My first thought was:

THAT FEELING WHEN…

Mommy is out of quarters.

Yesterday, Cheeto Jesus made a fool out of himself (very GWBesque) by clowning around in semi-truck parked on the WH lawn for a meeting of trucking company executives.  The memes immediately swamped social media.  My favorite:

• II have come to the logical conclusion that Republicans take Jerk Lessons.  Seriously, nobody can be that big a jerk on their own.

For example:  take Kansas Republican Senator Pat Roberts.  He made a joke yesterday that was absolutely not her-har-har funny.

As anybody who knows diddle squat knows for damn certain that men can get breast cancer, too.  Additionally, breast cancer is not funny.

He later apologized for it, saying mammograms “are essential to women’s health”  and he didn’t mean to indicate otherwise.

Yeah, but …

He supports the repeal of the “essential services” of Obamacare and that includes mammograms.

Senator Roberts, please make an appointment to visit your local Jerks Anonymous meeting.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I found this is my email box this morning.  I have Damn Tony’s permission to post it.

Howdy Juanita Jean —

This is Tony from Weatherford. We emailed a few times a way long time ago, then I fell silent. It’s because a Democrat got elected to some office or another here in Parker County (I think it was County Dog Catcher) and armed conflict broke out, then the Comanches took advantage of the situation and moved back here into the power vacuum and now they run everything. Internet service went to hell, but there’s now plenty of really great gambling available. So it’s sort of a tradeoff, I guess.

Anyway, I am seldom moved to write song lyrics. This might or not might be a good thing. But these are unusual times and I am provoked to do unusual things.

You can use this if you want to. I thought I had a copyright on this, then that Assange fellow got hold of it and soon it was all over the place. My lawyer said I didn’t stand up and claim my rights fast enough.

Trump’s Friend Vlad is Comin’ to Town
(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,”
only you have to get smashed on Trump Vodka first)

Oh, the Trumpsters gnash teeth
While The Donald doth blow
Who woulda thought Vlad’s
Running the show!
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Vlad’s making a list
Trump’s checking it twice
Russian cheese goin’ to the
Prez’s little mice
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Comey hears when Team Trump’s yakkin’
But Obama’s thrown the shade
You’d think Trump Tower would be more secure
But the phones are Russian made

Oh, that Michael Flynn dodge
And that Sessions sashay
There’s more maneuvers here
Than a Red Square May Day
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Trump’s never met this Vlad, now
‘Cept they’re close as close can be
Vlad keeps in touch thru email
Gets a lot of stuff from the DNC

Oh, Roger Stone’s drunk
And Kellyanne’s pissed
Ukraine’s in the can
But Trump’s gettin’ dissed
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

We’re buildin’ a wall
We don’t know quite where
He said Mexico
I want nearer Red Square
Trump’s pal Vlad is comin’
To town!

* * * * *
Lyrics by Tony King, melody by some girl I met on Russian Facebook who’s probably died by now under mysterious circumstances.

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Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

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