And, apparently, your brain.

Tony Robbins, Guru of Rampant Raging Guruism, held a seminar in Dallas.  He asked people to walk on hot coals.  In Dallas.  In the summertime. Hell, how does he think they got there?

So people who had given him money got a chance to walk across hot coals.  Now I wanna tell you something.  I’m a native Texan and, Honey, I would not walk across hot coals even to get barbeque.  Do you hear me? Not even barbeque.

Approximately 40 participants attending a Tony Robbins seminar downtown suffered minor burn injuries late Thursday after walking across hot coals in what is being described as a motivational event.

Trainers for Robbins’ motivational seminars told News 8 walking on coals is a very emotional experience for people, and that participants were doing something they didn’t think was possible.

But we saw just how painful a reality that exercise was for a large group of people attending the “Unleash the Power Within” seminar in Dallas Thursday night.

I don’t know this for a fact but I imagine poking yourself in the eye with a ballpoint pen would be very emotional, too, because holy-crap-that’s-painful is an emotion.  It’s just that I wouldn’t do that and I sure as tarnation wouldn’t pay somebody to talk me into it.

I’m figuring that Trump University was full so the spill-over crowd of idiots went to this seminar.

Write this down somewhere: do not walk on hot coals.  They are very hot.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

You do want to watch this.  Yes, you do.

It’s the First Ever Flying Fickle Finger of Fate ever.

Some things never, ever change.

Go Congress!

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

You knew this was coming, right?

Okay, since Britain screwed  up their country with Bexit, can Texas be far behind?

Oh hell no.

After residents of the UK voted today to leave the European Union, the movement for an independent Texas may be gaining serious momentum, with thousands online calling for a “Texit.”

The largest group agitating for secession is the Texas Nationalist Movement, which has been promoting its own version of Brexit, called Texit, over the past several weeks. The group has taken inspiration from the pro-exit campaign in Britain, noting that the two movements share many of the same principles.

How about a GoToHellit?

Serious, they are perfectly serious.  Who do they think would stop it?  Nobody likes Texas.  The Bushes and the Gohmerts and the Dan Patricks and The Dallas Cowboys fixed all that.

Look, I am perfectly okay with letting them Texit.  I just wonder where they’re going when they leave and maybe I could get their social security check.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

This morning, so far, the court has upheld affirmative action as a factor in admission to the University of Texas.  That’s good because the more inclusive we are, the more tolerant we become.

And … they stuck down President Obama immigration policy on a 4 – 4 vote because we are not near tolerant enough yet.

Louie Gohmert, y’all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rxw07hNd7qA

They should have handed him the microphone.  He would have started a holy war.

Louie Gohmert is a scardy cat.

Paul Ryan, damfool congressvarmint, actually said of the Democratic sit-in, “It’s a publicity stunt.”

Of. Course. It. Is. You. Damn. Fool.  What the fool tarnation do you think it is?

What the hell do you think any sit-in is?  It is to gain publicity for your cause.  By turning off the cameras you made it forbidden fruit and gave it power.  You wanna talk about stunts?  Turning off the camera wasn’t a stunt?

What America needs is not less publicity but more, far more, publicity about who the NRA owns.

And while we’re on this subject, what exactly do you call the entire life of Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee?  A thoughtful process of self discovery and ethics actualization?

One other thing while I’m mad and feeling my oats.  I heard with my own two ears that Paul Ryan says that he’s fighting to “defend the constitution because every citizen in this country deserves Second Amendment Rights because of the Heller decision.”

Two things: Is Ryan saying that felons and those adjudicated insane have a right to guns?

Second, Roe V Wade says I have the right to privacy but that doesn’t stop you from infringing on my rights.

Paul Ryan is a damn fool.