessions.

Junior

Jerry Falwell Jr., a top conservative religious leader, said Monday he urged President Donald Trump to fire Jeff Sessions over his handling of investigations into Russian election meddling, saying the attorney general has lost evangelicals’ support.

Okay, so Jeff Sessions has done one honorable thing in his whole pathetic life and now I know it’s honorable because Jerry Falwell, Jr. wants Session’s butt for it.

I have decided that the rightwing defends Trump so vigorously because they believe he’s going to bring about Armageddon. They might be right about that.