Newt, y’all.

Newt Gingrich stepped up to defend Donald Trump, mainly because if Trump isn’t elected, Newt still won’t have a job.

Former Speaker Newt Gingrich on Wednesday defended Donald Trump’s remarks about a former Miss Universe’s weight gain, blaming the woman for gaining the weight.

“You’re not supposed to gain 60 pounds during the year that you’re Miss Universe,” Gingrich told a Log Cabin Republicans event in Washington, according to the Daily Mail.

I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s not her fault that Donald Trump behaved like a jerk and called her names.  That’s on him, Newt.

And then to offer proof that irrational paranoia is contagious, Newt continued …

Gingrich also said Hillary Clinton’s campaign and the media were working together to lay “the Machado trap,” which he said was “a trap that was set up for three or four months.”

“News media were lined up to run articles the second Hillary said something,” he said, according to the Daily Mail.

“The media” is not one big giant breathing organism who all play well together and never, ever leak information.  I mean, in the real world, not just Newt’s head.

I’m no highly paid political professional like Kellyanne Conway, but I kinda think that the chubby guys need to shut the hell up about this.

Please meet Randy Rainbow —

Enjoy!

The New York Times went out and talked to some women about the debate.  Most liked Hillary.  However, one women might should have thought things through before she spoke …

Not everyone thought Mr. Trump appeared unprepared for the White House.

Barb Haag of West Chester, a retired teacher of the emotionally disturbed, said Mr. Trump’s interruptions did not bother her. “Kids interrupt you all the time if they have a point to make,” she said.

Yeah, Barb, that’s what we’re saying.  Exactly what we’re saying.

Okay, okay, here’s the deal about Donald Trump and his $10,000 portrait purchased by his foundation and is currently residing at his golf course.

Take a deep breath.

An adviser to Donald Trump on Tuesday offered a new explanation for why a portrait of Trump — paid for by the Republican nominee’s charitable foundation — wound up on display at a Trump-owned golf resort in Florida.

Trump, the adviser said, was actually doing his charity a favor, by “storing” its painting on the wall of a bar at Trump National Doral, outside Miami.

The adviser may not be sober but he’s serious.  I warned you to take a deep breath.

“It’s hard to make an IRS auditor laugh,” Brett Kappel, a lawyer who advises nonprofit groups at the Akerman firm, said in an email. “But this would do it.”

Actually, it makes my eyes roll back in my head.

Here’s my question:  if he’s just storing it until he uses it for a chartiable reason, what the fool tarnation does he plan on doing with it?  Hey, last I heard Vicente Fox was looking for a new dart board.  Or he could donate it to the Carter Foundation to be used for drywall.

Y’all, Alabama Republican State Representative (you’re cringing already, huh?) Ed Henry learned to tweet and tweet he did.

First off, I wonder why Ed Henry doesn’t have a last name. Hell, it’s Alabama where everybody has two first names but generally they also have a last name.  If his last name is Henry, then he gets three names, like Eddie Joe Henry or Billy Ed Henry.
Second here is a picture of Ed Henry Something.

Maybe it’s just me, but he kinda looks like he needs to back off the caffeine.

And not to be outdone by Alabama, former Texas Congressman Steve Stockman also tweeted during the debate, adding to the proof that Republicans aren’t sexist.

Classy, boys, real classy.

Thanks to Rufus Firefly and Paul for the heads up.

I’ve told you guys before that I live dangerously close to Houston.  It’s comfortably close during baseball season, but dangerously close when it’s not.

Today, I am happy that Houston is my neighbor.

They are doing voter registration at Taco trucks.

Accordingly, The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. is declaring election day to be Taco Tuesday.

Please feel free to share this with anyone who loves tacos.

Thanks to JAKvirginia for the cool graphic.