Okay, when I saw this headline about Dan Patrick …

… I thought to myself, “He has walked-back so many things that, hopefully, he’s finally crossed the border into New Mexico.”

Not to be.

It’s not so much of a walk-back as a Look At Me I Saw Dead Bodies.  I swear to the Good Lord above that Dan Patrick holds the land speed record for going between vicious hater to victim in .04 seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBtQlSFqor4

Patrick was not the only person at the hospital that night. None of the rest of them immediately started bloviating to the worst instincts of those who want to destroy America.  For example, Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings, a proud Texas Democrat, was at the hospital and instead of tweeting, he called for a prayer vigil.

So, then Patrick shoved people aside to be on the front row of that prayer vigil.

Either you have what it takes to be a leader or you don’t.  Mike Rollins has it. Dan Patrick doesn’t.

Sumbitch.  He’s a worthless sumbitch.

Y’all, it’s Dan Patrick, the Texas Lt. Governor again.

He sashayed down his well-worn path to Fox News this morning and had this to say —

“All those protesters last night, they turned around and ran the other way expecting the men and women in blue to protect them. What hypocrites!” an audibly emotional Patrick said.

Okay, so here I am.  I object to any policeman killing anybody in cold blood. I object to police violence.  So, does that mean I should not expect police protection?

Idiot.  He’s an idiot.  Even Governor Abbott knew we’d had enough shooting without adding his mouth to the gunfire chorus.

But not Dan Patrick.  Oh no, not Dan.  And while he was on his Mouth ‘O Terror Tour this morning, he orders the state flag to be flown at half-staff because he’s “acting Governor.”

Obviously, Dan doesn’t understand that “acting Governor” means more than acting like you’re a governor.  It’s kinda rude that he didn’t tell Governor Abbott that there had been a coup.

Gov. Greg Abbott has ordered that Texas flags across the state be lowered to half-staff in honor of the Dallas police shooting victims.

It is becoming increasingly hard to embarrass Texas but somehow we manage to find the biggest pecan in the sack of nuts.

Straight from the Republican National Convention —

So I guess it’s true that Donald Trump had to dig up some speakers.

I hate to make any comments until we know exactly what happened.  However, I feel compelled to say that the Dallas Police Department and their Chief of Police just might be our finest.

My heart aches for Dallas.

UPDATE:  I’ve decided to add something.  I write a humor column for OutSmart, an LGBT magazine in Houston.  This is what I wrote last month.

Please tell Congress that we want a vote on gun safety.

Please call (202) 224-3121 and ask to speak to your U.S. Representative in the House. Tell him/her you want to see a vote on the Feinstein “Terror Gap” legislation in the House, NOT the weak Cornyn bill.

Then call Speaker Ryan at (202) 225-0600 with the same exact message.

OK, I am one of those rare cats who loves both Star Wars and Star Trek.   In 1968, my Halloween Star Fleet uniform became my pajamas for the rest of first grade. I first went to Star Wars in 1977 because I had been jonesing for a space opera since they cancelled Star Trek. I watched almost every episode of The Next Generation on the night it came out. Since Return of the Jedi, I’ve seen every Star Wars movie on opening day, usually at the midnight showing. I’ve seen every Star Trek movie several times (ESPECIALLY the bad ones) and I intend to see this next one several times, as well.

Set Phasers to PHABULOUS!

And now, from the franchise that brought you the first interracial kiss on TV, with the release of Star Trek Beyond in two weeks, we FINALLY have a gay character!

In an apparent homage to George Takei, who first came out as gay in 2005, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, chief helmsman aboard the Enterprise, is revealed to be raising a daughter with his same-sex partner.

Kudos to director Justin Lin and writer/Mr Scott Simon Pegg (who also had a cameo in the latest Star Wars movie!) for this classy, classy move.

Way to Boldly Go where no Star Trek has gone before!

Marietta, Texas, is of course in East Texas.  It’s half way between Nodamnplace and Mt. Pleasant.

There’s Armadillos there and 52 year old Samuel Ebert was trying to fix that.

He hauled off and fired his gun three times at an armadillo at 3:00 am. Best I know from my vast armadillo experience, armadillos do not routinely glow in the dark. I imagine the only light at 3:00 am in east Texas is neon, not the best for hunting.

In an odd twist of hunting protocol, Samuel Ebert ended up shooting himself.

He claimed the bullet ricocheted off the animal’s hard-shelled armor and plunked him in the head.

Sheriff Larry Rowe countered the explanation, saying the bullet more likely bounced off a rock.

“We got tough armadillos out here. But they’re not that tough,” Rowe told the Daily News.

He ended up with a fractured jaw, and the sheriff knowing he was drunk at 3:00 am shooting at rocks, which might be kinda embarrassing.

Amarillo 1, Rock 0, Samuel Ebert -3.