Y’all, it’s our favorite growling poodle, Louie Gohmert, Republican congressvarmint from deep east Texas.

Louie went on Fox News and explained trigonometry and performed brain surgery right there on the damn teevee, by gawd.

And then, as an encore, he attempted to one-up noted Republican scholar and part time congressman Bryan Zollinger by explaining Charlottesville.

Gohmert even claims there are “witnesses” who saw KKK and Black Lives Matters protesters get off the same buses in Charlottesville, implying they were simply paid actors by Democrats. Gohmert urged Trump to appoint an independent counsel to investigate Democrats, even though presidents do not, and cannot, appoint independent counsels.

Oh Honey, there’s movies.  Of course there’s movies.  And as a bonus, Louie explains how he could have saved America in 2005 but “they” wouldn’t listen to him.

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for Louie Gohment who always puts things in perspective.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up. 

Cheeto Jesus made an appearance with family members today on the Truman balcony at the WH to witness the solar eclipse.  Here is Trump and Melania:

So, here’s my question – Why did Trump come out to the balcony? Why did he (eventually) put on protective glasses to witness the solar eclipse? Why did he do that?  How did he know what time to come out and what the proper glasses were to protect his eyes?  Did he just make it up?  Did an evangelical pastor give him a prophecy?  Of course not; the answer to all these questions is science…astronomy, physics, math, astro-mechanics.  There was no guessing about it.  We knew exactly when the eclipse would happen.  There was even an app that could tell people by zip code when to watch.  It’s easy.

As we all know (except for a few ignorant flat earthers), the solar eclipse that transversed the entire US was predicted by scientists down to the second for each precise location where one might want to watch.  Scientists and engineers also developed the precise eye protection that was manufactured by the millions to protect people’s eyes from damage due to exposure to the sun.  They knew exactly what to do.  In addition to all that whiz-bang, scientists have already set the date and time for the next US solar eclipse in 2024.  The path is calculated, and the times are already known. That’s some bad voodoo if you ask me; or conversely, damn good science.

So, here’s the question – Why, when science and math nails the exact time and place of a solar eclipse that millions believe, that science about climate change is then dismissed out of hand?  What about medical science that develops vaccines?  What about immunology that predicts, calculates and fights pandemics of exotic diseases?

Donald Trump is one of the most cynical science deniers to ever occupy the WH.  While believing the science that predicts solar eclipses, or being completely confident in the astro-physics that calculates targets for our nuclear arsenal, why does he deny other science? Is he stupid?

That’s easy.  He is certainly stupid, but he’s also a narcissist that plays to the adoring hordes of ignorant shitheads who respond only to manure shoveled by the truckload.

Fake Media said you needed special glasses.

EIther that or no impulse control.

Your bet is a good as mine.

It’s in the news on the electric internet.

Republican Representative (cringing should commence here.) Bryan Zollinger from Idaho Falls, Idaho, took to Facebook linked to an article in the American Thinker (which is neither) that it is entirely possible that Barack Obama, George Soros, Terry McAuliffe, and the mayor of Charlottesville planned the whole thing, or a “shadowy cabal involving them all.”

“The conflagration in Charlottesville is beginning to feel like a set-up, perhaps weeks or months in the planning,” the author wrote. “We know that Obama and his inner circle have set up a war room in his D.C. home to plan and execute resistance to the Trump administration and his legislative agenda.”

What else would you do in a war room except plan a demonstration?

When pressed, Bryan Zollinger took a few steps backwards …

“I’m not saying it is true, but I am suggesting that it is completely plausible,” Idaho Falls Rep. Bryan Zollinger wrote on Facebook.

Okay, I am not saying it’s true that Bryan Zollinger is a fascist loudmouth with very little education and even smaller testicles who drowns kittens for fun, but it is entirely plausible.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

Politico reports …

He is figuring out a fall (yeah, of this year) appearance schedule that will “fill his campaign bank account with tens of millions of dollars.”

He has slated trips to both Texas and New York where he says he’ll split the fundraising with the RNC.  I guess the RNC will just have to trust him about that.

I am shocked, just shocked, that he has lasted this long, but my only comfort is found in knowing the rich and famous snubs are really upsetting him.

The University of Texas (HookEm!) removed the confederate statues in the middle of the damn night.

University president Gregory L. Fenves announced the decision late Sunday night, saying the “horrific displays of hatred” in Virginia had made it clear that Confederate statues had become “symbols of modern white supremacy and neo-Nazism.”

Robert E. Lee, Albert Sidney Johnston, John Reagan and former Texas governor James Stephen Hogg were all removed.  The Jefferson Davis statue was removed last year.  They will all be placed in the Briscoe Center for the Study of American History in Austin.

A couple dozen people showed up.  There were no problems.

Thing Two:  if you wanna tell us about your experience with the solar eclipse, here’s the place to do it.  I’ll get to see about 65% of it.

This morning, I called Momma – she’s 92 years old and lives in her own apartment with her own patio at an assisted living center. They serve breakfast and lunch every day. She fixes her own dinner.  I called her this morning to remind her about the eclipse.  I explained it would start about 11:45 and peak at 1:15.

“Well, I hate that,” she said, “because I go to lunch at 11:30 so I’ll miss it.”

“Well, Momma,” I replied, “lunch doesn’t last an hour and half.”

“Sometimes it does. None of us can hear so we have to repeat things a lot.”

“Well, Momma, I’ll call NASA and see if they can move it to 5:00.”

“No, that’s when I play dominoes so … you’re sassing me, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, Momma, I am.”

“Well, maybe they’ll have it at lunch.”

“Probably. They’re pretty much having it everywhere.”