Some time back I told you about my friends in Fayette County.  That’s a small rural community between here and Austin.  Two of my favorite people, Vickie and Cecil, live there.  Fayette County, strongly Republican, has damn interesting politics.

Last year, one of their Republican Justice of Peaces got arrested for a multi-state lottery theft.  They ain’t much trying to improve since then.

Last night, Cecil sent me a front page story in the local newspaper.  Since the newspaper is subscription based, Cecil sent me a picture of it.

You can click  here to enlarge it.

and keep reading by clicking here.

So, a lawyer was out stealing his opponent’s yard signs while he’s running for the office that would prosecute people for stealing yard signs.  But, you know, he told the truth about doing it, dammit, and offered to apologize.  That don’t work in the law books and you’d think a lawyer would know that. That’s what you’d think. And you’d think wrong.

So this morning, I asked Cecil how the election turned out.

The sign stealer came in third out of three.  If you look how bad the numbers are, he came in fourth out of three.

Vickie thinks he should have stolen more signs. Vickie is usually right about these things.

You know how the propaganda machine pumps out books during election years peddling bullshit as fact to rile up the base.  In past years, it was manure shoveled by the likes of Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly where they wove fantastical fairy tales claiming that up is down, left is right, and the sun rises in the west.  One magnificent piece of work is by Dinesh D’Souza, The Big Lie: Exposing the Nazi Roots of the American Left, where he does mental gymnastics to assert the case that American progressives were connected to Hitler and Nazi Germany.  It’s idiotic, especially to anyone who has even fleeting familiarity with high school world history, but a huge hit among the drooling class who slurp it up while filling D’Souza’s pockets with millions of dollars.

One new piece of work, written by David Brody, a reporter with the Christian Broadcasting Network, and Scott Lamb, a Baptist minister and biographer of Mike Huckabee and the baseball player, Albert Pujols is a new low in right wing manure.  It’s called The Faith of Donald J. Trump, A Spiritual Biography.  Wrongly classified as a biography rather than fiction, it spends 375 pages trying to convince the reader that Donald Trump, owner of casinos and topless bars, swindler, and world class philanderer, is actually a devout Christian.  You read that correctly – this work of fiction actually asserts Trump is a man of God.

There is one good thing, however, that has come from this book, and that is the review of it in the LA Times by Lawrence Downes, titled “Holy Crap – The ‘Godly Side of Donald Trump’ which contains some very meaningful insights about the book.  A few of his better quotes:

and this little tidbit,

“Decency, honesty, charity, humility: Who cares if the president does not manifest these things in what he says or does? Never mind the Lord’s commandments, like the ones forbidding idolatry, bearing false witness and moving on thy neighbor’s wife like a bitch.”

Unlike the actual book, this review is a great read, highly recommended.  I’m dubbing it Best Book Review Ever.

ProPublica has caught the Trump Organization ordering dozens of Presidential Seals to be used as…wait for it…tee markers for his golf courses.  Eagle Sign company (which makes tee markers) had posted a photo on Facebook showing the dozens markers in production. It has since been deleted.  And, yes, using the presidential seal for a commercial purpose is against federal law, exactly like you think it would be.  There’s simply no limit to Trump’s rude, crude, and crass use of the US government and the trappings of the presidency to make a buck.  Here’s the photo captured by ProPublica.

Thanks to my son for the heads up.

I want you to meet Georgia Republican Congressman (start cringing) Tom Graves. Tom and his legislative aide were out and about last week and at about 11:15 pm they noticed that the congressman’s car got robbed.

Two guns, a driver’s license, credit cards, birth certificates, a laptop and a Bible were among the items stolen from a parked SUV belonging to U.S. Rep. Tom Graves, R-Ga., according to Atlanta police.

Numerous personal items were reported stolen, including items inside a backpack belonging to Graves’ son and a purse belonging to his wife. Both bags were left in the back seat. Graves told police his congressional ID, numerous bank cards, a checkbook, passport and Social Security papers were also missing.

Good Lord, all we need is a fifth of scotch and it would be Hunter Thompson’s car.

If you, like me, think it’s weird that he was carrying around a guns and a Bible, think about this – social security papers, passports, and birth certificates?  In his car?  I’m telling you, this guy is up to no good.

Items were also removed from his wife’s purse and his son’s backpack that were in the backseat. Has anybody check their whereabouts? I mean, seriously, either this guy is running guns for the Sandinistas or just killed somebody and is trying to get out of the country.

Thanks to Chloe Bear for the heads up.

There’s another downside to being a conservative man – women think you’re an idiot.

Conservative men living in President Donald Trump’s Washington DC are complaining that liberal women in the city are unfairly judging them for their political beliefs.

Multiple conservatives who talked with Washingtonian say that they have had more trouble getting dates in the wake of Trump’s election in 2016 — and even if they aren’t Trump supporters, they are being tarred with the same brush.

Message to any conservative male:  Yeah, dude, you’re a dork, you smell funny, you have no sense of humor, you like to starve children, your pants don’t fit, you hate old people and veterans, denying health care to sick people is your hobby, you have stinkin’ taste in music, you shower with your cell phone, you want to control our bodies, you think your winkies entitle you to a bigger salary than we get, you believe trade wars are fun, and we have strong suspicions that the leader of your pack is not even human.

That’s why we don’t date you, much less procreate with you.  Go date Tomi Lauren and ask her to stop screeching.

Or, you could finally come out of the closet and date men.  No, wait.  That won’t work.  Proud gay men carry around 11 foot poles so they won’t have to touch you with a 10 foot one.