I’m beginning to think that Donald Trump needs brief appearances by a court jester to remind us that he could be crazier.  Remember five-day-man Anthony Scaramucci, who can best be remembered as loud, wrong, and had weird mannerisms.

Now fast forward to Rudy Giuliana, who is Scaramucci two.

My favorite among Giuliana’s explanations about how he can be so wrong about the funneling of money to pay Stormy is that he was “focused on the law more than the facts.”

“If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell.” -Carl Sandburg

Jimmy Kimmel has it right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA-fY2dr9jc&wpmm=1&wpisrc=nl_daily202

Start your Monday giggling.

Okay, see, I don’t know what this means.

Trump was speaking at a tax reform roundtable in Ohio and the subject of the wall came up.  What that has to do with tax reform beats the hell outta me, but Trump loves to talk about his wall.

So, here’s his new threat.

The President was in the midst of criticizing Democrats during a riff about border security when he slipped in the idea that people might “have to think about closing up the country.”

“They don’t want the wall, but we’re going to get the wall, even if we have to think about closing up the country for a while,” Trump said.

Okay, so what does that mean, close up the country for a while?  Maybe more importantly, who told him that he has the power to do that and where can I find them to knock them upside the head?  Does he think he can plant a CLOSED sign in Nebraska or some damn place and declare the United States closed?

Oh no, this wasn’t just a slip on the tongue.

Trump then mentioned the notion a second time, saying, “And we may have to close up our country to get this straight, because we either have a country or we don’t.

Here’s what troubling me.  The day Trump came up with this whole wall idea, I didn’t like it.  I think it’s a trick not to keep Mexicans out, but to lock me in.  I do not like the idea that my escape route is being closed.

And they say the third time is the charm, but not so here. He just had to talk about it one more time:

Trump also told supporters at a speech in Michigan last weekend that if Congress did not meet his funding demands for border security, he may support a government shutdown this fall.

All I hear is the sound of a spoon being beat on a high chair tray.

Yeah, go ahead.  Shut down the government during an election, Buddy.  Smart move.  Did Jared come up with that?

Thanks to Papa for the heads up. 

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Manafort is set to go to trial on July 10th.  None of it is about Manafort and trump.  All of it is about Manafort and Russia.

… he is accused in cases filed both in Alexandria, Virginia and Washington, D.C. of hiding the work he did for and the money he made from a Russia-friendly political party in Ukraine and former Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych.

In Virginia, he is also accused of concealing foreign bank accounts, falsifying his income taxes and failing to report foreign bank accounts.

In Washington, Manafort faces counts of conspiracy to launder more than $30 million, making false statements, failing to follow lobbying disclosure laws and working as an unregistered foreign agent.

As we say in Texas, he’s in a heap o’ trouble.

Now, here’s the fun part:  Yesterday, Mueller requested 70 blank subpoenas in preparation for the trial.  Yeah, seventy. That means the odds of you or me getting subpoenaed are better than average.

Thanks to Marcia for the heads up.

Just when you thought that it can’t possibly get worse, Don Blankenship decides to run in the Republican primary to be the person who faces off against Joe Manchin for the senate in West Virginia.

You’ll recall Blankenship as spending time in a federal prison when one of Massey Energy’s mines (where he was CEO) killed 29 miners.  On May 10th he will celebrate the one year anniversary of his release from prison.

It seems like criminal convictions are a requirement to run as a Republican.

You know, I liked English, the language of Shakespeare. I really beginning to miss it.

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Mot of y’all will remember Jade Helm, a army training operation that every damn nut job in Texas was convinced was a cover for Obama coming to take our guns and put us all in re-education camps.  They stormed city council meets and went to the State Capitol to scream and holler.

It was the end of the damn world, y’all.

They even got governor Greg Abbott to send out the Texas State Guard to monitor the army to make sure they didn’t sneak around stealing guns.

Oh Good Lord.  Even the day after the training was over and everything was okay, the nuts said it would have happened if they hadn’t been watching. And, you know, scaring crap outta each other and emptying the food shelves of Walmart.

Well, this is gonna make you so happy.

Austin, TX – Yesterday, Former NSA and CIA Director Michael Hayden revealed that Jade Helm 15 was a test-run of the first Russian disinformation campaign.

The former NSA and CIA Director reveals that Russia engaged in information warfare to convince Texans that Jade Helm 15 was an Obama planned military exercise to round up political dissidents. The story drew massive controversy as Texas Governor Abbott lent credence to conspiracy theorists by calling in the Texas National Guard to monitor our own U.S. Military.

Y’all, I personally know some of the idiots who were convinced that Obama was gonna use the military to take our guns.  And, for your entertainment value, the internet machine is filled with pictures.

They got pranked.  By Russia.

And the head dope?  Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott.

We’re gonna enjoy this.

 Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.