Okay, my deadline for OutSmart is approaching at the speed of light and I’ve hit a dead end.

I am doing the Top Ten Signs that Donald Trump Might Be Off The Deep End

10. You’re pretty sure he isn’t old enough to have freed the slaves.

9.  Claims to have more experience in foreign affairs than in extra-martial affairs.

8.  You’re almost certain that no one named Vladimir signed the Declaration of Independence.

7.  Claims that thick smog is actually an important drinkable source of vitamins and minerals.

6. Now claiming he never made any deal with Russia while he was the Australian Prime Minister.

5. Claims that nuclear war isn’t so bad after you get over the initial bright light.

4.  He starts adding syllables to words to make his accomplishments  seem more impressimilatude .

3. ?

2. ?

1. ?

Any ideas?

Thank you.

Texas Democratic State Representative Jessica Farrar is a damn hoot and smart to boot.

Since Republicans in Texas have decided to spend the entire session making abortion impossible and checking genitals prior to entering a restroom, Jessica decided that turn about is fair play.

Under her bill, men would be fined $100 for masturbating.

In proposing a fine for masturbation, Farrar says that if a man’s semen is not used to create a pregnancy, “then it’s a waste … because that semen can be used — and is to be used — for creating more human life.”

Farrar continued: “Men have to answer for their actions and so forth. So if there’s going to be an emission, it would have to be done in a hospital where the semen could be preserved for future pregnancies or it would be directly deposited into the vagina of a woman.”

Head on over and read some of the comments.  Prepare your soul for eye rolling.

Ruth Anne passed along this fun thing to do.  It’s called The Ides of Trump.

On March 15th, send a postcard to —

Your message on the back can be about anything – the military budget, the Russians, healthcare, you name it.

Take a picture of your postcard and post it on social media.

Let’s flood that sumbitch with people who are pissed off.

By the way, postcards are very effective.  You can buy them at the post office or make them yourself by cutting card stock into fourths.  The stamps are 34 cents for buy a mess of them.

Paul Ryan was on Face the Nation yesterday morning talking about the Republicans’ new anti healthcare bill they’re trying to sell to the American people.  Host John Dickerson tried numerous times to get Ryan to acknowledge that millions will lose their healthcare and that all major medical associations are opposing the measure.  Ryan engaged in his now familiar obfuscation with a big smile, repeating this most often used mantra of giving people “choice” and fostering “competition” in health care delivery.

Here’s the problem with the Republicans’ key economic assumption in their ideology.  Choice and competition come from a functioning free market.  You can call our healthcare delivery system in the US a lot of things, but “free market” is not one of them.  Here’s why:

Over 30 years ago, Michael Porter of the Harvard Business School developed a model to describe markets.  In his model, he describes 5 essential forces that control markets.  To be a fully functioning market, the power of buyers must be in parity with the power of the sellers.  At the same time, buyers must have alternatives from existing competitors, and those competitors must be continually under threat from new entrants into the market as well as new products or services that can substitute for the product already being sold.  An example: You want a car; you have numerous choices between new and used, expensive or thrifty.  You can buy online, you can buy from individuals, you can buy from numerous dealers.  You can check prices online, making the market relatively transparent.  As well, you can choose when you buy that car.  Or you can buy a motorcycle.  Or you can not buy a car and take Uber.  This market balance represents a relatively free market, subject to truth in advertising and financing laws.

Now, let’s look at our healthcare markets: Sellers (insurance companies and healthcare providers) dictate coverage and pricing.  The polices are intentionally complex and pricing is completely opaque.  In most Americans’ cases, EMPLOYERS pick which plan their employees can buy.  In this market, the sellers hold all the power and the buyers have only the choices that are dictated.  Additionally, the insurance markets are protected by state agencies, making it very difficult for alternatives to get into the market.  To make matters worse, when you’re sick, the LAST thing you have time or the inclination to do is price shop for healthcare.  Removing the market protections the ACA provides puts individual buyers at  the mercy of this cruel government protected market.  Republicans are trying to jam free market ideology into a market that is anything but free.  The cabal of insurance companies and healthcare delivery companies is impossible to to fight, especially by individuals.

So, with these clear market realities that make the Republican plan unfair and unworkable, what does that say about Paul Ryan’s argument for his plan?  There are two possible answers: 1) Ryan is stupid with no understanding of the realities of markets; or 2) He’s a lying sack of sh*t (sorry Momma) who is looking out for his base and the interests of his largest donors to the detriment of everyday Americans like you and me.

I’ll take Door Number Two, Alex.

Late last week Illinois Republican Rep. John Shimkus got steamed at Pennsylvania Democrat Mike Doyle.

Shimkus was powerfully upset with the “mandate” in Obamacare that men have to pay for pre-natal care.  I suspect that’s because in Republican-World, men don’t have anything at all to do with pregnancy nor do they benefit in any manner whatsoever in healthy women or healthy babies.

Democrat Doyle pointed out that there is no such thing as a la carte insurance and that insurance companies don’t give you a list of what you want covered.  But, hollers Shimkus, that’s what I want! He wants people to be able to negotiate with the insurance companies for what things they want covered.

That’s stoopid. There are diseases and viruses that don’t even have names yet. Plus, can you even imagine – “Yes, you are covered if you get struck by lightening but not if your friends gets struck by lightening and then touches you. There is no touch clause in you policy.”

Republicans are idiots.  Idiots with testicles that I should not have to pay for.  Welcome to reality, Mr. Shimkus, your insurance premium on testicular cancer just doubled.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Please allow me to introduce you to Congressweazle Kevin Brady, another Republican from east Texas.  Brady had long been known as one of the best friends of the Texas Alcohol Commission because he single handedly tried to drink all the alcohol in Texas.

In 2005, he plead no-contest to DWI in South Dakota.  He got a $350 fine and his right to drive in South Dakota was suspended for 30 days.

He’s kinda a jerk.

Last week, Brady’s PAC, the Making America Prosperous PAC, got a letter from the Federal Election Commission saying that his financial report was a damn mess.