Archive for August, 2016

Of Damn Course

August 06, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If you’ve been having your hair done here for a while you’re very familiar with Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller.  He’s so crooked that they are gonna have to screw him into the ground when he dies.  He’d have to study-up to be an imbecile.

sidmillerNot only that, he’s a cow short of a herd.  You know, like the time he wanted to bomb “Muslim” like we did Japan.  Or when he wanted to add guns and ammo to our state’s back-to-school tax-free weekend because, get ready for this, kids can now carry guns on college campuses. He spent taxpayer money to go to Oklahoma to get a “Jesus shot.” He wants to form a posse and fight the “invasion” from Mexico. He compared Syrian refugees to rattlesnakes. He threatened to slap people who say, “Happy Holidays” to him. And merrily signed up Ted Nugent as an advisor.

And all that was before sunrise.

So what does Ole Sid do to top all that?  Well, Honey, there’s nothing else he could do to put his unique skill set to valuable use.

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller said Friday he is working with GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump’s campaign to help lead an agriculture team.

“Of course my emphasis will be carrying Texas for the ag industry for Trump,” Miller told Hasty. “Personally I think Donald Trump will be great for agriculture.

I do not know what “carrying Texas for the ag industry for Trump” means, not do I want to because I am certain it has something to do with Snakes on a Nuke.

Thanks to Donna for the heads up.

What’s the Matter with Trump?

August 05, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

It’s hard to classify Donald Trump according to standards most of us would easily recognize. As a trust fund baby, he’s a work-a-holic. As a builder, he has mostly stopped building.   He was a bust as a casino owner (the “house” lost!).  The Republican candidate for the Presidency eschews Republican orthodoxy. He flouts more GOP leaders, pundits and lawmakers than he does Democrats.

Some people might see these as the signs of an iconoclast. Some might see them as the characteristics of an incipient strong man. Some might see them as the standard foibles of a poor little rich kid. Some might see them as marks of genius. Some might see them as symptoms of a deeper, darker pathology. Some might see them as GOP SOP to the Nth degree.

All of those are true.

Whatever set of circumstances led him there, Donald Trump has such a fragile ego, he is so beset by his own shortcomings, that he has spent a lifetime trying to convince himself and others that there ARE no shortcomings. Rather than being sub-average, or just average, or even slightly-above-average in anything, Donald Trump must be SUPERLATIVE in everything. His every pronouncement reads like a 4th-grader’s MadLib of self-congratulation: “I [am/have] the [superlative adjective] [personal characteristic] ever.   My [noun] is the [superlative adjective][noun] of all time. You will be so tired of [superlative adjective][verb+”ing”] you will ask me to stop. Believe me!”

trump hands

My whatever is [superlative adj] your whatever.

In order to build himself up, he must tear others down. Striking back at anyone who criticizes, hurts or bests him is not just a base strategy, but an autonomic reflex. It is literally a self-defense mechanism, because the crystal palace he’s built in place of a healthy ego is made of brittle, brittle glass. One small crack, and the entire edifice complex comes tumbling down.

trump borg

You’re either a part of me, or you’re against me.

The only compliments he reserves are for people, places or things (nouns) that he sees as complimentary to him, or as extensions of himself. This is the deepest reach of his pathology, his narcissism: the value he attaches to anything is only as an extension of his ego, as a part of himself.   It’s why he slaps his name on anything that sits still long enough. It’s not possession; it’s assimilation.

With this as a foundation, all the rest of it follows. Any institution or sacred cow that is not the Donald must be torn down: iconoclast. Anybody not me must be weaker than me or beaten down: strong man. I deserved to be born to privilege, and I deserve even more, and I will pound my spoon on my highchair until I get it: poor little rich kid. I may be an idiot in most things, but I can fake my way past most Americans and bullshit, bluster and browbeat smarter people into making me look good, to the point where they give me a TV show and pay me for the use of my name and even nominate me for President: savant syndrome.

But none of this would have been possible if the GOP had not laid the groundwork for just such an empty suit. If you begin with the premise that everything that is “us” is good and everything that is “them” is not just bad, but an existential threat to “us” and then design a political strategy around it, you end up with the Republican Party of the past 30 years. It doesn’t matter what policy we promote, so long as it is the opposite of “them.” It has grown over the years to proportions that would be laughable if they weren’t so sad. The well-known meeting on the night of Obama’s first inauguration to plan the obstruction that would limit him to one term merely formalized a strategy that had been in place for years.

Each aspect of this strategy – the anti-minority legislation, the anti-immigration stance, the anti-gay hatred, the anti-science rhetoric, the anti-education antipathy, the anti-democracy suppression – is designed to empower and cajole a certain segment of the electorate to provide an unreasoning, unreasonable “base” that will vote for them without looking too closely at what’s going on, certainly without dispassionately reviewing two sides of a policy issue.

But now it’s become not “liberals stand for everything I hate” but rather “I hate everything liberals stand for.” And that is the end of discussion and compromise. It’s why you have the cognitive dissonance of Obamacare and Cap and Trade – both born of Republican ideas – being anathema to the very party that bore them. It’s why Donald Trump can know nothing about an issue and take both sides of it in the same conversation, and not leave his base voters scratching their heads and wondering if this guy has a screw loose or something.

