Archive for April, 2018

Fun With Guns: Winkie Edition

April 23, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Shawnee, Kansas, Where guns don’t shoot your penis off, people have a do-it-yourself kit.

Yeah, some unnamed man was being a badass when the gun in his pocket took care of that.

Police were called to an apartment in the Fox Run apartments, 10300 block of West 77th Street, just after 12:10 a.m.

Johnson County Med-Act transported the man to an area trauma center reporting he had shot his penis.

The man’s injury was described as serious, but not immediately life-threatening.

Sgt. Wilburn said police are still investigating exactly what happened and where it happened. The man did not tell police much about the incident.

Yeah, I suspect that after, “I shot myself in the winkie,” there’s just not much else to say.

Thanks to Jan for the heads up.

The Good Ole Days

April 22, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember when political disputes were settle by having a duel?

It’s back.  And it’s in Georgia.

Two political rivals in the Republican lieutenant governor primary are damn and determined to get the NRA endorsement.

Last week the NRA endorsed state senator David Shafer, saying he is “a voice for freedom and faithful friend to Georgia’s law-abiding gun owners” who offers “unwavering support for the Second Amendment.”

Well, that just pissed off former state Sen. Rick Jeffares, who says his family has been shooting things for generations and won international shooting contests and what not.  Hell fire, his family “even made a baby gender announcement by firing an AR-15 through a pink balloon.”  Okay, that’s just too creepy to think about for long, so let’s just move on to the duel part.

So Jeffares challenged Shafer to a shooting contest.  Sadly, it isn’t a Hamilton – Burr type of duel, but a clay pigeon-shooting competition because everybody knows the test of a true gun lover is about aim.

I am not kidding you.

According to Jeffares’ challenge, the loser of the clay shoot would bow out of the race. And it just so happens both candidates will be speaking at a fundraiser luncheon Friday at the Cherokee Rose Gun Club.

Shafer hasn’t agreed to the challenge, but that isn’t stopping Jeffares. “Let’s save the people of Georgia the hassle of wading through political TV ads and mail pieces and settle this contest today,” Jeffares said. “I’ll bring an extra 12 gauge in case he doesn’t have one.”

Sounds like a plan to me.  Can Dick Cheney come?  I ask because it’s obvious that both these guys need shooting in the face. I hear Cheney is good at that.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Taking Care Of Business

April 22, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Here’s the start of good news …

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the US government’s top consumer watchdog, hit Wells Fargo with a $1 billion fine on Friday for improperly charging thousands of customers for auto insurance they didn’t need — it’s the agency’s second-largest fine in its history …

… that quickly turns to stink worse than a goat on a crawfish diet because the Republican’s tax “reform” bill, but corporate tax rates from 35% to 21%.

According to a Goldman Sachs report from December, the tax cut will boost Wells Fargo’s profits by $3.7 billion this year.

We fine Wells Fargo a billion dollars so the Republicans wink and give them $3.7 billion for the trouble.

When you make ripping off consumers so damn profitable, we’re not gonna stop crooks.

Which may be the whole point.

 

Sunday Morning Toon

April 22, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I thought this was perfect for a Sunday morning.

Click the little one to see the big one.

 

Alex Jones Puts His Foot to the Floor – In Reverse

April 20, 2018 By: El Jefe Category: Alternative Facts

Now served with the Sandy Hook parents’ lawsuit, ol’ Alex Jones is backing up in a hurry.  He now admits the shooting did happen and actually had the gall to invite the parents onto his cheesy hatefest to “talk about guns”.   Screw you, pal, that’s way too little, way too late.  One of the best lawyers in Texas representing the Sandy Hook parents is coming for you and your wallet.

I’m popping popcorn and renting lawn chairs for anyone who wants to watch the show.  LOL.

The Obvious Result

April 20, 2018 By: El Jefe Category: China, Trump

It’s finally happening.  Trump’s policy pronouncements, probably tweeted while sitting on the toilet, have veered wildly from free trading to isolationist protectionism; from pro gun control to capitulating to the demands of the NRA; from attacking private businesses and the Post Office to insulting television personalities and petty feuds.  He’s threatened everything from nuclear war to global trade war.  He’s promised to eliminate the deficit while piling on an additional $1.5 trillion with the stroke of a pen.  He regularly threatens to jail political opponents.  He’s unstable, morally unfit for office, and basically living life in the White House as the cheesy reality television star he is.  In short, United States global policy has taken on the characteristics of a washing machine load of soiled towels, on high spin banging from side to side, only to be stopped by a power failure to make it all come to a halt before it floods the floor with filth.

In all of this chaos, Trump’s behavior has now become normalized.  The behavior of this shitbag infesting the White House has numbed our population to the most outrageous, totally corrupt conduct by any public official in US history.  His public speaking style is that of the ramblings of a moron.  He holds no standards of behavior; he has no foundation; he rambles incoherently about critical issues of national security; he has no grounding in true belief.  He’s a wind vane spinning wildly in the political winds.  He tweets a foundational principle – and within hours, he reverses himself.  He went after Amazon, claiming it was cheating the Postal Service out of billions of dollars and not paying sales tax.  Trump’s attack temporarily tanked the stock 15% or about $100 billion in market value.  His ranting about a trade war with China cost the Dow Jones 3,000 points.

The response of normal people? Depression. Fear.  Foreboding. The response of Trumpists who are just as goofy as he is?  Euphoria at the prospect of the second coming of the Man in the Sky caused by global chaos.  The response of the markets and other global powers?  Whipsawed.  Only, something changed after the on again off again threat of trade wars and attacks on Amazon.  After a year and a half of random idiocy, reversals, threats and nonsense, the markets have learned to ignore him.  He’s roiled the markets with wildly divergent tweets, numbing the influential with idiotic ramblings.  Those who pull the levers commerce have now learned to disregard his bullshit.  The market has learned that his random and wildly divergent tweets really have no basis except to garner attention for himself.  There is no basis in policy, no foundation, no ideology.  Our national policy has the same characteristics of that of a chimpanzee banging on a laptop keyboard.  He tweets simply for self gratification and attention.  Business leaders have learned that a random tweet doth not make policy – only when an adult (what few are left) speaks do they listen.  Otherwise they ignore His Orangeness.

For the first time, with the possible exception of the depths of the Watergate scandal, our country has no one at the helm.  The key lesson that I’ve learned is that the Founders so ingeniously designed our form of government that it can actually operate to some level with no leadership in the White House.  Its resiliency is further demonstrated by a hopeless deadlocked Congress which is also providing no direction, no responsible leadership, or even any common sense.

How long can we go like this?  Who knows, but my real fear is that as more and more people learn to ignore the rantings of the lunatic in the White House, his anger at being ignored will drive him to more and more outrageous conduct that will hopefully one day awake the Congress from its coma.  And that won’t be pretty.