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Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

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He wins.  Steve Stockman wins.

First we get him defeated at the voting booth.  Then we indict him.  But, bygawd, this is one libertarian/conservative who wins the prize.

Stockman spent his congressional career stomping and yelling about the damn government.  He wanted the government out of everything.  No government means good government.

Uh, until now.  He appeared in court yesterday and told the judge he only has $17 in his bank account so he can’t afford a lawyer.  He can’t work either since his job requires him to travel out of the country but he can’t do that while he’s out on bond.

The guy stole close to $1.2 million of charitable contributions.  He’s a scam artist.  But, he’s a master at scam artistry because he told the judge ….

Stockman told the judge he needed to dismiss his hand-picked lawyers from the elite firm of Smyser Kaplan & Veselka and ideally he wanted the court to re-appoint them to the case at the government’s expense. She said she’d consider the request.

She’d consider it?  Wait, wait, every other defendant in the courtroom gets what they get from the public defender system, but this guy wants us to pay for his fancy-pants hand-picked white collar crime law firm?  Oh hell, no.

So overnight this guy goes from wanting to destroy the government to wanting to buy lobster with food stamps, something he used to accuse others of doing?

Stockman admits that he owns a house, rental property, two vans and his wife makes $72 grand a year.  He can pay his lawyer.

I hate Republicans.  I really do.

Alabama Republican Governor Robert Bentley is in a heap of trouble, especially for a guy who claims he’s a Sunday School teacher.

He was an active member of First Baptist Church Tuscaloosa where he served as a deacon and a Sunday School teacher. At FBC Tuscaloosa, he has been the chairman of the board of deacons four times and a member of the Youth for Christ advisory board as well as the Family Counseling advisory board. Bentley was the 2009 recipient of the Christian Coalition of Alabama’s Statesmanship Award.

From there, we go directly to … oh, you know what’s coming already.

The 73 year old governor was having an affair with his top political advisor, Rebekah Mason.  He set up a non-profit with his campaign funds and was paying Mason through the non-profit.  Mason, who like Bentley is married, resigned last year over the revelation that they were doing … well, the wild thing.

This morning, the Alabama Ethics Commission, and yes, they do have one of those, announced that it has found probable cause that Bentley had violated campaign ethics rules and yes, they have those, too.

The commission said it “found probable cause to believe” Bentley violated the Alabama Ethics Act and Fair Campaign Practices Act — which is the state’s campaign finance law — after a yearlong investigation. The commission referred the matter to the Montgomery County District Attorney’s Office.

Poor Devin Nunes.  Look what you’ve done to him.  He’s had to step aside “temporarily” as chair of the House Intelligence Committee.

“Several leftwing activist groups have filed accusations against me with the Office of Congressional Ethics,” Nunes said in the statement. “The charges are entirely false and politically motivated, and are being leveled just as the American people are beginning to learn the truth about the improper unmasking of the identities of U.S. citizens and other abuses of power.”

And you’re gonna pay dearly for being mean to Nunes.

West Texas Obama-hating congressman Mike Conaway is taking over as chair.  He’s ethically challenged.  And in the Koch brothers herd.

And Conaway will be assisted by the lovely and charming Trey Gowdy.  Y’all, Gowdy sets off every fight or flight bone in my body.

I am willing to bet that this ends up with Gowdy and Conway banging each other over the head with gavels.

Gannon + Out = Good

Rick Perry + In = Holy Crap

Seriously, Rick Perry has replaced Bannon on the National Security Council.

Yes, Dancin’ Rick.

Y’all, I am sleeping under my bed tonight.

Uh oh.  Maybe nothing, but maybe something.

President Trump has removed chief White House strategist Steve Bannon from his role on the National Security Council (NSC), according to a regulatory filing dated Tuesday.

Bannon in January was elevated to a position on the NSC principals committee, in a shakeup of the council. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and director of national intelligence had their roles downgraded in the move.

The Joint Chiefs chairman and intelligence director are having their roles on the principals committee restored …

Oh hell, we gotta read tea leaves and tweets to know what’s going on.

My only concern is that he’ll appoint Ivanka.

UPDATE:

Reasons Bannon was taken off the Council:

1.  Did not realize that sobriety was important for the meetings.
2. Kept yelling “Incoming!” at the meetings and making fun of whoever got under the table first.
3. Geography was not his strong suit.
4. His turn to sleep with Putin.
5. Suggested adding one of those “Protected by ADT” stickers on the door and call it a day.

Come on, guys, you can come up with some.