You gotta stand in pure drooling amazement of Oklahoma.

Republican state lawmakers in Oklahoma have introduced a resolution urging the state’s congressional delegation to start an effort to impeach President Barack Obama over a White House recommendation that schools accommodate transgender students.

The Oklahoma resolution, introduced on Thursday night, calls on the state’s members of the U.S. House of Representatives to file articles of impeachment against Obama, the U.S. attorney general, the U.S. secretary of education and others over the policy.

Look, why don’t you guys just stand on the Arkansas border and holler, “Screw You!” toward DeeCee and then go home and burn down your barn to show you mean business.  That would be just about as effective, y’all will feel a whole lot better, and you wouldn’t look like such damn fools.

Damn fools.  You can fix ignorance, but foolishness is not curable.

The better people get to know Donald Trump, the better President Obama looks.  We’re gonna miss this guy.

The Washington Post has the story.

He was in Atlanta, Georgia, singing and grinning with Willie and Jimmy.

They sang Amazing Grace together.  And then they went out and built a house or some damn thing.  Jimmy even has a Willie necktie.

Funny:

Damn. Louisiana is so perfect that there is nothing left to improve except for …

A Republican lawmaker on Wednesday proposed that a bill raising the minimum age for dancers at strip clubs also allow the state of Louisiana to regulate strippers’ weight.

State Rep. Kenneth Havard was discussing the bill, which would raise the minimum age for exotic dancers from 18 to 21, when he also threw out there that he’d like the dancers to remain under 160 pounds, according to The Huffington Post. Havard also suggested the maximum age for a stripper under the law should be 28.

After everybody looked at him as if he had left his brain in the freezer at home, Havard backtracked and said, “It was just a joke.”

No dude, the joke’s on you.

To prove it was a joke, Havard said it was an equal-opportunity joke.

“It was aimed at both men and women. I can’t strip either. I’m a little overweight,” Havard told the Times-Picayune.

A little?  Ya think?

Holy cow, Child, put down that bowl of étouffée and go sneeze because your brain is dusty.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.  

And Thanks to Bob for this one  —

Rick Perry wants to be somebody.  Anybody.  He’s desperate.  Here is a man who has never held a damn job in his life.  I’m not kidding.  Government has been his only job.

Now he’s begging, begging for a job. It’s soul crushing plea, y’all.

Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), who once called Donald Trump “a cancer on conservatism,” told CNN that he would be willing to serve as the presumptive Republican nominee’s vice president.

Said Perry: “I suspect I’m going to be helping him in a myriad ways — but if it’s the vice presidency, if a cabinet position is where he needs somebody with my experience then I’m not going to go back to Texas and say, ‘Aw shucks sir, I’m gonna go fishing.’ I’m gonna go serve my country.”

I mean, holy cow, the man went out and bought glasses and everything.

Yep, Ole Rick is willing to help cancer grow in America.

Because he’s a desperate man.

Y’all, it is semi-probable that Dick Cheney moved to Portland, Oregon, and became the police chief.

Portland Police Chief Larry O’Dea is under state investigation for accidentally shooting a friend in the back during an eastern Oregon hunting trip last month.

O’Dea was on vacation April 21 in Harney County when he fired his .22-caliber rifle, striking a friend once in the lower left side of his back, according to police and Harney County dispatch records.

Left lower side of the back translates into left hiney cheek.

Now, here comes the fun stuff.

Chief O’Dea was with the former head of firearms training at the Police Bureau.  So it’s not like there was a overabundance of people who didn’t know what the hell they were doing.

Which might explain why the chief did not acknowledge that he shot his friend until a month after it happened.

Harney County Sheriff’s Lt. Brian Needham said he couldn’t make a police report available because it hasn’t been finalized. He didn’t release further details about what occurred. The investigation is ongoing, he said.

Sooooooo … how drunk was he?

The friend will be okay.

Thanks to Epp for the heads up.