Spoiler Alert: YES!!!

Spoiler Alert: YES!!!

Donald embodies all of that and takes it far beyond the pale. “Not us” is bad, not from the tribal sense that they are “not us” but from the Trumpian narcissism of “us” just being an extension of “me.” These things are not an existential threat to the hegemony of “us” but an actual existential threat to Donald’s rickety glass house of a soul. It explains why his policies do not settle somewhere to the right of center or to the left of center. Because a policy becomes good as soon as Donald likes it, and bad as soon as he doesn’t.   The Democratic Party is not “them;” they’re “not me.” The Republicans who refuse to play ball are not erring members of “us;” they’re just “not me.” It’s why his children are so extolled and trusted by him: literally half their DNA is his; they are actual physical manifestations of Trump’s “ME.” Of course he’d date his daughter: it’s the closest he can come to actually dating himself!

If the man got breast implants, I doubt he’d ever leave his room.

Can we take up a collection?

Can we take up a collection?

Seen through this lens, then, the Republican half of the Trump phenomenon makes so much sense. But this construct was lost on virtually everyone, most especially the media. They treated him like a rational actor in the political game.   But he’s not playing by the same rules, he’s not searching for the same outcome. Trump wants to be President not so that he can rule the world.

He wants to be President so that, once and for all, he can say he is the greatest winner of all time. Once and for all, everyone will have to give him respect and take him seriously. Once and for all, his fragile ego will have Secret Service protection.

Donald Trump wants to be President so that, once and for all, his false sense of superlativity will feel true.

I’m Telling You, They Just Can’t Help Themselves

August 05, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I’m not saying that all Republican elected officials are perverts, but … oh hell, the odds are in that favor.

zWfnZNcMeet the Mayor of Stockton, California, Republican Anthony Silva.  Silva is a Super DeLux Brand New and Improved Christian.  In fact, he gave the key to the city to God.

Look, I’m not trying to be disrespectful here, but it seems to me that God doesn’t need a key.  I think God has a holy spirit that can just walk right through doors.  I also have heard, but can’t prove, that God is omnipresent so giving him a key is a nice but totally unnecessary gesture.

Personally, I think the mayor made that gesture to make people think he’s something he ain’t.

The mayor of Stockton, California, was arrested on Thursday on a felony eavesdropping charge stemming from a strip poker game he is accused of surreptitiously recording at a summer camp he hosts for disadvantaged inner-city children, prosecutors said.

Mayor Anthony Ray Silva, 41, was also charged with three misdemeanor counts – contributing to the delinquency of a minor, child endangerment and furnishing alcoholic beverages to individuals under the legal drinking age of 21, according to a criminal complaint filed in court.

I don’t suppose he gave God a key to summer camp.

In all fairness, Silva’s lawyer says he’s not guilty and that this is a political set-up.

Asked whether Silva was playing strip poker with youths from his camp, Reichel replied, “I highly doubt it.” Reichel added, “I can’t wait to fight them in court, so we can expose the epidemic of kids at summer camp playing strip poker.”

Yeah, I had to read that twice, too.

The mayor was trying to “expose the epidemic of kids at summer camp playing strip poker.”  Yep, their defense is that the mayor is the Dudley DoRight of strip poker right there in his own cabin.  Praise Jesus for Republican men and their investigations.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

No, We Don’t Need a National Conversation. We Just Need You to Shuddup.

August 04, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Paul Ryan’s Republican opponent makes Louie Gohmert look like a damn Mental Health Poster Boy.

Get a load of this:

Screen Shot 2016-08-04 at 3.30.45 PMThe Republican challenging House Speaker Paul Ryan said this week that the US should debate deporting all Muslims from the country.

“I’m suggesting we have a discussion about it. That’s for sure,” Paul Nehlen said on 560 AM’s “Morning Answer” in Chicago, when asked whether he would support deporting every Muslim from the country. “I am absolutely suggesting we figure out how do we, we — here’s what we should be doing. We should be monitoring every mosque. We should be monitoring all social media.”

Son, we already debated that.  It lost.  We even fought several wars to keep it from happening.  Where the hell were you?

However, it does kinda explain why Donald Trump supports him and even Pence called for “new leadership.”  This guy makes Trump seem reasonable.

His attack on Sharia Law is totally nonsensical.  Does he oppose Canon Law or Ecclesiastical Laws?  Those are church laws that don’t make a hill of beans difference in my life.

 

It’s That Time IMPORTANT UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM

August 04, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Here I am, hat in hand.

I’m here with Glen Maxey asking you once again to donate to send Ballot By Mail applications to Texas voters over the age of 65.  There are small counties in Texas where voting in person means a long drive and facing a prissy election official who sleeps in a Donald Trump tee-shirt just to piss you off.

Grandma and Grandpa need you to send them a vote by mail application. $100 bucks will put an application in 420 senior mail boxes. $50 gets 210. $25 gets 100. Adopt a whole rural county for $50 bucks!

