Today’s winner of SuperPAC Fun is a PAC called Save America From Its Government.  If you suspect it’s not a Democratic PAC, you have a pretty good shot at being right.

Datwyler

The PAC was set up by Thomas Datwyler, and gives a Plano, Texas (think Dallas suburb) post office box. Datwyler works for a political consulting firm that is so white that they don’t even have to buy light bulbs. Datwyler used to be the comptroller for Marco Rubio’s campaign, and he runs several other GOP PACs because SuperPACs mean Super Duper Money. As far as we know, Datwyler has no connection to Plano, Texas.

In four days, the Save America From Its Government PAC spent $1 million on pro-Trump advertising.

Now all this is perfectly legal.  Everything is on the up and up.

But it gets real cute.

Beal

Enter Andy Beal. Andy Beal is an oilman who is often called, “The Richest Man in Dallas”. He was named to Trump’s economic advisory team after he gave Trump $100,000.  Andy Beal describes himself as a poker player and a banker.

The Beal Bank has a branch in Las Vegas, but is headquartered in, you guessed it! – Plano, Texas.  The Beal Bank is where Save America From It’s Government deposits all their money.  So, Mr. Beal the billionaire is making money off of Donald Trump.  Best part – it was meant to be a stealth PAC.

Thanks to my big time investigative journalism skills, I have discovered that it’s an 18 minute drive from the Save America From Its Government private mailbox in Plano to The Beal Bank in Plano.

That’s handy, ain’t it?

Bottom line:  If Andy Beal hadn’t used his own bank for the PAC’s campaign depository no one would be able to find out that he was behind it until the Super PAC files it’s first FEC report on October 15th – three weeks before the election.

And what can we learn from this?  Just because his breath smells like bananas don’t mean he’s Tarzan.  Sometimes he’s just bananas.

I am staying at home tonight to watch the debate with Bubba.  I might have trouble not cussing and I don’t have any friends who would not tell Momma.

I have invitations to debate parties for the other debates but this one – alone with Bubba.

UPDATE:  Sorry, I accidentally erased the update.  So, I’m starting over.

Just published:  $2.3 million in Trump tax evasion.  Thank you, Washington Post.

Oh, and there’s more ….

The Trump campaign filed a report with the FEC describing this dude as “retired.” Retired, my sweet patootie.  Russian oil executives don’t retire.  Making a false statement to the FEC is a violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1001.

Y’all, I would like to apologize for our Lt. Governor Dan Patrick being a damn fool.

Our legislative session starts in January every two years.  Tragically, 2017 is one of those years.  The Lt. Governor oversees the Texas Senate.

We have a few minor problems in Texas.  We are next to last in education. We are first in uninsured children. Our maternal death rate has doubled, making it twice what it is in Turkey and Chile. Our roads and bridges are crumbling. A quarter of Texas children live in poverty.

And what is Dan Patrick concerned about?

There ya go.  This man is burning rocket fuel to Crazyville.

You can write this on the barn with waterproof paint:  Dan Patrick thinks about sex waaaaay too much.

I’ve heard from several of you wanting to know if I’m okay because I live close to Houston.  Yes, I am fine and so are all of mine.  Right now, it appears that no one was killed except the shooter (this is what they are telling us now).  People were shot in their cars, so it appears to be random.

I’ll let you know if anything changes.

I don’t care what you’ve heard this election year, this is the best denial ever —

The Denial Champion

Louisiana State Treasurer John N. Kennedy (R), considered the front-runner, issued a statement that began: “I want to be very clear that my campaign played absolutely no role in creating this story alleging Congressman Boustany’s sexual relationships with prostitutes that were later murdered, his staff’s alleged ­­­in­volvement in running the bar and hotel where this illicit behavior took place, or publishing the book.”

I also know nothing about him killing kittens, mooning busses of school children, or trying to marry sheep, although admittedly, it was an attractive sheep.  I also have no reason to believe that he only bathes once a month and wears a garter belt under his loose-fitting pants.

Yeah, there’s a backstory.

They are both Republicans so it’s enjoyable.

Dan Patrick, Texas Lt. Governor, has just given up on making sense in normal earth terms.  He’s making sense in terms of who even gives a damn anymore.

In an interview in Austin last week, Patrick explained something in non-scientific, non-reasonable, and non-correct terms and, bless his heart, he succeeds beautifully.

The five Dallas police officers killed in July would still be alive if the Black Lives Matter movement didn’t exist, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick said Saturday, and he does not regret criticizing protestors for organizing the march against violence that ended in tragedy.

Yes, and if the World Trade Center didn’t exist, there would never have been a terrorist attack on America.  And Blue Bell Ice Cream would not be poisoning people again if we just didn’t talk about the poison in their ice cream.

Patrick was widely criticized after the deaths when he called protesters “hypocrites” for rallying against the same law enforcement officers that were providing security in downtown Dallas.

Patrick admits that was not a smart thing to say, but only after someone told him, “Son, that just butt ignorant.”

“No excuses because I don’t take back anything I said, by the way,” he told Tribune Executive Editor Ross Ramsey during an onstage interview at the Texas Tribune Festival. “I used the wrong word. Condemn me if you want.”

That kind puts your brain in a knot, doesn’t it?  “I don’t take it back.  I used the wrong word, but get on your damn high horse and condemn me.”  Uh, people usually want to take back wrong words.  And, uh, what exactly would be the right word he was looking for?  Does Dan need a thesaurus to look up hypocrite?  Is that what he means?

He needs an interpreter.