Archive for June, 2016

San Antonio

June 16, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I am in San Antonio today for the Texas Democratic Party State Convention.

Donald Trump is also in San Antonio today.  I think he’s here to demand to see the birth certificate for our party chairman, Judge Gilberto Hinojosa.

13413669_10210387105132809_2914694390596732069_nHere’s Bubba and Glen Maxey last night on their way to dinner.  And yes, they are mighty proud of their Hawaiian shirts.

We meet to work on the platform and hold a State Democratic Executive Committee Meeting today and the big convention with thousands of Texas Democrats starts tomorrow.

Wish us luck in selecting our party leaders.  I am term limited off my SDEC seat this election so that means I’ll have more free time to raise holy hell.

I’ll update you when I can and DaChipster has promised to kick  in when he can.

I am so damn proud of our Democratic Senators for refusing to sit down and shut up!

 

What a Guy!

June 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Virginia Nebraska California New Mexico Oklahoma (Yeah, I’m just jacking with you) Vermont Republican State Senator Norman McAllister is in trial this week because a woman who worked for him says “he forced her into oral sex and intercourse at his home farm where she also worked.”

UnknownNow I know his trial is ongoing, but even if he’s found not guilty …

And he also faces another trial in the case this fall on sex offenses involving two other women.

Dude, put it away.

Look, I am not saying that all Republicans are sex perverts in one way or another, I’m saying … oh hell, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

 

I Love Yew, Texas

June 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, Texas Congressvarmint Pistol Pete Sessions (we call him that because he’s always shooting off his mouth) has found himself in the position of being unable to keep all them minority-type folks in the proper categories.

Pistol Pete says that Pulse cannot possible be a gay nightclub because ….

 

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Oh my.  We could not possibly grieve gays, but Latinos, well, they are mostly okay – except, of course, those from Mexico.  Plus, Latinos can’t be gay.  And gays can’t be Latinos, right?  Can black people be gay?  Pete hasn’t figured that out.

Pete’s spokesperson (clean up person) said he was misunderstood.

“What my boss meant to say was that there weren’t only gay individuals at the club but people from all walks of life were present,” Boothe said.

Oh hell, he didn’t mean to say that and you know it.  He meant what he said because he’s a an old white guy who hasn’t been to a dance club since Sonny and Cher broke up.

Y’all, Pete is goofy.  And there’s just too many minorities for him to keep up with them.

Thanks to Dominic for the heads up.

Just For Fun

June 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

 

Juanita Jean’s Free Friendly Translation Services

June 14, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Okay, here ya go.  Translated from Cuban/Canadian/Texan into English what this means is that he wants to be able to call African Americans the N word, LGBT people the Q word, and Muslims the Sand N words.

Women should be called dames, cute little filly, or simply, sweetheart followed by words fetch me some …

He wants to fly his confederate flag and name all the school Jefferson Davis.

He’s sick of mixed marriages on teevee, and that Neal deGrasse Tyson should have to wear white face when he talking smart.

Black men should not be allowed in the White House because that just doesn’t even make sense.

He wants to preach that Muslim people aren’t even people because they don’t love Jesus.

He wants to rename the Girl Scouts to the Not Lesbian Scouts.

He wants Mexicans to stop talking that moon man – language that he can’t even understand.

He wants people to start naming their kids Ozzie and Harriet like normal people.

 

Yeah, Because the Last One Worked So Damn Well

June 14, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Newt Gingrich can roll up here on the boots of ex-wives and kiss my big blue butt.

You know that thing about history repeating itself?  Grab your hat!

newtthedickFormer House Speaker Newt Gingrich proposed the creation of a new version of the controversial House Un-American Activities Committee to root out American citizens who plan to commit terrorist attacks in the U.S.

“We originally created the House Un-American Activities Committee to go after Nazis. We passed several laws in 1938 and 1939 to go after Nazis and we made it illegal to help the Nazis. We’re going to presently have to go take the similar steps here,” Gingrich said in a Monday appearance on “Fox and Friends.”

Oh, and Gingrich gets to play the role of Joe McCarthy in this version?

Y’all, he’s serious.

Can I be the first to turn in Newt Gingrich as one who might commit terrorism?  Please, please, pretty please, let me be the first.