You donate here and you know exactly what you get.  There is no overhead.  There is no waste and it’s all done by volunteers.  Your $25 gets 100 ballot my mail applications mailed to seniors in Texas.  That’s the best bargain you’re gonna get this entire election season.

If you had rather mail a check, send it to:

Glen Maxey
PO Box 116
Austin, Texas  78767

Click here and let’s get this sucker done.

Here are the counties that need adopting.  Pick one (or more) and make a comment that you’ve done a Texas County Ballot By Mail Rescue!

Reagan 5 $2.10
Armstrong 6 $2.52
Sherman 6 $2.52
Loving 6 $2.52
Oldham 7 $2.94
Ochiltree 8 $3.36
Hemphill 9 $3.78
Borden 11 $4.62
Hartley 11 $4.62
Kimble 15 $6.30
Shackelford 15 $6.30
Lipscomb 18 $7.56
Cochran 19 $7.98
Real 20 $8.40
Irion 22 $9.24
Briscoe 24 $10.08
McMullen 24 $10.08
Menard 25 $10.50
Wheeler 25 $10.50
Motley 28 $11.76
Dallam 28 $11.76
Edwards 29 $12.18
Dickens 32 $13.44
Martin 32 $13.44
Mills 34 $14.28
Yoakum 34 $14.28
Collingsworth 36 $15.12
Coke 36 $15.12
San Saba 37 $15.54
Parmer 40 $16.80
Carson 41 $17.22
Kenedy 41 $17.22
Cottle 44 $18.48
Donley 44 $18.48
Concho 45 $18.90
Somervell 49 $20.58
Garza 50 $21.00
Jack 52 $21.84
Kent 53 $22.26
Childress 56 $23.52
Callahan 58 $24.36
Baylor 58 $24.36
Bailey 62 $26.04
Winkler 63 $26.46
Moore 67 $28.14
Archer 68 $28.56
Hamilton 70 $29.40
Knox 71 $29.82
Mason 71 $29.82
Sutton 76 $31.92
Clay 81 $34.02
Crane 81 $34.02
Foard 82 $34.44
Gaines 83 $34.86
Schleicher 83 $34.86
Stephens 86 $36.12
Coleman 87 $36.54
Gray 91 $38.22
Rains 91 $38.22
Hall 92 $38.64
Floyd 93 $39.06
Hutchinson 93 $39.06
Franklin 94 $39.48
Montague 97 $40.74
Lynn 97 $40.74
McCulloch 98 $41.16
Runnels 101 $42.42
Terrell 103 $43.26
Scurry 109 $45.78
Andrews 112 $47.04
Stonewall 121 $50.82
Hockley 126 $52.92
Eastland 127 $53.34
Hardeman 129 $54.18
Hudspeth 137 $57.54
Young 145 $60.90
Castro 149 $62.58
Leon 153 $64.26
Sabine 153 $64.26
Upton 153 $64.26
Terry 168 $70.56
Blanco 169 $70.98
Erath 170 $71.40
Mitchell 171 $71.82
Deaf Smith 172 $72.24
Comanche 174 $73.08
Lamb 180 $75.60
Madison 181 $76.02
Brown 187 $78.54
Jeff Davis 205 $86.10
Haskell 223 $93.66
Lavaca 225 $94.50
Bandera 234 $98.28
Culberson 238 $99.96
Live Oak 241 $101.22
Austin 243 $102.06
Crosby 244 $102.48
Cooke 245 $102.90
Wilbarger 245 $102.90
Wise 268 $112.56
Palo Pinto 269 $112.98
Swisher 269 $112.98
Tyler 271 $113.82
Bosque 272 $114.24
Delta 273 $114.66
Jackson 277 $116.34
Jones 277 $116.34
Kinney 278 $116.76
Dawson 284 $119.28
Lampasas 286 $120.12
Crockett 294 $123.48
De Witt 299 $125.58
Fannin 307 $128.94
Trinity 311 $130.62
Llano 314 $131.88
Goliad 321 $134.82
Howard 324 $136.08

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  With your help, we’ll flip Texas!

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Honey, So many Republicans are jumping ship that Celine Dion’s going to sing the theme song.

So here’s the deal:  We are having a lottery on “When Will Donald Trump Resign Off The Republican Ticket?”  The lottery is open to any who donates to the cause – even $2.10 for poor little Reagan County where’s there’s only 5 Democrats over the age of 65 and you should feel real sorry for them, dammit.

From now on, post that you’ve donated and what date you pick between now and election day that Trump will withdraw.  If you’ve already posted, repost with the date of your choosing.

First Prize: a Donald Trump tie.

Second Prize: two Donald Trump ties.

First prize may be exchanged for a tee-shirt I will order for you have have delivered to your front door from this joint.

There ain’t no second prize so go for the gold, Honey!

Thanks to Charles for the good idea.

Please Feel Free to Steal and Pass Around on Social Media

August 03, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

MakeMeGreatAgain

 

Thank you, John.